Husband not invited to wedding, help!

VickyA_2

kittiej wrote: »

Many of those posting on here think it's OK to leave their OH's at home, I don't share this view but it doesn't make it wrong as far as I see.

I dearly love my DH (that's why I'm with him ), but we're not joined at the hip. We have some shared interests and friends, but also some separate ones. If we were invited somewhere where I knew lots of people and DH knew me, then he'd be bored rigid (and wouldn't I know about it :rolleyes: ). At some point we've both been invited as individuals to various "dos" and so we've been able to relax without having to worry about whether the other is having a good time. And the other one has always been on hand to drive at the end of the evening.

candygirl

My school colleague invited me to her wedding and not my then hubby.He wasn't impressed, but I went and had a blast.;):D

PasturesNew

The trouble with weddings is everybody expects to be invited .... everybody AND their dog. But come the venue picking time and there are strict numbers limits imposed and a cost per head for any food provided etc.

The line has to be drawn somewhere ... and people get so giddy-headed when they find out somebody's being married that it all ends up as "yes you can come..." then X months down the line, when the details are being booked, you realise everybody can't come because it can cost not only the £10-25/head per person, BUT, also mean that a venue can't be booked at all as it's now too small.

mrcow

PasturesNew wrote: »

everybody can't come because it can cost not only the £10-25/head per person,

Try £50-£70 per head for many venues!

kittiej

"my then hubby" doesn't sound good lol, it wasn't the night out that did it was it?

Like I said, I don't spend much time with my OH as it is,so taking what I say out of context is a bit misleading Vicky.

Maybe I should just say yes , go out, and don't mind your OH. Then again the OP has to actually live with her OH, the rest of us don't, so it's easy for us to say anything.

At least I'm honest and say that this wouldn't be OK to us, it would be a really big deal for one to be left behind.

I was going to add something about the b2b, but I shall keep my powder dry on that one

snapping_crocodile

I would not be offended if my OH was invited to a wedding and I wasn't or vice versa. In fact last summer my OH was invited to a work colleagues wedding and specifically said no partners because they couldn't afford it. No one had any issues with it. I have met his work colleague on a few occassions, but I don't really know him, and he dosen't really know me. Likewise I have never met his OH. Why should a bride or groom, or the biggest day of their lives be expected to fork out for people they don't know/have never met. With the average cost of the day per head, or even the evening, that could be spent on someone the happy couple do know. You wouldn't walk into a restaurant when having a nice meal out with your family and offer to pay for the meal of a complete stranger, so why should your wedding day be any different? As others have said, if you are unable to go to an event like a wedding without your other half then there is a problem in your relationship (*shrugs*)

kittiej

Who said anything about not being able to go to anything alone?

I have an OH who starts work at 1.30am 6 days a week most weeks, I work from 9.30 am 5 days, when I get home he's asleep, when he's getting up I'm going to bed. That's my situation, we don't have any time to share. I expect that most of you do and that's why you don't mind the hours spent apart. To us it wouldn't be appropriate.

It's a choice to be a partnership and to do things together. That's the definition of a 'couple'. We don't have any problems with our relationship apart from lack of time together so why go out and deprive the relationship from even more time? I take it that you can't speak to strangers and mingle then?

See, this is the funny thing about the folks on MSE, as soon as there's a different point of view it's really frowned upon and comments become personal, like there's something wrong with your relationship, or like another said - there's something wrong with YOU (lol), a lot of people have been upset by this, (not myself, I can't get upset by a computer screen I'm afraid) it must be human nature then to pounce on people who are different, or have different views from the majority.

OP, has the DH come round to the idea yet?

snapping_crocodile

kittiej wrote: »

Who said anything about not being able to go to anything alone?

I have an OH who starts work at 1.30am 6 days a week most weeks, I work from 9.30 am 5 days, when I get home he's asleep, when he's getting up I'm going to bed. That's my situation, we don't have any time to share. I expect that most of you do and that's why you don't mind the hours spent apart. To us it wouldn't be appropriate.

It's a choice to be a partnership and to do things together. That's the definition of a 'couple'. We don't have any problems with our relationship apart from lack of time together so why go out and deprive the relationship from even more time? I take it that you can't speak to strangers and mingle then?

But someone elses wedding is not about you and your OH it is about the bride and groom and who they want to share their day with. I used to work shifts and can sympathise with you not seeing your OH much, but at the same time if you were invited to a wedding, and your OH wasn't would you not sacrifice one day spent with your OH to see your friend on her big once in a lifetime day? I know I certainly would. But that doesn't mean I love my OH any less (*shrugs*). And in which part of my post did i imply i can't speak to strangers and mingle with them? I have no problem with this :cool:

Herbiecat

I wouldn't like it if my OH got invited to a wedding and I wasn't included...I think your hubby has every right to feel put out.

I would never dream of inviting someone to my wedding without their partner, I think its rude.

To me its nothing to do with your hubby being controlling, its just all about being a couple.

I love going out with my mates without my OH, but a wedding a thing to do as a couple.

Thats just my little opinion. xx

kittiej

My sentiments exactly, so I'm not the only one then.

I gave my opinion croc, but because it wasn't popular I just end up having to justify an alternative view. Which is something nobody else has had to do, it's just accepted that it's OK to say go out without your OH OP.

Weddings should be a celebration of the couple getting married , so why would they then ask for other couples to split?