Some advice needed

Stephb1986_2

paddy's_mum wrote: »

In your shoes, I'd be most concerned about what hold the father has over the son to be able to persuade him to commit financial suicide.

I totally agree with you I don't know what the hold is at all but I will have to find out. My OH has to move on with his own life without his dad (not that he won't be part of our lives) I just don't want him living with us.

I feel like I'm being the unreasonable one in all this

paddy's_mum

See the opening line of my post number 80!

I was once in a similar situation and would not be put off the scent until I had all the answers I needed to make a clear, informed assessment for the welfare of nobody but myself.

At the end of the day, it's not the concerns or feelings of anyone else that matter here (not me, not the fil2b, or his ex-wife, or their daughter, or your pastor or the neighbourhood watch chap, or Uncle Tom Cobley). It's you that needs to know what the score is, how it came to be, where it's going, and in my view, you are absolutely entitled to that knowledge.

If I was planning to marry and have babies with a chap with some kind of dystrophy in his family, how am I wrong in asking if the illness is hereditary and please can I have the reassurance of consulting a specialist in genetics.

It's your life that gets pooped on from a great height if this all goes belly up and 'being nasty' or 'a cow' is nothing whatever to do with it. Good luck.

JBD

Presumably the son thought he was going to gain financially from the transaction. After all ,if his sole motive was in helping his Dad out then he could have simply moved into the house [which he did anyway] and took over some or all of the rent and helped his Dad to sort out some of his debts. Of course he didn't take into account that he would meet a girl who might not have been happy there. So now he has tied himself into a mortgage.
Sorry, I for one am not buying into this picture of bad old Daddy tricking his devoted, but naive son, into this situation. If solicitors were not involved at the outset then doesn't this suggest it was a dodgy situation to start with?

Stephb1986_2

I don't think my OH had thought this through when he first decided to buy the house don't forget he was only 21 are you suggesting that you wern't naive when you was 21?? Once my OH cracked a joke to his dad about kicking him out and he had a right wobble saying well I won't be siging the house over then. It was only a joke yet the threat was serious this is why I'm worried that his dad isn't going to give up so easily.

How is he financially gaining from this because I don't see how he is, he is paying £370 per month for the mortgage plus electric, gas, water, food ect ect and his dad pays £0 the only one who is financially gaining from this is his dad if he doesn't sign the house over then he has a house there too that he hasn't paid for in the last so many years.

Person_one

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I don't think my OH had thought this through when he first decided to buy the house don't forget he was only 21 are you suggesting that you wern't naive when you was 21?? Once my OH cracked a joke to his dad about kicking him out and he had a right wobble saying well I won't be siging the house over then. It was only a joke yet the threat was serious this is why I'm worried that his dad isn't going to give up so easily.

How is he financially gaining from this because I don't see how he is, he is paying £370 per month for the mortgage plus electric, gas, water, food ect ect and his dad pays £0 the only one who is financially gaining from this is his dad if he doesn't sign the house over then he has a house there too that he hasn't paid for in the last so many years.

He will be financially gaining in the long run. If he lived anywhere else he'd have to pay rent (which would probably be more than that mortgage) and all the bills anyway. If his dad signs the house over to him he stands to gain all the equity from any future sale.

His dad is gaining in the short term by living for free but losing out long term by giving up a potentially valuable asset.

RAS

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I feel like I'm being the unreasonable one in all this

Steph

Let's put it fairly bluntly in financial terms.

If you ever open a joint account with OH, you will be financially linked to him. OH is already financially linked to his dad. Whilst he remains linked that could affect your credit rating as OH's will be massively reduced by his association with his father. Bear in mind right now OH has no assets and a lot of secured debt.

It is most unlikely that you would be able to get a joint mortgage whilst he has the mortgage with his father. Any joint accounts with OH would be your responsiblity if he failed to contribute. I do not think he has any intention of diddling you, but the seriousness of his situation with his father might push him into defaulting on unsecured debts.

If you marry OH and are together more than two years, he can claim your assets if the relationship breaks down.

Errata

A Local Authority selling a property under Right To Buy insist on the tenant employing a solicitor for the transaction.

Anyone who pays all the mortgage, all the utilities and all the food that a 49 year old is perfectly capable of paying themselves if they get a job is either wealthy, naive or foolish.

Son can't put the house on the market because it doesn't belong to him, dad doesn't have to give son the house if he doesn't wish to.

It seems to me that the only way out of this impasse is for son to move out, stop paying the mortgage, wait for the house to be repossessed and hope it will sell for more than the outstanding mortgage given the discount and 5 years of payments.

It seems to me that this is very unlikely to happen.

Oldernotwiser

Father is no better off because he would have had his rent paid by HB if he hadn't bought the house.

Son has thought that he could make an easy buck by buying a council house at a discount.

Obviously brains and financial nous are not a family trait here!

Person_one

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Father is no better off because he would have had his rent paid by HB if he hadn't bought the house.

Son has thought that he could make an easy buck by buying a council house at a discount.

Obviously brains and financial nous are not a family trait here!

The OP has stated that the father would have been evicted from the council house quite soon. I know its rare but it does happen so maybe we should take her at her word. Maybe he was massively in arrears or behaving antisocially.

Oldernotwiser

Person_one wrote: »

The OP has stated that the father would have been evicted from the council house quite soon. I know its rare but it does happen so maybe we should take her at her word. Maybe he was massively in arrears or behaving antisocially.

OP has said that she only knows what she has been told.

Most councils (all?) won't let you exercise your right to buy until all arrears have been paid off and frequently suspend a tenant's right to buy when there's anti social behaviour involved.