Trying to stop an impending family rift...

curlygirl1971

lufcgirl wrote: »

OH left a message on the daughters answerphone last night asking her to get in touch to discuss everything, and she hasn't even bothered at all.

That could be embarressment at the way this has turned out and perhaps a measure of loyalty to her own mum who has chosen this ridiculous path. If she doesn't know how to handle the situation she could just be avoiding it

Best of luck with this - it can be very upsetting when this sort of thing happens and hope your OH hasn't taken it all to heart

ailuro2

I don't agree with the barrage of abuse, but I do disagree with getting someone else to keep some of your baggage while you go and check in.

That's against the rules for security, surely?

I think they're both as bad as each other here, but DD should get in touch and say now she's had time to think about it that she was wrong to ask her cousin to do that for her.

You should also remind her she could have been in trouble if she'd been caught.:p

PasturesNew

I read it twice and still have no idea what happened ...

seven-day-weekend

PasturesNew wrote: »

I read it twice and still have no idea what happened ...

Same here, although I've managed to fathom out that someone flew with Ryanair and when she was checking in her luggage asked someone else to hold her hand luggage so that it would not get weighed and found (possibly) to be overweight.

Now the family of the person who held the luggage have gone ballistic at the person being asked to do this.

My own take is, although I think the severity of their reaction is over the top, I don't think the person should have asked her relative to hold the bag, you are always being told not to let anyone else carry your bags for security reasons and anyway if it was overweight she should pay the charge or reduce the weight.

She should have made sure her bag was underwight and then there would have been no problem.

I would be annoyed if someone asked my son to do this.

euronorris

ailuro2 wrote: »

I don't agree with the barrage of abuse, but I do disagree with getting someone else to keep some of your baggage while you go and check in.

That's against the rules for security, surely?

Not at all. It's only check in with the airline staff. Her bag would still have been scanned, as usual, when she went through security.

The only security aspect applied to check in, is when they ask: Has anyone packed your case for you, do you have any sharp objects, any banned objects, did someone ask you to carry stuff for them etc etc. And that can be answered with or without the bag there with you. They obviously wouldn't prefer it, but seeing as it's scanned afterwards, and that anyone who was carrying banned items is never going to say 'why yes, I am carrying those banned items Madam', I don't see the issue.

I think they're both as bad as each other here, but DD should get in touch and say now she's had time to think about it that she was wrong to ask her cousin to do that for her.

The cousin is not a child. If she was uncomfortable with it, she should have said so there and then. Not gone running back to Mummy after the event.

You should also remind her she could have been in trouble if she'd been caught.:p

OP, I have no idea why your OH's family is reacting in this way. It doesn't make sense to me either.

But, for the sake of peace keeping, I would do as planned, send the flowers with an apology etc. Hopefully this will open the door to discussion so that your OH can understand why they are upset.

But, as for this causing a plane crash, being stopped at customs or being arrested....what exactly does she think your OH is carrying? Or is this perhaps the issue? Does the (cousin's) mother, or the cousin believe (for whatever reason) that your OH was trying to smuggle something through?

Greenlight77

I think the relatives did go over the top here. As you can only check in on line with RyanAir now and have to print off your boarding card, if you don't have any bags to check into the hold don't you just go straight through to the departure lounge without having to have your hand luggage weighed? I think RyanAir can still check the weight of your hand luggage at the departure gate anyway and make you pay the excess at that point if they wanted to. I think some people have been stung this way having bought duty free in the departure lounge which has made their hand luggage too bulky/heavy.

Perhaps she shouldn't really have left her bag with the relative but in practice this must happen a lot at airports, if you pop to the loo, shops etc before you go through to departure you may not want to lug your hand luggage with you (especially if it is heavy!) and leave it with a family member to look after.

Lotus-eater

With all the uproar over airport security, this family have obviously got the wrong end of the stick.
If you don't fly, you won't get it.

I'm afraid, if this woman has got it into her head that her DD was being taken for a ride, you can tell her all you like, but it won't make any difference.

I would write a short note and give her the details, but otherwise you are going to have to write off the friendship, it sounds like something else would have gone wrong anyway, if they are so easy to fly off the hook.

princeofpounds

This is insane. What is their problem? Has this women ever been to an airport before or have any conception of how flying works? Asking her to keep an eye on a hand luggage bag before check-in is no different to asking the same thing while paying for the taxi, or whilst you pop to the bathroom before leaving the house. No-one gets searched until they go through security - departures is not a secure area as anyone can walk around in there - and I have NO idea what the plane crash thing is all about.

If it were me, I would speak to the ADULT daughter and trying to figure out what is going on. Then I would patiently explain to the mother, if there is some kind of misunderstanding, how departures differs from security differs from the gates. If there is no misunderstanding then I would let her stew and possibly contact the daughter to say that her behaviour has been atrocious and that you won't discuss the matter any further.

Boozer

I fly every month from UK to Africa, and it annoys me when people come onto the plane with hand luggage the size of my check in bag(africans have a habit of doing this), if you are one of the last on the plane you do not get any overhead space which means i am stuck with my bag at my feet for 8 hours, which makes for a less comfortable flight, i do not blame the people for this but i do blame the airline for allowing it, if i can take something inside the plane without paying excess for then i would give it a try.

I seem to have gone off on a tangent, but i wanted to say that i also dont understand the reaction to it, and the plane crash thing is obviously garbage as the bloke sitting next to me weighs twice what i do.

I think the relationship is broken now, your OH is never really going to feel comfortable around them if such a small thing can generate this type of reaction.

Spendless

Not having flown for a few years I;m a bit at a loss as to how this system works.:cool: Surely if the airline weighs hand luggage, they weigh hand luggage and you can't 'pretend' you don't have any just cos you've left it with someone else? Don't they put a tape/sticker on it :huh: If it really is the case that you only have your hand luggage weighed if you go to the desk and later you can 'retrieve' luggage from elsewhere, then the airline is leaving their system wide open to abuse (whether you agree with their rules or not).

Some people are 'sticklers' for the rules even if they don't feel comfortable telling you this. My guess is that either the relative felt uncomfortable though didn't like to say so and/or she's gone home telling her mum who is a stickler for rules and regulations and worries about going against them and she's been 'annoyed' enough about it to say something.

What you can do about it other than what you have done (ie apologise) I don't know.