Trying to stop an impending family rift...

lufcgirl

I have text her (as she has been teaching since 9am through till 8.30pm - see, a nice girl really!) and said that as long as me, her parents, sisters, nephews and hundreds of friends think she's a good honest person then theres no reason to doubt yourself due to some ignorant fools. And that we'd all be there for her. Saying that OH's Mum is furious with them for portraying her daughter to be some sort of criminal. She wants nothing to do with them now either.

venus1978

hmm I wonder if the family had been hoping for some cash in exchange for letting her stay ?? or do you think thats way off mark.

edit: ignore that comment sound really silly when you read it

euronorris

lufcgirl wrote: »

She's now had a message saying she has no right to be upset as the relatives are 'going through a huge amount of pain and suffering due to her actions'.

Personally I don't want her having anything more to do with them, she was old and mature enough to decide whether or not to hold the bag (a no wouldn't have been out of place if she had decided not to!) yet she ran to her Mum.

I would tell her not to respond any further. Their comments are antagonistic and continuing this discussion with them any further will only result in a HUGE argument.

Best to just leave it and put it down to experience, I think.

chesky369

"Trying to stop an impending family rift"

Well, you haven't. And they obviously live in a completely different world from your friend. Sheltered, not quite with it.

I'm afraid your friend has lost them - move on.

rachel6188

i hope your OH is ok. sounds like they live in a very sheltered world. xox

Dormouse

The family sound totally mental.

Can I just clarify one thing though - and this is a personal question. OP, are you female (only going by your username here...)? It's just that if you are, then perhaps the family have a problem with your relationship with your OH, and instead of saying anything about it, they've concocted this idiotic story to, I don't know, have an excuse not to have your OH over again?

If I got the wrong end of the stick, then they are just mental, or otherwise... judgemental? Whatever it is, you and your OH are best rid of them.

lufcgirl

Dormouse wrote: »

The family sound totally mental.

Can I just clarify one thing though - and this is a personal question. OP, are you female (only going by your username here...)? It's just that if you are, then perhaps the family have a problem with your relationship with your OH, and instead of saying anything about it, they've concocted this idiotic story to, I don't know, have an excuse not to have your OH over again?

If I got the wrong end of the stick, then they are just mental, or otherwise... judgemental? Whatever it is, you and your OH are best rid of them.

Oh god no! They've met me once, as a friend from Uni. Whenever they know she's with me on the phone, they say hello, ask how I am etc. They were lovely until this weekend!
I just don't understand at all, but like everyone says, she's best shot of them

Dormouse

It is all very strange, I can't understand it either. Hope your OH is not too upset by it.

Kay_Peel

The daughter was uncomfortable with the request to 'hide' the baggage from airline staff. She mentioned it to her mother. Understandably, mother was very upset and disappointed that her daughter had been used in some sort of dodge. Whether it was or wasn't a dodge is not the issue - the fact is that the English Family felt compromised and let down.

She has told your OH exactly what she thought of her. I can't see anything wrong with that - they truly believed that your OH had put the daughter in a difficult position and that it was a reckless, risky and dangerous dodge.

These people are strangers not family. They are distant cousins four times removed, or something like that. Your OH has only befriended them in recent years, during some research about her family tree. It's not a real family rift - just the end of a brief friendship. I don't suppose the family will be having your OH to stay again.

*Louise*

lufcgirl wrote: »

She's now had a message saying she has no right to be upset as the relatives are 'going through a huge amount of pain and suffering due to her actions'.

Good grief they will be trying to sue her for 'emotional upset next'!! :eek:

I would say it's laughable, but from your OH's point of view it is grossly unfair to be treated like that for such a stupid reason.

I am with your OH and say stuff the flowers...but I would write a letter finalising my explanation of events (and finishing by saying I would not apologise/grovel any more for such a minor incident), that way I could say goodbye to the relationship knowing I had gotten my point across.


At least she has got lots of other family and friends who DO care