Adult son starting 1st job - how much should he pay(staying at home)

135678

Replies

  • I've just had this discussion with my friend and she thinks its disgusting that parents take money from their children/adults once they start work. She told me we bring the child into the world we should pay for them until they leave home. She never paid any housekeeping whilst staying with her parents and thinks its wrong for parents to ask their children to do so. Glad Im not only one who thinks they should pay - so might show her this thread.

    im only 22 and i hold the opposite view to your friend, in fact i think teh idea of saving some of teh keep and giving it back is disgusting, do landlords and mortgage providers do this? running a household is really difficult, peopel need to learn its not fun and games, giving half back is making it like a game imo. btw i dont live with my parents (i hate that 'do you live at home?' 'well duh of course i do but that doesnt mean i live with my mum and dad!') and noone at uni seems to understand this, i keep getting asked about where i live during the holidays and my parents even had to fill in their financil details on my student loan application (apparently you have to live on your own for 3 years- i missed teh cut-off by a few blooming months!) which drives me nuts, i blame all the kiddults who live with mummy and daddy till theyre 30 paying only £100 pm eventhough theyre on 20 grand and get half of it back anyway. theyre called kipperrs- kids in parents pockets eating retirement revenue- hehe! :)
    :T The best things in life are FREE! :T
  • Just wanted to say how good to teach a son how to manage money. My family did this with me a little but my Oh had to pay nothing. He is now the one who cannot deal with reality.
    How about making a house budget for all costs on a spreadsheet together and make him pay a third of the costs or whatever his part would be. The amount of money is not really the issue. Then when he leaves he can substitute the costs you have at home to his new home. You then do 3 things. Firstly he learns his reponsibilities, secondly you show him how to run a home financially and lastly you can give him the money in a savings account to help buy/rent his new home. I wish someone had taught me to budget when i was a youngster.
    All the best,
    CG:j

    how is giving teh money back teaching him to budget? back in teh real world people have savings accounts to save up for house deposists, not magic 'mummy and daddy' accounts. please!
    :T The best things in life are FREE! :T
  • I was suggesting or rather agreeing with the OP about saving up the rent to put on a deposit. Many parents do this. At least it would be a fixed sum not just any amount required. Getting on the housing ladder isn't easy as we all know. Sometimes raising a rental deposit isn't easy either.
    The ability to use abudget is separate to this. Saving for a deposit is perhaps something for them to put on to his own budget.
    CG.
    "You can if you think you can."
    George Reeves
  • I was suggesting or rather agreeing with the OP about saving up the rent to put on a deposit. Many parents do this. At least it would be a fixed sum not just any amount required. Getting on the housing ladder isn't easy as we all know. Sometimes raising a rental deposit isn't easy either.
    The ability to use abudget is separate to this. Saving for a deposit is perhaps something for them to put on to his own budget.
    CG.

    just becase many parents do it doesnt make it right, teh idea with being an adult is that you look after yourself not run crying to your parents that 'sniff...houses are really really really expensive...sniff'
    :T The best things in life are FREE! :T
  • jem16jem16 Forumite
    19.1K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    LondonDiva wrote:
    that's what I did when I first graduated! :D

    I have to say that I never received any cash back from my parents and would think that this defeats the purpose.

    No neither did I.
    It costs to have another adult in the house to feed & maintain & all those capable should contribute by a combination of paying 'keep', house work or whatever is agreed.

    I have friends who refused to save because the £25:rolleyes: they were paying a month would be given back to them eventually.

    I think I would only give some if he had also put some away himself.
  • jem16jem16 Forumite
    19.1K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    just becase many parents do it doesnt make it right, teh idea with being an adult is that you look after yourself not run crying to your parents that 'sniff...houses are really really really expensive...sniff'

    Nor does it make it wrong to help out.

    IMO being part of a family is about helping each other when you can in whatever way you can.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Forumite
    0 Posts
    Holiday Haggler
    MoneySaving Newbie
    Good parents teach 'teh' kids how to spell correctly...

    My brother was never told he was going to get some of his rent back, infact I think it defeats the purpose if you tell them in advance. Really, I think if your parents don't need the money, taking lots of rent without holding some back for their future is mean.

    It's not very cheap being a young person, you might be leaving university in 15-20K of debt, your pay won't reflect the cost of housing and the last thing you need is heavy rent.
  • AstarothAstaroth Forumite
    5.4K Posts
    ✭✭✭✭
    When I first started working I had to give my mother 1/2 of my salary for living costs... when I first started and was earning about £9,000 pa this wasnt too bad but due to luck/ hard work my salary quickly jumped to just under £30,000 and I then argued with my mother over the money I was giving her as 1) I owned the house (but there was no mortgage on it) 2) If I was there more than 1 night a week it was unusual

    I eventually agreed a fixed amount with her rather than a percentage of the salary otherwise there was less incentive to actually do things like overtime or pushing for promotion as you immediately had to write of 30% in tax and then 50% to mother ment that I got very little of it.

    I dont think that kids should live at home after they have left school (and I dont count university as "school"). Whilst parents shouldnt force the kids out they should certainly start educating them on the cost of living and the rent they charge should be a true reflection of all costs
    All posts made are simply my own opinions and are neither professional advice nor the opinions of my employers
    No Advertising or Links in Signatures by Site Rules - MSE Forum Team 2
  • Scarlett1Scarlett1 Forumite
    6.9K Posts
    My brother was never told he was going to get some of his rent back, infact I think it defeats the purpose if you tell them in advance. Really, I think if your parents don't need the money, taking lots of rent without holding some back for their future is mean.
    When I first started work in 1988 I paid my parents £80 per MONTH which I thought was fair as my parents could have taken more but they didnt, but my friend had to pay her parents £40 per WEEK :eek:
  • Baileys_BabeBaileys_Babe Forumite
    4.4K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    ✭✭✭✭
    To me the important thing would be for the young person to realise the cost of living, by going through the household costs with them (rent, utilities etc)this will make them aware how expensive it is. Between both you you can then work out a rent they can afford & is exceptable to you. It may also be worth mentioning that when renting properties they need a deposit, so they need to be saving for it.

    The rent you receive is yours, feel happy to spend it, on yourself. If you do deceide to save some to return to them later do not let them know, otherwise this may discourage them from saving for themselves.

    Sorry for the ramble.
    2021 Fashion on a ration 66/66 coupons remaining 

    One income, home educating family 
This discussion has been closed.
Latest MSE News and Guides