Adult son starting 1st job - how much should he pay(staying at home)

AussieLass

Churchmouse wrote:

But that's the point, if they're not told how the money was saved, and are not aware it is being saved for them, what's the difference what it's used for?

Yes.......but hyperthetically (sp) :rolleyes: I wouldn't be giving it back to her on a golden platter.

When my kids started a job while still at school, me & DH said however much you save we will match to buy yourselves a car. This is a secondhand car. They had a couple of years to do it. This was an incentive. They would put x amount away and so would I.

It's quite ok to help your kids, I have no problems with that but I think they should make the effort as well and not be given it all on a plate. OS saved the least, DD saved more than him, and YS saved the most. Of course, YS got the better car. To me the greatest gift I gave my kids is their independence.

freebie_junkie

Churchmouse wrote:

Not going to argue freebie-junkie, but if you think the relationship to a mortgage provider and a parent are the same then you have real problems. I am not nor ever will be my children's landlord.

Incidentally I have never been in the situation to be able to give my children their rent back, for whatever purpose, but I would have liked to have been!!

that was an example about teaching your offspring to live in the 'real world' but thanks for your in-depth psychological review, i needed that from the likes of you and if you provide a room and board for a fee, yes you are a landlord by defenition.

if you remember i apologised and was trying to be nice but i guess you kinda do want an argument otherwise you would have just said 'thanks i accept your apology' wouldnt you?

robnye

Timeout..........................

Churchmouse

freebie_junkie wrote:

that was an example about teaching your offspring to live in the 'real world' but thanks for your in-depth psychological review, i needed that from the likes of you and if you provide a room and board for a fee, yes you are a landlord by defenition.

if you remember i apologised and was trying to be nice but i guess you kinda do want an argument otherwise you would have just said 'thanks i accept your apology' wouldnt you?

You quoted one poster who was actually apologising to you. I'm sorry, I genuinely did not realise that was an apology to all who had been offended by some of your posts. I thought it was particular to him. We have very different views, but I would apologise for the offence I've caused you. Suggest we just agree to differ? Best wishes

Churchmouse

AussieLass wrote:

Yes.......but hyperthetically (sp) :rolleyes: I wouldn't be giving it back to her on a golden platter.

When my kids started a job while still at school, me & DH said however much you save we will match to buy yourselves a car. This is a secondhand car. They had a couple of years to do it. This was an incentive. They would put x amount away and so would I.

It's quite ok to help your kids, I have no problems with that but I think they should make the effort as well and not be given it all on a plate. OS saved the least, DD saved more than him, and YS saved the most. Of course, YS got the better car. To me the greatest gift I gave my kids is their independence.

Wow Aussielass, I think that was so generous!! And well thought out! I think if I recall that's what the posters were all saying, let the kids save for whatever, then when they move out, either into rented or to buy, surprise them with a donation towards it.
I don't think there were many if at all, that just wanted to give lazy bums a golden handout!:D

AussieLass

robnye wrote:

Timeout..........................

Hi Robyne :hello:Lovely to see you

AussieLass

Churchmouse wrote:

Wow Aussielass, I think that was so generous!! And well thought out! I think if I recall that's what the posters were all saying, let the kids save for whatever, then when they move out, either into rented or to buy, surprise them with a donation towards it.
I don't think there were many if at all, that just wanted to give lazy bums a golden handout!:D

Oh OK.............sorry I mustn't have read it properly. I did speed read through it. I won't say anymore promise.

Churchmouse

AussieLass wrote:

Oh OK.............sorry I mustn't have read it properly. I did speed read through it. I won't say anymore promise.

Please say as much as you want, Aussielass!!!:D

I wouldn't have thought of the incentive of saying I'll match your savings, think that's brilliant! As long as you could afford it!:rotfl:

DSmiffy

LondonDiva wrote: »

that's what I did when I first graduated!

It costs to have another adult in the house to feed & maintain & all those capable should contribute by a combination of paying 'keep', house work or whatever is agreed.

Just a note here, surely the son or daughter cannot be classed as "another adult in the house" after all, they have been there the whole of their lives and parents have looked after them their whole life. The costs are the same regardless of whether they have a job or not.

When they start earning and pay keep or housekeeping money, that's a benefit, something the parents didn't have before, therefore, if they need the money they can spend it. Also, if they are in the fortunate position of not needing the money, they can put it away and help their children out with it in later life.

Only checked this thread as needed advice for my son who is about to start work, 1/3 sounds good to me.

Sami_Bee

OP - If you are going to save some of the "keep" as you mentioned and you are going to tell ur son he needs to save some of his share of the wage I suggest you save the same as his minimum amount ie.
If he says he will save £50 a week himself and is paying you £80 pw then you put £50 of the keep so in the end he will have double what he has saved :T if he doesn't keep up his payments into the savings then deduct that from the final amount and tell him this when the time comes - that'll teach him

And if anyone cares I'm from a working class home, My older sister is the only member of our family to have gone to uni (and she got a 1st :T)
My Parent's agreed that to make things fair I could live at home rent free for 3yrs and they also bought me a car (the car they got me was a basic model that was 8yrs old not some flashy brand new thing) I paid for my own insurance, MOTs petrol etc. The car was a shed but it was my shed and I looked after her very carefully until I traded her in for something shiner 2yrs later
I fell pregnant during my rent free years and moved out so I've never paid my parent's rent and now my lovely Hubby pays the mortgage so what did I learn? ... find someone else to pay your way :rotfl: