Ok, it starts here

savingwannabe

Go swimming that is a good idea. Keep busy. Still praying petal.

Wordsmith

If they were going to suspend you, William, wouldn't they have already done so? They could have phoned, or even sent someone to your home. I was suspended from work once, they phoned me and told me not to go in.

Do go swimming. Exercise helps enormously, by releasing endorphins (or something).

When you catch yourself thinking dark thoughts, stand on one leg, holding the ankle of the raised leg behind you (don't try this in the swimming pool). Sounds daft, I know, but you have to concentrate so hard on holding your balance it clears your mind.

One of my favourite sayings, which I know is not so easy to put into practice, is stand porter at the door of thought. When you catch yourself allowing poisonous thoughts to enter your mind, simply don't allow them in. We are in charge, mostly, of what we think and we can change these thoughts to more positive ones. No, it doesn't make the problem go away, but it can stop you becoming immobolised by it. Do remember that at the moment, you don't know what is going to happen.

Good luck, again.

williamD1964

The way that my company works now is they make sure they take their pound of flesh. I have known them to allow someone to keep a station open (on overtime, because if he didn;t work, the station would have probably have had to close, or a manager would have had to work the shift), then they suspended him at the end of the shift. They knew before he started that he should would be suspended. As far as they were concerned it made good business sense to keep him there as long they needed.

Wordsmith

Well, stay strong, don't do anything hasty, and let us know what happens. If nothing is said tonight, do you feel able to bring up the subject yourself? You cannot let your despair linger without knowing.

There will be a (good) way forward, come what may.

williamD1964

And so to bed for a few hours. Have taken half a tablet (which I am loathed to do) so I hope to grab a few hours anyway. I made dinner for the wife and kids, but couldn't face eating. Two saying keep going through my mind:
The first is " Dead man walking".

The other is this:

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our English dead.
In peace there's nothing so becomes a man
As modest stillness and humility:
But when the blast of war blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the tiger;
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,
Disguise fair nature with hard-favour'd rage;
Then lend the eye a terrible aspect;
Let pry through the portage of the head
Like the brass cannon; let the brow o'erwhelm it
As fearfully as doth a galled rock
O'erhang and jutty his confounded base,
Swill'd with the wild and wasteful ocean.
Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide,
Hold hard the breath and bend up every spirit
To his full height. On, on, you noblest English.
Whose blood is fet from fathers of war-proof!
Fathers that, like so many Alexanders,
Have in these parts from morn till even fought
And sheathed their swords for lack of argument:
Dishonour not your mothers; now attest
That those whom you call'd fathers did beget you.
Be copy now to men of grosser blood,
And teach them how to war. And you, good yeoman,
Whose limbs were made in England, show us here
The mettle of your pasture; let us swear
That you are worth your breeding; which I doubt not;
For there is none of you so mean and base,
That hath not noble lustre in your eyes.
I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,
Straining upon the start. The game's afoot:
Follow your spirit, and upon this charge
Cry 'God for Harry, England, and Saint George!'

Take care people will post when I can. xxxx

savingwannabe

I have always loved Rudyard Kipling's If. Another great poem.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/if/</B>

Sleep and hope to hear good news. Good luck my friend. swX

BILLIE

William - I have just read most of your thread and am deeply concerned for your frame of mind (going to work in that state) and obviously what awaits you. From an Employment Law sense no employer can make you work if you are under the threat of suspension and if you have had the last few days off you should have received written confirmation that you should not return to work until a meeting is arranged. My thoughts are with you and I hope that you will soon be able to log on to share your load. You have done and will do amazing things in your lifetime - your mum and brother are walking alongside you - they will support you as will we on here albeit virtually. Billie xx

savingwannabe

What a lovely post.

Witlim

I have read much of this thread William and I am sending through positive vibes for you in your meeting tonight. You seem like a strong-minded guy and very tough (even if you don't know it). Well done on passing 1 year not gambling. Wishing you nothing but good.

Savingwannabe and Firewalker also deserve a mention as very supportive members with useful advice.

Regards,

Will

savingwannabe

He is a great guy, He, Worried jim and Firewalker were the reasons i came back to MSE and i haven't regretted it for a moment. Some lovely people on this site. Everyone pulls together it is a family.