Adult son starting 1st job - how much should he pay(staying at home)

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  • nearlyrichnearlyrich Forumite
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    I've just had this discussion with my friend and she thinks its disgusting that parents take money from their children/adults once they start work. She told me we bring the child into the world we should pay for them until they leave home. She never paid any housekeeping whilst staying with her parents and thinks its wrong for parents to ask their children to do so. Glad Im not only one who thinks they should pay - so might show her this thread.[/quote

    Why should parents keep their adult children in style when they are earning good money? Parents need to have a life and saving for old age is a priority once the children are through college, not to mention a few good holidays etc.

    I am supporting my two through uni, I don't take money from their holiday earnings but if they come back to stay after I will take a reasonable amount from them for their keep.

    I think a third of net earnings is fair, if they don't like the rate they can move out and pay 99% of net earnings for household expenses and groceries ;)
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  • jem16jem16 Forumite
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    I've just had this discussion with my friend and she thinks its disgusting that parents take money from their children/adults once they start work. She told me we bring the child into the world we should pay for them until they leave home. She never paid any housekeeping whilst staying with her parents and thinks its wrong for parents to ask their children to do so. Glad Im not only one who thinks they should pay - so might show her this thread.

    I've supported him all the way through uni, paying for everything and letting him keep his part-time job wages. He's starting working life with no student loan. However now that he's working I think it would send the wrong message if I didn't ask him to contribute. I don't think it would prepare him for real life.
  • Jem16

    I totally agree you should ask him for money. One third sounds good. I was just quite surprised at my friends 'shock and horror' that I would expect my children to contribute so its nice to see I'm not such an ogre.:T
  • LoopLoop Forumite
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    I moved out when I was 16 so I never contributed to my parents house.

    I can tell you its a blimmin shock when you are 16 and everything goes on bills, it taught me VERY quickly the value of money!
    :wall:Crazy Nutters Club Member 003 :wall:
  • jem16jem16 Forumite
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    Jem16

    I totally agree you should ask him for money. One third sounds good. I was just quite surprised at my friends 'shock and horror' that I would expect my children to contribute so its nice to see I'm not such an ogre.:T

    One third of his net pay would work out at £500pm. This sounds like an awful lot to ask from him.
  • nearlyrichnearlyrich Forumite
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    jem16 wrote:
    One third of his net pay would work out at £500pm. This sounds like an awful lot to ask from him.

    He's a lucky guy to have £1500 take home living at home, if you think £500 is too much to ask for then have a discussion with him, make sure he knows the real cost of living, gas, electric , council tax, groceries etc and agree an amount that you both think is fair.

    If you don't make it realistic he won't know the true cost of living when he does move out and if he is sensible he will use your generosity to save a good deposit for his first home.;)
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  • jem16jem16 Forumite
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    nearlyrich wrote:
    He's a lucky guy to have £1500 take home living at home,

    Yes he is very lucky and hopefully he will recognise that.

    if you think £500 is too much to ask for then have a discussion with him, make sure he knows the real cost of living, gas, electric , council tax, groceries etc and agree an amount that you both think is fair.

    You're right - I think a chat will be necessary.
    If you don't make it realistic he won't know the true cost of living when he does move out and if he is sensible he will use your generosity to save a good deposit for his first home.;)

    Very true but they don't always appreciate it till a lot later in life.
  • Guinea_2Guinea_2 Forumite
    505 Posts
    jem16 wrote:
    Thanks everybody.

    I don't need the money from him but I want to make sure that he understands he has to pay his own way now he's working. I did like the idea of saving it for him and giving it back to him when he's ready to get somehwere of his own. However I wasn't sure if it was best to get him to save the money or for me to save it for him.

    I would have to say no to this idea of saving the money for him at a later date. It looks like your son is a clever chap, especially as he is starting a graduate programme soon. When I left uni I didn't go into a graduate programme but just into accounting. I was earning approximately £14,000 a year and I started giving Mum and Dad (who didn't need the money) £120 a month, until I got a pay rise and I think just before I left home last year I was paying £150 a month. I can see in some cases that it would be a good idea to save the money for some less paid children who live at home but I would say that in most cases it is a big fat no. Surely children need to stand on their own two feet to be able to understand that almost nothing is given to you in life so you have to work for it. :D
    :love: Baby Bump born 4th March 2010! :kisses:
  • Just wanted to say how good to teach a son how to manage money. My family did this with me a little but my Oh had to pay nothing. He is now the one who cannot deal with reality.
    How about making a house budget for all costs on a spreadsheet together and make him pay a third of the costs or whatever his part would be. The amount of money is not really the issue. Then when he leaves he can substitute the costs you have at home to his new home. You then do 3 things. Firstly he learns his reponsibilities, secondly you show him how to run a home financially and lastly you can give him the money in a savings account to help buy/rent his new home. I wish someone had taught me to budget when i was a youngster.
    All the best,
    CG:j
    "You can if you think you can."
    George Reeves
  • LondonDivaLondonDiva Forumite
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    stamford wrote:
    One third of his net earnings, save one third and spend the other third
    that's what I did when I first graduated! :D

    I have to say that I never received any cash back from my parents and would think that this defeats the purpose.

    It costs to have another adult in the house to feed & maintain & all those capable should contribute by a combination of paying 'keep', house work or whatever is agreed.

    I have friends who refused to save because the £25:rolleyes: they were paying a month would be given back to them eventually.

    I would suggest that you and OH put the money aside and use it to get away from home and responsibilities or treat yourselves :)
    "This is a forum - not a support group. We do not "owe" anyone unconditional acceptance of their opinions."
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