Adult son starting 1st job - how much should he pay(staying at home)

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  • jem16jem16 Forumite
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    Thank you everyone for the very useful opinions and pointers.

    We have already discussed the household bills. I asked him to guess what he thought they were first. In most cases he actually thought they were more expensive than they were apart from the Council Tax which he hugely underestimated. As for the total he was only about £50 higher.

    We'll do this again nearer the time he starts and hopefully come to an agreement.

    If I do decide to save some for him, I will not let him know in advance. I will also expect to see him saving for a house deposit too. I know that he wants his own place but is sensible enough to know he can't afford it just yet.

    In Scotland most children stay at home whilst at university - only a minority go elsewhere. All of my sons' friends are staying at home apart from 1 who finished last year and has just recently moved into a flat with his girlfriend.
  • AstarothAstaroth Forumite
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    jem16 wrote:
    In Scotland most children stay at home whilst at university - only a minority go elsewhere. All of my sons' friends are staying at home apart from 1 who finished last year and has just recently moved into a flat with his girlfriend.

    I would have to say that my experience was different - I went to Dundee university and of all the people there I only knew of 2 who still lived at home and then one of those moved out after 1st year as he "came out" and it wasnt "suitable" for him to stay at home.

    All the rest of the student I knew who were actually from scotland all lived in halls or their own rented accomodation - things may have changed since my day but I only left uni 5 years ago
    All posts made are simply my own opinions and are neither professional advice nor the opinions of my employers
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  • jem16jem16 Forumite
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    Perhaps it depends on the area.

    Certainly here in Glasgow very few live away. Some do go to other universities if the Glasgow ones do not offer the course they are looking for. Obviously then they would live away from home.
  • Good parents teach 'teh' kids how to spell correctly...

    My brother was never told he was going to get some of his rent back, infact I think it defeats the purpose if you tell them in advance. Really, I think if your parents don't need the money, taking lots of rent without holding some back for their future is mean.

    It's not very cheap being a young person, you might be leaving university in 15-20K of debt, your pay won't reflect the cost of housing and the last thing you need is heavy rent.

    oh im sorry are you the special person who can teach a dyslexic/dyspraxic how to spell and type perfectly? youll make a fortune with that- oooh please tell your secrets or maybe dont rip into people when you don't know all of teh facts eh?

    and its not mean to stop wiping your kids a*ses when they become grown-ups, once youre 18 youre an adult, youre responible for yourself, and that includes financially. if my rents offered me money id never in a million years take it off them, my flat and my finances are my business and nowt to do with them.

    im a student and i have student debts but i also have an ISA for a deposit on a flat once a graduate, im good with my money and teh only debts i have are the student loan, absolutely no overdraft or credit cards. if peopel spend too much and dont save enough to afford a house it tough luck its not their mummy and daddys problem nor is it their duty to sort it out. youre obvously some pampered mummys boy who still gets bathed once a week. (oh and calling someone with learning difficulties for their spelling and typing tahts proper low dont you think?)
    :T The best things in life are FREE! :T
  • glenstanglenstan Forumite
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    i put a charge of 1/4 of wage for board and unbeknown to d.d. opened a savings account for her, to help when she got married.all of the money she paid was going into this, how else was i able to teach her how much it cost to help run a home? the savings account acquired 3 payments then she thought she would be better off lodging with a friend. d.d. soon realized where she was better off. Now she is running her own home along with partner and realizes the cost of overheads she will not hesitate to tell, she wished she had stayed at home when she was single, d.d. monitors money and does not buy anything until she has saved for it, so it is a lesson learned
    :hello:What goes around - comes around
    give lots and you will always recieve lots
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Forumite
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    'The' is spelt T-H-E. Don't worry, the next version of Firefox will include a built in spell checker.

