Husband not invited to wedding, help!

snapping_crocodile

kittiej wrote: »

I didn't have any sacrifices to make as I moved 300 miles to be here. It's clicking now, you must all have friends that you've known for years etc so why don't you know their OH's as well?

I don't mind the husbands of those I have invited to attend, why would I when they are married? It would be bad mannered of me not to. If they don't wish to come then they can say no. It doesn't bother me really. I just wanted it to be us and 2 witnesses but OH didn't so I have respected his wishes.

Every wedding I've ever been to has had husbands as well as wives, I don't see what is so odd about that?

I think the bit that people find odd is inviting complete strangers to such a personal (and not to mention expensive occassion!) I have friends that I have known for years, but I don't know their OH's because I have moved away from where I grew up, as well as friends who I haven't known for that long and don't yet know their OH's. Equally some older and newer friends, I do know their OH's. I don't think it has anything to do with how long you have known someone, it is whether you know their OH. Every wedding I have been to has also had both husbands and wives, but they are both know by the bride or groom. So we again revert back to the idea of not many wanting to invite complete starmgers to their bog day *shrugs*

superfran_uk

kittiej wrote: »

I don't mind the husbands of those I have invited to attend, why would I when they are married?

Just because your friend likes their husband enough to marry them, doesn't mean they are a nice or even a bearable person. That's a stupid argument!

I do like most of my friends' boyfriends/husbands. The ones I am close to are coming to the wedding.

However, when I visit (I live about an hour away from where I grew up) I do so to see them, not their other half and If we go out it's nice to have a girly gossip and a catch up without them there. Most men tend not to want to be party to shopping, or drinking cocktails and putting the world to rights. Nothing odd about that at all. Naturally it means that my friendships are strongest with them, and not with their other halves.

In fact, let's not be sexist, same goes for my male friends who's girlfriends are not invited.

kittiej

Oh no something else my life is lacking, shopping and drinking cocktails lol.

Well if my sil2b whom I cannot bear has to attend, then maybe the stranger, (well my bank manager to be precise) is a safer bet lol.

superfran_uk

I'm sorry, but if you have no friends then perhaps your life is lacking? I wouldn't usually be so rude on a forum like this where people are after help and advice, but you have been so consistently throughout this thread to many of us.

No one who knows me has or would ever question my commitment to my husband to be despite the fact that I have friends and like to have fun without my OH once in a while.

kittiej

How are you being rude? my life is too busy to be lacking, not everyone in the world needs friends.

You made me laugh superfran, thanks. I did notice I perhaps hit a nerve though, but nobody apart from mrcow, eventually, has said yes kittiej, I suppose there are other points of view to consider other than the way we think and that maybe there are people who don't agree with spending the night away from their partners etc.

This is why I'm interested in your point of view because it's the other side of the coin if you like. I just wish people would not get so carried away with trying to attack me personally and explain what they think. Personal attacks get in the way of discussions, well I think so anyway.

Actually, thinking about it, every household in my street, apart from the older people in the bungalows live their lives like this. It must be this area or something.

snapping_crocodile

kittiej wrote: »

How are you being rude? my life is too busy to be lacking, not everyone in the world needs friends.

You made me laugh superfan, thanks.

Well I am afraid you are in the very small minority with regards to friends. How is your life so busy that you do not have time to allow friends in to enrich your life and experiences? :cool:

How do you know no one else in your street has valued friendships?

Snippa

This thread reminds me why I'm never having a wedding If I ever get married, it'll be be running away and doing it on holiday with a couple of witnesses grabbed off the street! Either that or a very small close friends and family only.

All the "ettiquette" and offending people is just not worth the hassle. For what it's worth though, if a friend invited me to their wedding, I'd never expect it would extend to a partner. If my partner also knew my friend, or if I wasn't going to know anyone else at the wedding, then I'd expect them to be included in the invite. But work colleagues are that bit removed, and presumably coming as a group. If one of your colleagues is generous enough to extend a wedding invitiation that far - they're bloody expensive - you should accept greatfully, and have a good night out with your colleagues. If you really can't do that without your partner, make a good excuse rather than making the bride feel guilty or embarassed. She'll have had all the hassle, expense and offense from family and closer friends - surely that's enough?

superfran_uk

snapping_crocodile wrote: »

How do you know no one else in your street has valued friendships?

Presumably she listens in to all of their phone calls and knows all the emails they send and follows them when they leave the house!

What a funny thing to say! Anyway, moving on...

kittiej

Not the friendships, the spending all their time with their OH's! I'm too busy to be a nosey neighbour, I work full time for a start.

What an odd thing to think. I just don't think you like anything or anyone that's different to you, that's how it's coming across. Hmm

shellsuit

Kittie, how do you know how everyone's relationships run, who live in your street, if you work full time?!

Can I just say, I don't think it's healthy to stay tied to your OH day in day out, every single day and night of your life.

What would you do, if God forbid, he had an affair with someone else ~ and then you find yourself lonely as you have no friends?