My turn to be down ***happy update 16th Aug***

Hobble_2

Hi Emmzi, sorry to read you're having such a hard time. I don't post here often (lurker mostly:o), but I just wanted to say that going through a break up is terrible. Doesn't matter who the instigator is, it's always horrible and it's normal that you are feeling down.

I know how soul-destroying the whole job-hunting thing is, where you feel you have no option but to take the last thing you would normally choose. But all I can say is that in my situation, things have gotten desperate and before I had to leave where I lived due to no income, a job presented itself. Definitely not my first choice (second, third or even tenth choice) but I took it and several years later it has led to something only possible because I took that first s****y job. Don't mean to sound trite at all, but things seem to have a way of sorting themselves out and it's not always obvious straight away. I hope you feel better by the time you read this and sorry for the ramble....

Emmzi

Wish I could take a break.. parental visit tomorrow- afraid I need to be cheerful because if I'm not, their worry gets bigger, so my stress gets bigger.. so forced smiles all weekend.. followed by a week of work and 3interviews. (1 agency so doesn't count. one for a job far far away, one for a job locally I'll hate. All a bit tragic!)

Thanks to all for your kind words. Just might have to move to Manchester!

I think I will book a megacheap flight for official end date for this contract.(I had booked a 5pm.co.uk night out for me and b/f but I don't really want to go now.)

Oh hell.. I live in Scotland, call centre capital of the world.. no doubt I will be listening to some of your rants about bank charges and trying to flog you loan insurance by year end.

Mike_St_Helens

Ha Ha... yeah a nice flight to nowhere !

Had a nice letter from a call centre in Scotland today... Trying to claim my fees back from If.com, they said... because im bankrupt they are not allowed to deal with me... WOW! nes o me about the bankrupcy... why am i not aware of it and am trying to pay all the !!!!!!s off till the year 2065!!!

Emmzi

Can't sleep, despite it being way past bedtime.
Can't get past feeling treated badly.
Can't believe he's in the pub with his mates like nothing happened.

Can't cry any more as all cried out.

Ok. *A responsible,. dependable boyfriend is heading my way...*

jessicamb

Emmzi wrote:

Can't sleep, despite it being way past bedtime.
Can't get past feeling treated badly.
Can't believe he's in the pub with his mates like nothing happened.

Can't cry any more as all cried out.

Ok. *A responsible,. dependable boyfriend is heading my way...*

I'm going to sound like your mother:

He doesnt deserve you, he doesnt know what he is missing. If he's not bothered then it is his loss. Think of the positives about this rather than the negatives if you possibly can.

I will stop myself short of saying theres plenty more fish..

Hope you can get to sleep soon - have you tried the self hypnosis type thingyumybobs where you do deep breathing and tell each of your body parts to relax? Write down all the things that are worrying you to get them out of your mind? Sometimes works for me. Dont worry about not sleeping too much - it makes it worse I'm sure.

Another :grouphug: and a :coffee: from me.

Emmzi

He damn well DOESN'T deserve me!!!

Have deleted him from mobile. All I need now is 20 mates to call me so home phone erases all memory of his number, heh. Well, that'll happen over the next 2 weeks or so anyway.

Slept ok, actually.

So it's clearly time to get into the exercise and beauty regimes. I need to be attractig them a couple of steps higher up the ladder...

To keep it DFW, I am also sure things will be better now I really only have me to look after catering wise!

Wizwoo

Hi Emmzi,
I was living with a guy for over 3 years before I finally decided that enough was enough and that I'd given him chance after chance and that he was never going to be the support I needed.

If your b/f does call you and you sort things out then good luck to you both - but if he doesn't - then there is nothing better than going to the gym / doing some exercise for boosting your confidence / self esteem. It's that gained confidence and self esteem that will make you even more attractive hun .

As for the happy pills? I'll be honest when I was on them they made me feel amazing - my self esteem rocketed and I got more attention from the guys than ever before but I was already in a relationship and it nearly wrecked it. I'm still in that relationship and he's my happy pill now (awhhhhh!)

Good luck on the job front - it will happen for you I know it will.

xxx

Emmzi

Thanks.

My parents are coming to see me today, so that gives me a really good reason to be OUT and unavailable. The next 3 or 4 weeks(when he is moving to my home town!! but thankfully into rented accomodation) will be toughest.

I know he has been depressed because of unemployment, but really,I just can't handle it anymore. Maybe he will be better when he is studying, but I've waited long enough.

However.. good things to come out of this period of my life..

- broke 4 year dating no man's land. Actually, I AM pretty and clever and kind
- found out not all men are gits (ok, we're not compatible. he's still been a 'nice guy')
- made a girly best friend while moving about between jobs
- have 3 nights out and a weekend away planned, which I can now take my girly mates to, and they're all paid for!
- not a break up because of cash or affairs or other people, so MAY be possible to still be mates in a few months time
- much better position financially than a year ago (CAN get by on call centre wage + savings for 4 years)
- not quite so bothered now about working in another town, so hunt for interim work in the south is ON

and of course

YOU GUYS!!

You're the best support network a girl could have.

No doubt more mood swings and tears to come- but not today.

ZTD

Emmzi wrote:

He damn well DOESN'T deserve me!!!

Have deleted him from mobile. All I need now is 20 mates to call me so home phone erases all memory of his number, heh. Well, that'll happen over the next 2 weeks or so anyway.

Most phones you can delete them anyway - you'll have to see the manual.

Emmzi wrote:

Slept ok, actually.

That's good - sleep's very important. :grouphug: Hope you're feeling much better today.

Emmzi wrote:

So it's clearly time to get into the exercise and beauty regimes. I need to be attractig them a couple of steps higher up the ladder...

A couple of steps nearer to where you are hun. :A

Emmzi wrote:

To keep it DFW, I am also sure things will be better now I really only have me to look after catering wise!

But don't be tempted to skimp on food. Regular nutricious meals of good quality. And yes, I know I'm starting to sound like your mum (aka jessicamb )

BestFootForward_2

You sound in top form today Emmzi.

Most problems have a way of sorting themselves out. I have a three month rule. Whenever I find myself up to my eyeballs, I tell myself "Everything will be fine after a couple of months", and it usually is.

Take care