    I'm quite self-sufficient thanks, have been for a number of years since leaving home after uni. Because of my my parents help, my little bro is just finishing his MRes and has recently been acceptted at Oxford for a clinical doctorate course. They didn't pay for all of it, just gave him a years rent back towards his fees so he didn't struggle too much. Silly !!!!!! then got 3 jobs so he could leave with no debt.

    There's nothing wrong with your family helping you out if they can, as long as you never expect it from them
  • slobberyslobbery Forumite
    133 Posts
    My daughter is 19. When she started work I sat down and worked out all the household expenses and then divided them by the number of people living in the house. Her share works out at approx £30 week so that what she pays.
  • C_RonaldoC_Ronaldo Forumite
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    how about a third for rent
    a third for himself
    a third for savings
    No Links in Signature by site rules - MSE Forum Team 2
  • 'The' is spelt T-H-E. Don't worry, the next version of Firefox will include a built in spell checker.

    I'm quite self-sufficient thanks, have been for a number of years since leaving home after uni. Because of my my parents help, my little bro is just finishing his MRes and has recently been acceptted at Oxford for a clinical doctorate course. They didn't pay for all of it, just gave him a years rent back towards his fees so he didn't struggle too much. Silly !!!!!! then got 3 jobs so he could leave with no debt.

    There's nothing wrong with your family helping you out if they can, as long as you never expect it from them

    i know how it is spelt, but look at your keyboard, waht comes first out of 'h' and 'e'? when im typing, my mind thinks faster than my hands can work so i make mistakes and when im typing on a forum it doesnt matter if its spelt wrong as long as you can understand it does it really? ive not got enough time in my life to spell check everything, maybe you have? (btw youre still mocking a learning difficulty- very very sad indeed) and whilst were correcting each others posts, thats not how you spell 'accepted', youre throwing stones there in your wee glass house! i still think giving grown-up children money is wierd and kinda sad and you shouldnt choose to live with mummy and daddy as a way of getting away with a cheap and easy lifestyle. most peopel i know pay unrealistic rents, like £30 a week including all bills and food and their washing done for them, where in teh real world can you live for that? and getting it all back anyway is super-sad, it teaches you taht whatever happens, however much cash you squander, what ever silly situation you get yourself into by being an idiot with money, mam and dad will sort you out, you might as well be still breatfeeding or have kept that umbillical cord attatched! my oh's next door neighbour is 40 and still lives at home, hes got a degree too, bet his parents did taht stupid rent back thing.
    :T The best things in life are FREE! :T
  • ChurchmouseChurchmouse Forumite
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    Every family is different and it ill behoves people to abuse other people for their wanting to conduct themselves in different ways.

    Freebie-junkie I'm afraid I find you somewhat aggressive in your attitude to anyone who doesn't live by your ideals, and very insulting and offensive.

    When I started work I paid about one third of my take-home pay to my mum for my keep. She never breastfed me as a baby so certainly wasn't doing it then!!! I did all my own laundry and took my share of household chores. We were a family that loved each other and the arrangement worked for all concerned. When I left home my mother refused to accept my final month's keep and wanted me to have it for my new home.

    I have had four sons. The fourth son graduated from uni just over a week ago. When he starts work we'll work out what is reasonable for him to contribute. He's worked throughout getting his degree, but having lived away has an O/D as well as student loans. Maybe it's a LOT cheaper to live in Manchester, but if he wanted to eat there is no way he could save into an ISA. Maybe because he has never had a penny towards tuition fees or anything else from the government??

    The latest age I wiped any of their ar*es was aged about 3.

    Who are you to dictate the value of a gift that a parent may give their child, adult or not?

    I'd love to win the lottery and be able to help my adult children, that's what parental love does. You would prefer I hogged it all to myself and said b*gger you this is mine!!

    I think you'll find most posters who advocate giving some of the "keep" back are saying they really have no need of the money and will NOT be telling the kids so it'll be a nice surprise when it happens. The "kids" will have been saving themselves for their own place etc.
    You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
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