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Husband not invited to wedding, help!
Comments
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jillie1974 wrote: »ooh awkward situation but.... who invites a wife and not the husband?? i know they might be running on tight numbers but i would just not have invited work colleagues. not wife and not the husband.
Me!!!Have you and your husband considered that this is probably a cost thing and nothing more? Weddings are soooooo expensive and we are in the middle of a recession; to cause the least offence it is best to exclude ALL second cousins/ work colleagues husbands/ neighbours. Your husband will get over it especially if you do something lovely for him, whereas it is the biggest day of your colleague's life - she will know why you have refused and she will probably be upset and embarassed. He won't remember in a few weeks, she may still remember every time she looks at her photographs.
I agree completelyIm quite shocked TBH, if I was invited to a wedding with out my "soon to be husband" I wouldnt go just out of principle. If I didnt have enough money to not envite peoples partners then I wouldnt invite them at all, or Id rethink my budget/venue so that I could invite everyone Id wanted to with their partners.
Sorry, thats just the way I see it.
Then IMO you would not be classed as a friend.
The way I see it is that the OP must be special in some way if her presence is wanted on this very special once in a lifetime day!
I want people who are close and special to us at our day, hence why cousins who we don't see are only invited to the evening
For us it is also about cost, we cannot afford to have work collegue partners there nor anyone who doesn't play a part in our everyday life. If work collegues don't want to come because of it then fine, I can spend elsewhere. Their partners are however invited to join them in the evening:heart2: 'Tied the Knot' Saturday 9th October 2010 :heart2::blushing: Member of Diet Club October 2010 Brides and Grooms :blushing:Starting Weight: 14 stone 10.8lbsCurrent Weight: 13 stone 2lbsTotal loss: 21.8lbs :j0 -
I wouldn't mind me and OH being invited on our own to a work collegues wedding.
If a work colleague was getting married, I'd only expect to be invited to the evening anyway.
I'd draw the line though at friends and family getting married, as friends and family should treat us as such and invite us as a couple, whether that be to the whole day, or just the evening.Tank fly boss walk jam nitty gritty...0 -
I was really interested to read this thread as I'm going have exactly the same problem with inviting work colleagues! I work in a dept of around 20, mostly guys. I've worked there for 5 years and some of them I know quite well and I see them far more than certain family members. I mentioned to a couple of them already that we are gonna be stuck with numbers, (plus they have heard me ranting about future father and step-mum in law moaning about the guest list) and that we my have to limit the invite to just them rather than them and their partners. At first they were a bit put out but I just said we'll have to wait and see whether the family that live up north will make the trip. Plus we have had some new people start and then I started thinking can I invite half the dept and not the other half?!? at the moment I am burying my head in the sand!!!!Getting hitched! 23/10/10!! :T
Wedding weight loss so far: 7lb!0 -
Is it a cost or a capacity issue?
If it were cost then I would offer to pay for OH, otherwise I would have to decline the invitation.
I just think it's bad manners to invite one half of a couple to such an event. A works do without partners would be one thing but not a wedding.
I am not as young and as modern as a lot of you here though unfortunately lol.Karma - the consequences of ones acts."It's OK to falter otherwise how will you know what success feels like?"1 debt v 100 days £20000 -
You're married - not joined at the hip. You don't have to attend everything together. If fact, it's a little freaky to consider that you would have to!
I hope you have a really nice time - it sounds like you get on well with your work colleagues - hopefully you should have a good laugh."One day I realised that when you are lying in your grave, it's no good saying, "I was too shy, too frightened."
Because by then you've blown your chances. That's it."0 -
Is it a cost or a capacity issue?
If it were cost then I would offer to pay for OH, otherwise I would have to decline the invitation.
I just think it's bad manners to invite one half of a couple to such an event. A works do without partners would be one thing but not a wedding.
I am not as young and as modern as a lot of you here though unfortunately lol.
LOL Your idea of "manners" is to me completely off the wall. It has nothing to do with age. My parents in their eighties would consider your offer ill-mannered not just the young 'uns.
If you are invited to any event -the polite thin g to do is either accept or decline the invitation offered-it is the height of bad manners to demand your invitation should be amended to suit you better. To offer to pay to get what YOU want-instead of graciously accepting what your hosts are offering you is totally crass and lacking in class. YOU are not important-it's the bride and groom's day and their wishes count not those of people who abuse their offered hospitality.I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole
MSE Florida wedding .....no problem0 -
Oh duchy and your opinion matters to me because?
I thought the b2b was supposed to be approachable, unlike yourself eh.
Fortunately I don't have to feel the need to be popular with my views and that's exactly what I've given, but there you go again, trying to throw insults. lalala
The invitation isn't about me is it? so why the YOU in capitals? coming from someone with such an inflated ego of self importance I think you should stick to the topic my dear.Karma - the consequences of ones acts."It's OK to falter otherwise how will you know what success feels like?"1 debt v 100 days £20000 -
I think if you read the OP the problem is with the OP's husband and not the bride as the OP is quite happy to go to the wedding with her colleagues and without her husband although the bride has said she will look at it again nearer the time. However should she be able to invite just one OH then this would put the OP in an awkward position with her colleagues and is probably going to have a far better time having a girly night out with her pals than having a hubby along who knows no-one.0
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OP you should go to the wedding without your OH. When it comes to wedding invitations it is quite common for people to be invited without their partners especially if the bridal couple are on a limited budget or don't know or socialise with the partners of their friends.
OP - have a great time and your OH can have a day out with his mates.
Jemstar - when it comes to your invitations, invite the guys in your department that you socialise with and not the others to the actual wedding but maybe invite the others to the evening shindig and not the ceremony itself.0 -
Yes I did notice the husband is miffed, but OP must have felt 'something' to have privately asked the b2b if her husband could attend in the evening.
Many of those posting on here think it's OK to leave their OH's at home, I don't share this view but it doesn't make it wrong as far as I see.
Having said that, my OH and myself don't spend half as much time together as we would like. I might think differently if we both worked 9 to 5 and spent plenty of time together. It's all about the situation.
I'm sure the OP will do what she thinks best,I just think she feels bad about her husband not being invited and needs to know it's OK to go alone.
From the b2b perspective, I still think it's bad, just look at the dilema she's put the OP in. Again, that's my view and before anyone in particular jumps in, no 2 people are the same are they?Karma - the consequences of ones acts."It's OK to falter otherwise how will you know what success feels like?"1 debt v 100 days £20000
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