Ok, it starts here

williamD1964

No histrionics, I need to get it sorted. I have credit card debts of £16000, a mortgage of £185,000 (interest only), a personal loan of £11,000 and an overdraft of £1200 (split over two banks. I bring in £2350 every 4 weeks plus family allowance and working tax credits totalling £172. I am lucky in the fact that I am able to meet all my commitments financially. My problem? I am a gambler. No, I am a fool, and a !!!! gambler. I don't do horses, or dogs, I play the roulette machines. Oh I can go 3 or four weeks without even thinking about them then suddenly blow £300 in 20 minutes. I rarely win. No, again, I never win. I then spend a day beating myself up about how much of a idiot I am.

I am now reaching breaking point where I have sat down and worked out what I need to do. I need to clear the credit cards down to at least £6000 in 21 months, when my mortgage fix term runs out on mortgage. It is possible, but I have to stay clean.

I made a start this today. I cleared my £70 overdraft with the RBS and closed the account. One less account to borrow money from if I need a fix.

I also paid £375 of the cards, with a hope that if I can curb my spending (I have left myself £200 for the month after everything is paid). What ever is left, I intend to split between the cards and saving a little for a rainy day!!!

All help and support will be appreciated

williamD1964

Day two - two hours sleep, on the sofa. Up most of the night looking at money makng ideas but getting nowhere. Have been accepted for a medical trial on March 11th (found through MSE) where they will be monitoring my brain activity while wtaching tv and the internet! Thats £60 I will earn.

Ok. Here come the details.

45, married for 9 years, two beautiful 5 year olds (twins, one of each). Have a nice house, car, excellent job. Wife doing avon to get her back into work.
One of the things I didnt mention is the fact that the wife doesn't know about most of the debt and I can't tell her. If she knew, she would walk and I will lose everything.
A friend of mine has suggested hypnotherapy. He has a friend who would be willing to do the sessions and, although sceptical I am willing to try.
Kids up, having breakfast.
Time for a coffee and a shower. Work at 2pm so got to iron my uniform (and no you can't ask what I do!)
Anyone know if mystery shopping is any good? Can do central london, west london (hounlow area, or luton/bedford area). Need to work out a strategy for earning about £200 extra a month (yeah me and 3 million others!)

HalfPint

Hi William,

I dont usually frequent this board but didnt want to read and run. My OH had a problem like your, with the machines too. You can get through it (he did). We're still paying off the debt but pay it we will. There are lots of supportive people on here. Please also try and confide in your mrs or a close friend. You need someone there who will be able to be firm and say no when you are feeling too weak to do so. The gambling power is a strong one but not unbreakable. Take it a day at a time, congratulate yourself each day that you manage not to gamble. Soon the good days will outweigh the bad. You've already done the hardest and most difficult step..admitting its a problem so Well Done!

I wish you all the will power in the world...and congratulations on making the first step.

HP x

williamD1964

Day Three - Had a manic day at work yesterday, loads of stress and felt exhausted by the time I got home. Literally walked in sat on the sofa at 9:30pm and fell asleep. Woken up by daughter at 5:50am wanting a hug!
So, showered, coffee'd and rezdy to start the day. Looking to empty a few things onto ebay this week and, have a week off on march where I will try to set up loads of mystery shopping trips. here's hoping.
Clean day yesterday. Too busy to think about anything else.
Regarding will power, At 28, (am now 45) I was smoking almost 60 cigarettes a day, and gave up over night. Hoping to really make inroads into staying clean. Longest I have stayed clean was about two years. But, small steps, one day at a time.
Time to take the kids to school. More later. Really feel like writing. Anyone know how to find youe diary quickly?

[Deleted User]

Hi William,

Small steps but you will get there

To find your diary again, go to the top click on thread tools and subscribe to thread.

Will be reading your diary with interest.

Tea
x

williamD1964

Just a flying visit. Really need to iron my shirt for work! Finally feeling better within myself. Have felt really !!!!!!, run down the last few days. Have had a stomach bug, and pains in my upper torso (mostly muscular) but now all seems ok. Starting to think about targets to set.
Know I want to loose some pounds, so instead of the bus, will cycle or walk to the train station (about a mile). Its a start at least!.
I know this predicament is all my fault and I must get myself out of this, but I do miss having someone to talk to about this. To offer encouragement, to kick me up the !!!! when I get to maudling, to call when I need to chat. The friends I have, are not the sort to listen or encourage. Besides which it would probably get back to the wife. The one person I used to confide in was my brother, but he died nearly 10 years ago. Hope I have a busy day at work, will keep me occupied!

Oh, cheese and pickle sandwiches, an apple and a yoghurt for dinner.

Boozer

I know the feeling of losing and then thinking how you could have put that money to good use all to well, it was bandits for me, and a couple of hundred pound was easy to do, but i just decided one day to stop and now i just think of the times when i lost and how bad i felt.

Good luck with it, i think the fact that you could lose your family should be enough to make you stop.

kindofagilr

Hi William (so strange as this is my fathers name)

Stick at it, keep thinking of your wife and those little girls.

My dad had a major gambling problem, his was the horses, he ran up so much debt and didnt tell my mother.

First thing mam knew was when the police turned up at the door on behalf of Barclays

Anyway they had to sell the house to pay the debt off, we moved to a housing association house, and dad did it again, he kept gambling, that was when I was 1, it took till I was 14 for mam to be able to get another deposit together (no benefit help then) for her own house, she is still paying morgtgage, and will be for anothe 15 years, it will end when she is 70, he ruined my mam's life.

Mam had to tell him to leave, i've not really seen him since then.

Just keep thinking that you dont want that to happen to your wife and kids

Keep talking to people on here, you can get through it, you are doing really well.

williamD1964

Thanks for your kind words. Just in from work, was manic today. Just after 2 am, time for a shower and then bed. Managed to get the wife nearly £100 of avon orders from work colleagues today. Hoping that will get me back in her good books. Things have been a bit fraught here. I could do with a hug but would be grateful for a smile! Got a short day tomorrow, start at 6pm and finish at 10ish, but sundays a long one. Kindofagilr, your words really moved me, and I pray to what ever god will listen that I dont lose my family. My children are my world, the only reason I live at the moment. I am lucky to have a boy and a girl, not two girls though ( doubt I could survive in a house with three women!).
Spent no money today, sandwiches and a paper off the train to read, and book from the works (impromptu) library. A nice zombie/dawn of the dead type.
Probably be up at at 6 with kids. My daughter always wakes "daddy" up first, because he cooks the best pancakes at the weekend!

williamD1964

Up at 6.45. After several coffees and pancakes for the kids, awake enough for the morning. Hope the weather improves, as want to take the kids to the park and feed the ducks. Also want to try and do ebaying today, look at the mystery shopping threads too
Feeling ok, want to push on while the momentum is there. Any suggestions gratefully recieved.

williamD1964

Ok, serious advice needed. Been reading a few posts on here this morning, and want to clarify something.
Last year, I changed to an interest only mortgae from a repayment. This has helped me reduce the debt and free up funds. The plan is to wrok my nuts off to pay the credit cards off (or as much as possible).
I have £186000 mortgage, fixed until Feb 2013, when I will have 15 years to run on it. I will be 48. The plan was to then remortgage to the full value (186000) over 17 years, at repayment.
My concern is this:
Can the bank arbitrarily decide to change me back to repayment?