Problem with a work colleague!

kittiej

Thanks for that info butterfly.

I can speak to my bosses with no problems - it's just this person, I'm not the only one to be careful what they say to her.

Thanks everyone for your comments

kittiej

I couldn't do the cement thing lol.

I could let her get in and say if she feels like she's sitting on something damp that the dog had an accident? - (which she did, but not in my car thankfully)

Zazen999

You don't have to say anything, just go to work tomorrow and go home again without saying anything at all. If she asks you just say you aren't sure if you are going straight home....or aren't sure what time you are leaving in the morning so can't be relied on.....sorry.

kittiej

I think that's a good idea Zazen, I find myself trying to avoid having a conversation with her now in case she asks for a lift which is awkward seeing as though it's an open office and she sits almost opposite to me.

I think I have to tell myself that she has created this and I shouldn't feel bad for saying no.

Zazen999

kittiej wrote: »

I think that's a good idea Zazen, I find myself trying to avoid having a conversation with her now in case she asks for a lift which is awkward seeing as though it's an open office and she sits almost opposite to me.

I think I have to tell myself that she has created this and I shouldn't feel bad for saying no.

If it helps - you can say you are hoping to pop in and see me; and I'm a bit of a talker once I get going......or substitute any of the names on here!!! Just be vague and mysterious...

bestpud

Ok, my honest opinion is you are being mean, but I also know I'd feel the same way! It's the way she has gone about it that makes me feel a bit irritated on your behalf.

Sooo, if you don't want to offer a lift full stop then you are going to have to tell her no, politely but firmly.

If you are prepared to give her a lift so long as she contributes then you can ask something along the lines of 'your OH can't always pick you up and I could do with saving some money, so how about we car share? I estimate the cost to be £x a week so shall we go halves?'

The downside of her paying you, apart from losing your 'me' time, is you may feel obliged to hang on for her if she is running late, or change your plans so you can make sure she gets home etc... Sometimes it is easier not to be paid!

kittiej

That's OK bestpud, honesty's good. Yes it's the way she expects me to give her a lift anytime she wants.

I would be grateful for the help with diesel but time to myself is more important. I don't mean that in a selfish way, it's a sanity thing

KK22_2

I was in a similar predicament recently. I started a new job last month and a girl in work (who lives 10 mins drive away from me) asked if i could drop her somewhere near her house which was on my usual road home. I didn't think this was an issue at all until she proceeded to direct me straight to her door, as opposed to the road on my route home. Since i thought it was a one off thing, i thought nothing more of it.

She then told me that she would need a lift into work and from work everyday!!! I told her from that start that i couldn't do it everyday but i hated lying or making up excuses. She knew i was in a rubbish position as i didnt want to be known as "the one that didn't drive katie home" when it was my first week in a new job! She never once offered to contribute to petrol costs, despite the fact that she was saving £40 a week! I soon rediscovered my love of attending the gym 5 nights a week and she soon got the hint!

Good luck with this as i know it's a difficult situation. I think you'll just need to talk to her on the drive home one night. Perhaps say something along the lines of "Hopefully you'll be ok making your own way home from work now as i'm not going to be able to do it anymore". If she asks you why, telling her to stop being so flippin nosy!

jakem_2

If you really cant face her and tell her outright, and reading between the lines I get the impression she is a domineering person, then do what others suggested.Say your going to a friends, or an evening class, or a store, but do this on different nights of the weeks, (if it goes into weeks) then she wont know where she is, she wont be able to say to herself, well, kitt goes to class monday, friends wednesday, shopping friday, so I know I can get a lift tues and friday.Turn your radio one, put on some trance music, that will push her over the edge lol, roll the windows down so the cold air hits her.What would annoy me is the fact she has presummed your going to give her lifts, and had the cheek to tell others, for that alone I would tell her to eff off, but I do understand to have to work with this person so you need to handle it carefully.So really you either need to lie your head off and say you have other things planned, or tell her straight.

lostinrates

TBH, I'd drive her but say some like ''If I'm going to do this regularly I think we should come to an arrangement where we share petrol costs''.


I'd do it because fuel is expensive, and a contribution to it that made a difference to family income is not to be sniffed at. I'd also do t because its the ''green'' option where driving is concerned and also because it keeps traffic lower.

I did car share with a girl I didn't like for a while at college. It was ok...tolerable. (much more tolerable when I was driving though). I like my alone car time too, a lot, but there are too mny reasons to share rather than not...but only for a fair petrol contribution.