Baby Milk Price Hike!

xmaslolly76

Did someone mention CAKE:D

MrsTinks

Nope - not here... not us... never... uh uhhhh

MrsTinks

Dormouse wrote: »

I never say no to cake!

And that's exactly what I said - you have no control over your eyes - yet you stil have to pay for it. No it's not fair, but that's what I meant, anything 'extra' is more expensive.

But smoking and wearing make up is entirely optional so can't really be compared...


It's chocolate... that ok?

SusanC_2

MrsTine wrote: »

I see some of your points SusanC but we don't go on and on about FFing children so why do a lot of the BFing army have to constantly slate us for our choices? And being as I have on here been told my reason wasn't "a good enough" reason then I beg to differ on the lack of attacks at people for how they choose to feed their babies.

I think the reason it started here was that someone was complaining about the cost of formula and how unfair it is on FFing mothers that it was expensive just because "breast is best" so then things moved on to the rights/wrong of formula promotion and therefore the rights and wrongs of formula vs. breastfeeding. It was an inevitable progression from the original post. It seems that some people (although not all and obviously not you) think that if they don't breastfeed for whatever reason that someone else owes it to them to subsidise or pay for formula as it is unfair that breastfeeders get it "free" and they don't.

And whilst I agree that most BF problems can be solved with the right help, it is not always easy and it is an individual's choice whether they think it is worth it for them. I did not experience the problem you described (and incidentally, I did admire the fact that you persevered through those earlier weeks with additional pain due to thrush) so I cannot comment on it other than to say that whilst it is feasible that it could have been overcome with the right support that doesn't mean your reason for stopping was not good enough. I am not you and only you know what is the best choice in your own circumstances. You are obviously happy with the choice you made but there may be some people who stopped for a similar reason who would have chosen to continue if given the right help and who are not happy with having had to stop because they couldn't find a solution on their own. It is not my place to judge anyone else's choices and I would never say to someone who had given up breastfeeding that they shouldn't have stopped or that they should have done this that or the other as it is completely unhelpful after the fact. I have a friend who was told by a doctor to stop breastfeeding because she had had two miscarriages and he thought they might have been caused by breastfeeding. She found stopping really hard as it was distressing for her daughter. After she told me about it, I looked into it (for my own benefit in terms of family planning) and found out that there is no link between breastfeeding and miscarriage. If my friend had told me what her doctor said at the time and I had had that knowledge, I would have told her so that she had the information to make her own choice. As it is, it was after the fact and it was very difficult for her so I would never tell her that actually it was unecessary. Clearly it was not a good reason to give up (as it was made up by the doctor and had no scientific basis) but she made the best choice she could with the information she had and it would be wrong of me to tell her.

In the same way, I think it would be wrong of me to start pointing out to anyone why their reason was not "good enough". If someone asks (and you did ask how anyone could have solved your particular problem) then fine to discuss possible ways it could have been solved but only if the person concerned has initiated the discssion and even then there is no place in the conversation for judging whether it was a "good enough" reason at the time.

MrsTine wrote: »

As for the birth thing... I had an epidural too, I was screaming out for it for an hour before I got it, I was shaking in pain with every contraction... I think they're wonderful! But that was for me - it was the right thing for me! And you know? I wouldn't have another either... as discussed with my husband I will only have another child if I can have an elective C-section. Why? Because I really don't want another forcepts delivery that will cause as much problems down there for me again that I now will probably need corrective surgery... Natural? Sure - if it's the right thing for you - it's not for everyone.

How you have responded to my comments about epidurals vs natural birth is exactly how I wish people could discuss formula vs breastmilk. I really don't understand why it is any different. You know that there are risks assosciated with it but taking into account your own circumstances and the possible benefits, you chose to take it as you felt it was the right choice for you - isn't that how it works with choosing formula too?

emlou2009 wrote: »

Please re-read this in a caring tone, rather than a attacking one. When I wrote it, I didnt write it to be read in an attacking tone at all, which is clearly what it was taken in.

I just want to say that if you (you meaning everybody and nobody in particular!) choose to read my post in a caring and reasoning tone of voice rather than a attacking finger in the face kind of voice, you will see how it was written. I wont apologise for what I wrote because its what I believe in and no malice was intended at all, along with the 19 people that thanked it obviously, but what I will apologise for is that it upset someone.

