The Bad Mummies Thread

JBD

Evansangel wrote: »

Can i join? Im not officially a mummy yet, (26 days!) but during this pregnancy i have eaten peanuts... and OH has a peanut allergy

I just cant help it, i love them so much.

Im a bad mummy to be

No Evansangel, you're not nearly naughty enough yet. Suggest you do one or more of the following:-

eat liver/pate
eat prawn cocktail
eat danish blue cheese
eat pre-packed salad
drink a small glass of wine/ half a lager shandy/sit in a pub drinking a soft drink
smoke a single cigarette/ be in company of family member who smokes/ be within a 5 mile radius of a lit cigarette
stock pile special offers of disposable nappies/baby wipes/ toiletries etc
Ask kindly relatives who offer to buy baby gifts for any of the following:- steam steriliser/ baby bottles/ dummies/ cot bumpers.
.
Also as a general rule, if anyone tries to pat your bump snarl at them and tell them to !!!! off.

Evansangel

JBD wrote: »

No Evansangel, you're not nearly naughty enough yet. Suggest you do one or more of the following:-

eat liver/pate
eat prawn cocktail
eat danish blue cheese
eat pre-packed salad CHECK
drink a small glass of wine (dont drink wine)/ half a lager shandyCHECK/sit in a pub drinking a soft drinkCHECK
smoke a single cigarette (dont smoke)/ be in company of family member who smokes CHECK/ be within a 5 mile radius of a lit cigarette CHECK
stock pile special offers of disposable nappies/baby wipes/ toiletries etcCHECK (the nursery is full of disposable nappies/wipes/breast pads/toiletries )
Ask kindly relatives who offer to buy baby gifts for any of the following:- steam steriliser/ baby bottles/ dummies/ cot bumpers.CHECK
.
Also as a general rule, if anyone tries to pat your bump snarl at them and tell them to !!!! off. No one has tried it yet, but i guess it might be cause i glare at people who come near me lol

Have edited your above list, damn... Im a bad mummy to be

JBD

Evansangel, you're learning. Can add a few things. Re. the list of things you are supposed to take into the hospital:-

Nursing bras , breast pads - replace with tight push up bras, waterproof mascara, favourite perfume
paper knickers, maternity pads:- old knickers, supermarket basic pads. Otherwise remember, a girl can only fit so much inside a small bag. So remember the basics, Dairy milk, make up bag etc. Also don't forget the baby, better sneak in a few wipes or baby lotion. Believe me there is nothing worse than trying to clean up meconium with only cotton wool and water. Especially on a little girl.

Other than that, can't think of too much. You are well on your to being a truly naughty Mummy. :T:j:T
Please pass on your experiences , remember there are many good Mummies out there waiting to be saved .

pigpen

JBD wrote: »

And if she asked her ''who is your favourite, Mummy'' she would just say ''you are'' instead of going into the rigmarole of explaining the ''I love you all equally but different'' thing.

I say.. I dislike you all the same!

JBD

pigpen wrote: »

I say.. I dislike you all the same!

Pigpen, you just made me LMAO:rotfl:

It's always good to know, no matter how bad we think we are ,there's always someone out there who's much much worse.:rotfl::T:rotfl:

stingy_rach

OMG this thread has made me laugh out loud. Am not even a parent yet (just a bad Auntie) but am happy in the knowledge that when I do decide to have little ones I might just make it!

pigpen

JBD wrote: »

Pigpen, you just made me LMAO:rotfl:

It's always good to know, no matter how bad we think we are ,there's always someone out there who's much much worse.:rotfl::T:rotfl:

Yeah.. their dad lol I am SO much nicer than him

I don't beat them until they have bruises or are bleeding.
I don't starve them or abuse/assault them on a regular basis.. just occasionally and then it is a matter of opinion
They have everything they need.. I think too much every time I look at the state of my hovel
They have a warm safe house.

esmy

grastgirl wrote: »

Sorry to put a dampener on things, but eating slugs is really bad, they can harbour parasites that travel to your brain and cause encephalitis (pressure on the brain). I'm pretty sure the doctors can sort it out, but you'd have to tell them she ate slugs.

11 years on??? Maybe that's why as a teenager she can never find key,ipod, money,homework....and like the true bad mummy I am, neither can I.

bertiebots

JBD wrote: »

No Evansangel, you're not nearly naughty enough yet. Suggest you do one or more of the following:-

eat liver/pate
eat prawn cocktail
eat danish blue cheese
eat pre-packed salad
drink a small glass of wine/ half a lager shandy/sit in a pub drinking a soft drink
smoke a single cigarette/ be in company of family member who smokes/ be within a 5 mile radius of a lit cigarette
stock pile special offers of disposable nappies/baby wipes/ toiletries etc
Ask kindly relatives who offer to buy baby gifts for any of the following:- steam steriliser/ baby bottles/ dummies/ cot bumpers.
.
Also as a general rule, if anyone tries to pat your bump snarl at them and tell them to !!!! off.

I have done all the above.... and was a really really bad mummy to be when I was 37 wks pregnant with ds1, I went down White Scar Caves in North Yorkshire....you should have seen the looks I got and some of the comments as I past . I honestly couldnt see what the problem was at the time...now I am not so sure it was a good idea:eek:

mumOf2wonderfulkids

bertiebots wrote: »

I have done all the above.... and was a really really bad mummy to be when I was 37 wks pregnant with ds1, I went down White Scar Caves in North Yorkshire....you should have seen the looks I got and some of the comments as I past . I honestly couldnt see what the problem was at the time...now I am not so sure it was a good idea:eek:

a day over my due date i fell down the stairs and broke my back *obviously not on purpose!!* :eek:

bad mummy