Trying to stop an impending family rift...

euronorris

lufcgirl wrote: »

• That the barrier wouldn't raise when she left the car park and she thought she was being arrested for holding the bag

I think it's the above that has caused the problem.

The family are obviously sticklers for rules and have confused the airline's own rules with the airport security rules.

And, I think the other points are as a result of the above. Your OH's cousin obviously panicked and had probably turned it into a much bigger deal in her head before she got home. Then probably relayed the story to her folks when she was still emotional about it.

The 'only here for accomodation' thing has then followed on, IYSWIM? ie, 'Oh well, she was only using us anyway blah blah blah'.

And, honestly, I think their perception of your OH has now been changed. ie, they believe her to be very dishonest in their eyes.

I don't believe they even want an apology. They're now looking down their noses at your OH. No apology, no matter how sincere or lovely is ever likely to be enough. And even if it was, I doubt she'd want to maintain contact with them after this anyway.

Sorry it couldn't be resolved and hope your OH is ok.

venus1978

euronorris wrote: »

But, as for this causing a plane crash, being stopped at customs or being arrested....what exactly does she think your OH is carrying? Or is this perhaps the issue? Does the (cousin's) mother, or the cousin believe (for whatever reason) that your OH was trying to smuggle something through?

Ooooh your obviously not a fan of Air Crash Investigation lol ... The episode to fat to fly... the plane was overweight cus the bags were miscalculated....

I have a fear of flying never used to, this programme is solely responsible yet I still torture myself by watching it, its addictive. lol

But yeah they are seriously over reacting. Do they think she's after something or using the family somehow ?

euronorris

venus1978 wrote: »

Ooooh your obviously not a fan of Air Crash Investigation lol ... The episode to fat to fly... the plane was overweight cus the bags were miscalculated....

Is that a TV show? I don't have access to a lot of UK shows anymore

But....I find it unfair that someone of average weight can be charged 40 quid for going over limit by 0.1kg on their hand luggage, yet someone who is 30kg (or more) overweight with a bag weighing 9.9kg isn't charged anything.

I understand why they don't charge them extra (they'd be slaughtered in court and in public for discrimination), but it is still unfair. In my opinion anyway.

I'm sure my views won't be popular, and I understand why.

lufcgirl

venus1978 wrote: »

But yeah they are seriously over reacting. Do they think she's after something or using the family somehow ?

I don't know how they could possibly feel this way. Everytime she goes over it's laden with gifts for them. I saw the case full of them when she left me before travelling down there! OH and her parents have invited the family to their place loads but they won't come, so if OH wants to see them she has to travel there. I think it's grossly unfair on her the way they've treat her.

Anyway now she's decided to screw the flowers idea (mainly because she wouldn't waste money on them) and write a letter outling she has nothing to even apologise for and that they need to grow up. And even then, I'm not sure she wants anything more to do with them after the way they have made her feel so small.

seven-day-weekend

Actually, if I was feeling bad with my anxiety, the barrier not lifting would have worried me too. I'd have got paranoid and thought it was because I'd held the bag. (Although once I'd calmed down I'd have realised that this would not be the case). I can understand why someone might have thought this.

I think the family feel that she has used them and taken advantage of them (rightly or wrongly), and that if they will not accept her apology there is not a lot more she can do.

seven-day-weekend

euronorris wrote: »

I think it's the above that has caused the problem.

The family are obviously sticklers for rules and have confused the airline's own rules with the airport security rules.

And, I think the other points are as a result of the above. Your OH's cousin obviously panicked and had probably turned it into a much bigger deal in her head before she got home. Then probably relayed the story to her folks when she was still emotional about it.

The 'only here for accomodation' thing has then followed on, IYSWIM? ie, 'Oh well, she was only using us anyway blah blah blah'.

And, honestly, I think their perception of your OH has now been changed. ie, they believe her to be very dishonest in their eyes.

I don't believe they even want an apology. They're now looking down their noses at your OH. No apology, no matter how sincere or lovely is ever likely to be enough. And even if it was, I doubt she'd want to maintain contact with them after this anyway.

Sorry it couldn't be resolved and hope your OH is ok.

Excellent post euronorris and I totally agree with you.

I too hope the OP's wife can put this behind her and carry on with her life, having learned some valuable lessons along the way.

euronorris

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Excellent post euronorris and I totally agree with you.

Thank you muchly

lufcgirl

She's now had a message saying she has no right to be upset as the relatives are 'going through a huge amount of pain and suffering due to her actions'.

Personally I don't want her having anything more to do with them, she was old and mature enough to decide whether or not to hold the bag (a no wouldn't have been out of place if she had decided not to!) yet she ran to her Mum.

Boozer

lufcgirl wrote: »

She's now had a message saying she has no right to be upset as the relatives are 'going through a huge amount of pain and suffering due to her actions'.

Pain and suffering?? !!!!!! are they on about??

I would send a message saying you have no idea how this could cause so much pain and suffering and think it would be better not to have anymore contact if something so small can be blown out of all proportions.

princeofpounds

She's now had a message saying she has no right to be upset as the relatives are 'going through a huge amount of pain and suffering due to her actions'.

weirrrrrdddd...