Husband not invited to wedding, help!

jillymit

Sorry if this is posted in the wrong place but I wanted to get others opinion.

I have been invited to a work colleagues wedding along with two others but my DH has not.(we've all been asked without partners)

Although the invite was clearly just for me I did broach the subject,privately with the bride to enquire whether there may be a chance he could attend the evening do, which was a little embarrassing I admit but I felt I knew her well enough to ask.:o
She said she was a bit pushed for numbers so at the moment she couldn't do it but she's let me know if she had cancellations nearer the time. Fair enough!

I would love to go despite the lack of invite for DH and it's been suggested by one of the others that we make it a girls night, stop over have a great time etc. all good so far but......
My husband said he couldn't believe he wasn't invited and if the roles were reversed he wouldn't dream of going without me!
I feel awful now, I love weddings, really want to go, get on really well with the bride, he's only met her once and I didn't think it was that big of a deal but now I'm not sure what to do.
Accept - Good friend, rubbish wife.
Decline - Good wife, rubbish friend. ( but I sooooo want to go!)
Help me someone.:(

geri1965_2

You should go. He doesn't own you!

Surely if you wanted to go, he wouldn't mind that much?

hunnycat

I would accept and tell your husband that he should think about how much it costs, if it was a girly night you were invited to and he wasnt he most probably owuldnt be bothered but just because its a wedding everyone seems to think everyone should go!!

jillie1974

ooh awkward situation but.... who invites a wife and not the husband?? i know they might be running on tight numbers but i would just not have invited work colleagues. not wife and not the husband.

McKneff

What about your oh

Husband - controlling, having a tantrum, bit of jealousy.

Tell him 'okay, i wont go but i'll be hell to live with for the next few weeks.

If the positions were reversed would you do the same to him, or would you say 'that's fine, have a good time dear' (but still be upset but you dont really want to upset him by telling him)

You get yourself gone pet, and have a good time.

mrbadexample

Just explain that you're really disappointed he's not been invited too (and that she's pushed for numbers so it's not personal), but that you feel you must go so as not to let your friend down.

clearing_out_my_pockets

It doesn't make you a crap wife - it makes you a wife who has aquaintances (sp?) outside of your marriage. It makes you your own person... Go to the wedding! It shouldn't have to be a choice.

hunnycat

jillie1974 wrote: »

ooh awkward situation but.... who invites a wife and not the husband?? i know they might be running on tight numbers but i would just not have invited work colleagues. not wife and not the husband.

I have know people invite the aunts and uncles but not thier partners just because numbers are tight so its not unheard of. If numbers are tight you have to cut them somewhere and if thats someones husband who you have only met once then they got to go!!!

Fire_Fox

Have you and your husband considered that this is probably a cost thing and nothing more? Weddings are soooooo expensive and we are in the middle of a recession; to cause the least offence it is best to exclude ALL second cousins/ work colleagues husbands/ neighbours. Your husband will get over it especially if you do something lovely for him, whereas it is the biggest day of your colleague's life - she will know why you have refused and she will probably be upset and embarassed. He won't remember in a few weeks, she may still remember every time she looks at her photographs.

Taadaa

I am sure it is just a cost thing. Does the bride know you both, or just you?

I must admit, last year h2b and I were verbally invited to one of his mate's weddings. Then before they sent the invites, he called h2b and said we are really pushed for numbers - they didn't realise there was a limit - both just playing at being growns up if you ask me. Anyway, the upshot was I was uninvited to the day. H2B told them, both of us or neither.

Slightly different I know, but I do think the bride is putting you in a difficult position. Fair enough re her budget etc, but inviting one hald of a partnership is always going to cause ructions. I personally would have to decline.

SUESMITH_2

a good friend of ours got married in the summer, she is someone i met through work - me and oh were both invited for the full day, but oh is good mates with her oh but he didnt know any of the other partners

she ivited others from work for the evening and specifically said just them cos they were tight on numbers and also the cost factor - i couldnt believe it when half of them came with partners even though they were not invited and had been told so, bride was also upset because they had had to be ruthless with family numbers and then all these people walk in.

personally i would go and leave controlling hubby at home