How many of you blame you OH for just being 'men'?!

gabyjane

Ok probably the biggest thing me and dh argue about is his ways around the house, never does he fail to amaze me how annoyingly lazy he is at times. Me and my friend were discussing this the other day and she said 'oh they are all the same..just a man thing'..i don't agree and i'll tell you why.

This morning as an example i have come downstairs and found the following:

• 2 blankets on the sofa thrown either on the floor or just screwed up where he had been sat
• The coffee jar in the middle of the worktop with lid off and dirty spoon next to it
• The washing has been piled high on the airer..i have no idea how the clothes are supposed to ever dry left like they are..not to mention they are going to be so creased i will spend hours doing that.
• His rubbish all over the desk, cigarette papers, sweet wrappers, wires left out, dirty mug
• Clothes all over the floor in the bedroom from last night

I could go on but am really tired of it. To me they are small things yet they make my life a pain in the bum as seem to be running round after him all the time doing stupid little things..i try to bite my tongue and not say anything as get a sarcastic reply or he gets in a mood and does it..who knows how he will react..
His clothes i have taken to not washing anymore to which i know he is finding a pain as the washing basket is piled high with just his stuff!
The rest id'e love to leave but work from home and if any of my parents walked in and saw the mess id'e be so embarrased.,plus the thing that REALLY annoys me is he does know how to tidy as will do when friends come round and his clothes for going policing are 'sacred' and he gets in a mood if i move them from their place..sigh

Making him out to be awful and he's not just..lazy! so is your bloke just a man or expects you to be a slave?

Person_one

gabyjane wrote: »

i try to bite my tongue and not say anything as get a sarcastic reply or he gets in a mood and does it..who knows how he will react..

This doesn't sound good at all, are you scared of him? Will he shout and yell? Do you feel threatened?

Making him out to be awful and he's not just..lazy! so is your bloke just a man or expects you to be a slave?

Your OH needs to wake up and realise that its not 1950 anymore! Women don't have a 'housework slave' gene that men lack. He's perfectly capable of taking care of himself and why shouldn't he?

Do you work or take care of children?

Edited to answer your question: My partner is exactly that. We share the domestic chores pretty equally, there's no rota or anything but he understands that it is his home and his mess just as much as it is mine. We both wash what we wear and neither of us have the arrogance and lack of consideration to think that if we just leave mess and dirt lying around the other one will deal with it.

I'm not trying to brag or anything! He lived alone for a while before moving in with me which I'm sure helped but equality is a massive deal with me and I never would have moved in if he'd been any different.

Treacly

Sorry - but not all men are like this, and by saying 'they're all the same', women are giving them a free pass. My OH does pretty much all the housework apart from the laundry (yes girls, shopping, cooking, washing up, putting away, cleaning, putting rubbish out, etc etc - not to mention all the DIY) and I get a cup of tea brought to me in bed every morning and a packed lunch made for me every day. Don't settle for less!

Nikkisun

I have every sympathy for you - you appear to be married to my Husband!

red_devil

my fellas lovely, if your oh wasnt around anymore you would soon miss him?

LJM

i have to agree with Treacly my OH does loads around house for me and girls he cooks cleans etc i found a good one

nzmegs

Sorry but i have to say i am the untidy one in my household. My husband picks up everything which he leaves around the house, but nothing which belongs to anyone else. he, quite rightly, expects everyone to pick up after themselves and aims to set the example. Sometimes this really winds me up because how hard would it be for him to pick up my washing while he is taking his own.

He even does all his own washing and drying. Cooks all the meals and cleans the kitchen after and works full time. I work from home and seem to spend loads of time just clearing up after myself so he doesn't get annoyed with me. But no matter how hard I try I never quite do it as well as he can.

Essentially I admit I am quite lazy and not interested in housework and perhaps you have to admit that some people are just like that. yes when i get the cleaning bug I can make a very good job of it, but the day to day stuff just leaves me bored. I always think I will do it later and I ususally do but just not as quick as my husband would like.

I suggest you leave your husbands mess around the house for a couple of days. Don't nag him about it or even mention it. See how long it takes for the penny to drop that he is responsible. it isn't a full proof method, but it has worked for me. I am many times tidier than I used to be. Not quite at perfection yet, but still trying.

starbump

My hubby is very messy too. He does help/offer to help with chores but I'd rather do most of them myself as I like things done immediately and I prefer my way of doing things.

Some people (of either sex) are just messy and you have to accept that. Nobody is perfect. But, yes, it does drive me crazy because all these little things do make tidying up (for my sake) much more time consuming!

Treacly

I think there's a difference between being a bit messy, and expecting your partner to constantly clear up after you - that's not laziness - that's contempt!

Lotus-eater

I'm really messy, I'm a man!

Just reinforcing the stereotype.

Ivrytwr3

I go to work and work very hard. I sacrifice a lot for my family so they can have a nice lifestyle.

So if i sometimes forget to put the lid on the coffee jar, or don't IMMEDIATELY put away a few blankets i had used, or if i want to drop my Y-fronts on the bathroom floor, or if i want to walk around around the house in my pants or make a cup of coffee first thing in the morning with the curtains wide open, wearing either:

a. pants
b. no pants

I bloody well will.