Some advice needed

paddy's_mum

Oh dear - I took the original comment to mean that an offer had been made by the sister so that a viable option already existed, even if an unpalatable one!

Steph - if no such offer exists, then I feel sorry for the poor fiance caught between two strong people, each of whom he clearly loves dearly. Don't let the desire to achieve what you want lead you to manipulate the situation as you can be sure that with a fil as cleverly stupid and devious as this one, it will return to bite you.

I suggest that sound legal advice is what is urgently needed. I also suggest that the time to hold back from telling fiance what you really think and feel is long gone. The time for cards on the table and a lot of plain speaking is upon you. Good luck.

JBD

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Whilst I appreciate that the OP said "He has a daughter he can go and live with instead ", one really wonders whether this is just wishful thinking on her part!

I can't decide whether everyone involved in this is terribly naive or whether there is more to this situation than we (or the OP) is being told.

I agree, I think there is more to this story. The OP does seem a little inconsistent in their story at times, I wonder if they are stretching the truth a litle?

RAS

Stephb1986 wrote: »

Both of them are on the mortgage could he not sign a deed of anulment and sign the mortgage over to his dad?

AAARgh............

So father wholly owns and asset worth say £100,000 (the house).

And son is jointly and severally liable for a mortgage on said house, say £80,000.

Which means that if father does not pay the mortgage, son is wholly liable for the secured debt.

And that son has absolutely no way of preventing father accruing even more debt against the asset.

And son has absolutely no way divesting himself of his legal obligation for the mortgage cost.

And son has no way of getting father to leave the house (ignoring the slight problems over intentional homelessness etc).

The only option I can think of would be to sell the property, even though in its current state and in the current market is probably not mortgageable.

And that would have major unfortunate consequences for father, so he is not going to play ball.

Your OH is trapped, Steph, and needs serious legal advice; could be the best £100 he ever spent. Although I am not sure how he would get out of it.

Pollycat

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I've prepared myself for tonight I just hope it works out right.

Thanks for all the advice

Steph xx

Steph
does that mean that you're going to sit down with your OH and discuss all the issues that you've outlined here?

If I were you, I'd try to think of ways you can say some of the things you've said on here but in a diplomatic way.


Maybe you should bring up the things that (imho) REALLY need answering first e.g.

• is there any legal document about your FIL-to-be signing the house over at some defined point in the future?
• does your OH ever intend moving out of the house? I think the answer to that one could be the deal-breaker as from what you've said you couldn't live in it with his father there.

I wish you luck, Steph, I think you're going to need it.

Pollycat

RAS, very succintly put. :T

The way you've laid it out, it's a very scary position for the OP's OH to be in and I agree that he needs decent legal advice.

Stephb1986_2

I don't know the in's and outs of what they have agreed to totally it's only what I've been told.

There is no formal offer off his daughter for him to move in with her (wishful thinking) But I don't see how he can expect to live rent free for the rest of his life.

I am going to sit down with him tonight and have it out with him, atleast he will know how I feel about it and open his eyes about what might lie ahead for him whether he takes it in or not is another question.

I think he does need some legal advice and soon because I don't think his dad will give up the house that easily.

paddy's_mum

How did all this mortgage and deeds and associated stuff get done? Was there no solicitor involved? If there was, he surely must have pointed out the dangers of son putting his head into a financial noose for the next 25 years.

What worries me the most is that Steph is planning to marry a man who is so easily swayed into such gullible conduct. His innocence makes him dangerous as a husband. Why would anyone in possession of their wits choose to ignore the evidence of their own eyes (the incontrovertible knowledge of his father's character and conduct) and just blithely assume that it'll all turn out alright?

I'm sorry that this has all blown up on what should be the most romantic weekend of the year but you'll all be better off working from a firm foundation of knowledge instead of guesswork, supposition and keeping your fingers crossed for the next however many years.

Stephb1986_2

The only person his dad cares about is himself to be honest. I don't know if there was a solicitor involved I will have to ask I've got a feeling there wasn't though

Oldernotwiser

Stephb1986 wrote: »

The only person his dad cares about is himself to be honest. I don't know if there was a solicitor involved I will have to ask I've got a feeling there wasn't though

I don't think you can buy a house without using a solicitor.

paddy's_mum

Your fiance needs to sort this out now before any more money goes down the drain and before anybody is lined up for more heartache.

It's all going to come as quite a shock since you've been hiding your real views and he's almost certain to loathe all you have to say but there is nothing to be gained by burying his head in the sand. If it gets rid of this fiance (heaven forbid but I'm sure you can see what I mean) that doesn't make the problem go away. It just puts it off for a while longer and your fiance needs to understand that.

In your shoes, I'd be most concerned about what hold the father has over the son to be able to persuade him to commit financial suicide.