Some advice needed

Person_one

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

OP has said that she only knows what she has been told.

Most councils (all?) won't let you exercise your right to buy until all arrears have been paid off and frequently suspend a tenant's right to buy when there's anti social behaviour involved.

Fair enough, I'll admit I know very little about right to buy, it just seemed like people were ignoring the OP on that point.

Happy_Girl_2

Steph, were you with your OH when he bought into this house? When is the 5 years up?

I can well imagine your OH is going to take a dim view of you quizzing him on all the details, as he may well believe he has made a good decision and won't like hearing otherwise. I expect at the time, your OH weighed up his options, and thought that the mortgage on the RTB is about half of what it would cost him to rent privately, he saves his dad being evicted, and he stands to gain when the house is sold for a profit. Perhaps your OH and his dad like the living arrangements between them, but he tells you he doesn't as he thinks this is what you want to hear.

Don't be surprised if your OH doesn't want to change the situation. Your plan to rent somewhere halfway between where you both live is a good one in the real world. But in his world, it is going to cost far more than he pays now, even with his dad's debts, plus he will have the guilt of leaving his dad homeless potentially. If he walks away from the mortgage, he will not be able to get another mortgage with you either

I think you need to prepare yourself that you won't hear what you want to hear, and your OH may make you out to be the bad person in all this, as you are daring to challenge his decisions. If that is the case, you seriously need to consider what you want. If he won't move out, and you won't move in, you may need to move on and find someone who has the same values as you

I do think you feeling like you don't belong there is your insecurity. You've said the FIL2b and you do get along in general, but I do accept when you stay somewhere for a few days at a time, it is unlikely to feel like home. Perhaps if you moved in for a couple of weeks, you could get a better idea. If you really do want to marry your OH, then you might have to find a way of just putting up with the situation, and making the best of it?

Oldernotwiser

Person_one wrote: »

Fair enough, I'll admit I know very little about right to buy, it just seemed like people were ignoring the OP on that point.

I'm certainly not ignoring the OP but she has said herself that she only knows what she's been told. There seems to be a great deal of ignorance and/or naivety on all sides in this situation, unfortunately.

Stephb1986_2

Happy_Girl wrote: »

I do think you feeling like you don't belong there is your insecurity. You've said the FIL2b and you do get along in general, but I do accept when you stay somewhere for a few days at a time, it is unlikely to feel like home. Perhaps if you moved in for a couple of weeks, you could get a better idea. If you really do want to marry your OH, then you might have to find a way of just putting up with the situation, and making the best of it?

So your suggesting I basically give all my money to pay off his dads debts??? I would seriously have to have a screw loose to do that. We're not talking 1-2 grand here we're talking over 9-8 grand! Not a cat in hells chance I might aswell go into the streets and give it to tramps.

Stephb1986_2

I think my OH paid off the arrears before he bought the house.

RAS

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I think my OH paid off the arrears before dad bought the house.

Both you and OH need to get that one point clear for a start.

Happy_Girl_2

Stephb1986 wrote: »

So your suggesting I basically give all my money to pay off his dads debts??? I would seriously have to have a screw loose to do that. We're not talking 1-2 grand here we're talking over 9-8 grand! Not a cat in hells chance I might aswell go into the streets and give it to tramps.

If you mean in the sense that you will be contributing towards the mortgage payments, you need to separate the thinking around the debts from the fact that you are benefitting from a 3 bedroom house for less monthly outlay than renting a 1 bedroom flat

I'm not saying I would want to move in cos I wouldn't. I was only saying that if your OH refuses to see this situation as a problem, this might be your only solution if you want to stay in the relationship and live together. As an outside looking in, I would say that if he thinks he has made a good decision to buy this house and refuses to change the situation, then you should end the relationship and find someone else as this will never improve. But I don't think you want to do that, and you can't realistically plan a wedding knowing you can never live together

Stephb1986_2

It's not 3 bedroomed either his dad knocked two rooms into one so its two bedroomed.

Why should I contribute to the mortgage payments when his dad doesn't?? Why should I put a roof over his dads head???

RAS

Hi

We are rather getting off track here.

Steph

Do you understand the financial implications of your Oh's current legal situation.

And do you fuly understand that the house is his dads

And that OH is in a lot of difficulty even if dad were to "sign over" the property? Not least because the lender would demand a valuation and given what you have indicated about the state of the house, it would be very low.

Zazen999

Zazen999 wrote: »

Are you saying that he has a mortgage now on a house that is not in his name?

Can you confirm the above?