Am I being taken for a ride?

Errata

I have a dreadful feeling that the Facebook twaddle will be the least of Carole's problems.

paddy's_mum

Oh crikey, christmas carole! My comment about the expensive motorbike was a shot in the dark and not referring to you in any way. I don't know you and I'm not stalking you, honest!

It's just that so often a shiney new, super-dooper, look-at-me-chaps motorbike is the one thing that these immature little boys choose to go into debt for. I still hold a full bike license myself but I've always thought that with guys it's a case of the flashier the bike, the more dull and inadequate the pecker.:D

SugarSpun

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I'm trying not to judge here, but I just wonder why so many women seem to take on men with debt?
You see it all the time on here, mostly when they start having problems and that's usually over money.

Is it that they are very good looking or something, so you go all weak at the knees and give in to their charm?

I wouldn't want to take on a woman with debt, but I suspect if I met one and thought I fell in love, I might overlook it and have rose tinted glasses on. I might have answered my own question.

I think part of it is that the money conversations tend to occur when the relationship's already serious, so you don't necessarily know there's debt till you're already in love. And for the conman type men in debt they put on a good show.

My husband married a woman with £8k of debt, which doesn't sound that much but it was a serious worry for me. I spent it on getting a PhD, though, not on crap, and my earnings potential is better as a result. I'm very glad he chose not to run away from me and my debts, especially now they're paid off and we're free to save for our future.

I was always very open about it though - I'd have one drink over several hours because I didn't want to spend the money, stuff like that. He knew well in advance.

Edit: OP if everyone says you don't look yourself, is there scope for going home sick today and using the afternoon to sort out the bank and put a note of dissociation on your credit rating? I'd also do a check and make sure there's no other loan been taken out in your name. Also, and this might be a bit impertinent, if you have reason to suspect your ex was cheating an STD test might be in order just in case.

*Louise*

Just wanted to add a comment about the joint account:

I don't know wat bank you are with, and it may be different, but when OH and I got our joint account a few years back, we were told it couldn't be reverted back to a single account. It would have to be closed and two new accounts opened. So it won't be as easy as just taking your name off, the O/D will need to be repaid first.

Phoning and feeezing the account needs to be your TOP priority - what's to stop him phoning up and extending the O/D??

Lotus-eater

Thanks for all your different thoughts on debt, obviously it isn't as cut and dried as I had thought.
It depends on the type of debt and how far into the relationship you are.

I have been with someone who had debt, by the by, it was a long time ago and I found out pretty close to the start of the relationship, but it was because of a negative equity problem, so not overspending.
If I were to start looking again for a partner, being good with money would be up there at the top of the list, when I was 20, it wouldn't have even been on the list.

euronorris

flossyblog wrote: »

I don't agree that someone should pay less because they earn less.

I think this really depends on the couple.

If one of you earns more than the other, and therefore insists on living in a larger place, or in a nicer (more expensive) place, then I think it's only fair that that person pays a larger share of the rent and bills.

The only other issue is if one of you has so much debt that they can't afford to split the bills equally. Although, in that instance, I wouldn't want to live with such a person until they had gotten on top of their finances.

I agree with the rest of your post though.

Oh, and I do split the bills equally with my OH AND repay my debts at the same time. Just in case anyone thought I was biased on the subject.

Zazen999

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Thanks for all your different thoughts on debt, obviously it isn't as cut and dried as I had thought.
It depends on the type of debt and how far into the relationship you are.

I have been with someone who had debt, by the by, it was a long time ago and I found out pretty close to the start of the relationship, but it was because of a negative equity problem, so not overspending.
If I were to start looking again for a partner, being good with money would be up there at the top of the list, when I was 20, it wouldn't have even been on the list.

At 20, I didn't even have a list. :eek:

mistrihelen

Also (with regards to paying equal amounts even if one partner earns less), sometimes one person earns less because of the way the relationship is set up. Eg stay-at-home-mums/dads. Or I have had to restart my career twice because of my husband's job moves. I earn less as a result, and he pays more bills. Seems fair enough to me. If we'd stayed in one place to support my career (I didn't mind the moving, btw), it'd probably be the other way around.

Lotus-eater

Zazen999 wrote: »

At 20, I didn't even have a list. :eek:

No standards at all?
:rotfl:

Most of mine began with B to be fair.