But for what its worth, I do feel that if there is a problem with something I've said, its much more mature and adult to raise the problem calmly than to rant about it all over facebook, involve people that dont understand what the main issue is because they arent involved and delete me off there before I can either stick up for myself and what I believe in or explain properly what I meant.

The only criticism I have seen is what I wrote (although clearly there has been something on Facebook which I haven't seen). I was able to write calmly because it was not about me. Also, "knowing" you I thought it most likely that you had not realised that what you wrote would be very hurtful in a personal way which is why I wrote the comment I did. If I thought you were deliberately being hurtful I wouldn't have bothered saying anything on here and would just have PM'd Feelie to say that I disagreed with what you had said so that she didn't think that everyone agreed with you. You implied that the monumental struggle/effort she did to succeed at something which she believes with the core of her being was not only not worth it but that she made the wrong choice. You got upset one time by comments made about early weaning. Imagine if instead of choosing early weaning because circumstances meant you were advised it was the best thing to do that it was actually something that as long as you remembered you had believed 100% that it early wening is the best thing you can do for your baby. Then also imagine that for some reason it was something which was really difficult and you had to battle to succeed at it. And then imagine that instead of just making general criticism of early weaning that people specifically dredged up your situation and circumstances and personally criticised your won early weaning of your baby. I'm sure you would have found that much more hurtful than the general, non-personal, discussion/criticism of early weaning and I hope this might go some way to helping you understand how hurtful what you said was. (NB I am not bringing up early wening as a criticism - only to help you understand how what you said was so hurtful.)

MrsTine wrote: »

But it's NOT relaxing if you're struggling. I had HVs helping me on numerous occassions, trying to express or BF when you have blocked ducts or thrush is NOT relaxing and when your baby is trying to remove your nipple from your breast then no it's not a tranquil calm moment either
You have NO idea how much I would have LOVED to have had a peaceful moment feeding DD... guess when that happened? when I switched to formula...
The "formula police" don't judge those who are BFing, (at least I haven't seen it) - we're merely asking the same curtesy back...

I wouldn't say I've ever found breastfeeding "relaxing" either. It was very hard at first and then it was neutral. I did/do it because I believe it to be best - I don't/didn't love it but I don't/didn't hate it either (after the first bit).

Fitzio wrote: »

I think the difference between BFing and FFing is that those FFing don't try to convince those BFing to change their ideals and do the other. And I know that doesn't apply to everyone BFing, but there always seems to be a few people who want to interfere and try to convince the FFers. It doesn't really happen the other way round as far as I can see. Yes, there are benefits of BFing, but they don't always outweigh FFing for everyone and it's up to individuals to make that decision.

I consider myself to be very blessed that I have never experienced anyone telling me I should stop breastfeeding. Indeed even my Grandad (after checking that I was BFing) told me that he and my Grandma always thought it was best to BF as long as you are able. However anecdotally I seem to be in a minority. Loads of people who breastfeed get pressured to switch either by their partner, friends or other family members. I used to be on the ABM mailing list and people were always complaining about being put under pressure to switch. My friend was even pressured to FF by her HV.

MrsTine wrote: »

I think holding a view on something and judging others for not holding the same view is one thing - you can do so quietly and without purposely insulting or hurting people - and then there is vocalising that oppinion in a deeply patronising manner to their face (as it were - I appreciate this is a forum...).

I agree.

xmaslolly76 wrote: »

I dont go on the parenting thread either to be honest i found it could be a bit of a dictatorship at times although there are many lovely ladies on there :-)

Is anyone else curious to know who the dictator is?

MrsTinks

LOL Susan you're just after a piece of peace chocolate cake too aren't you?

Good points though

SusanC_2

MrsTine wrote: »

LOL Susan you're just after a piece of piece chocolate cake too aren't you?

Any chance of fruit cake? I'm not that keen on chocolate cake.

MrsTinks

Yuck! Sorry I don't do fruit cake... I could be convinced to make a ginger cake, banana loaf or even a carrot cake at a push...

(fruit? in a cake? But that's nearly healthy! shaaaaaaaame on you! :rotfl:)

Fitzio

SusanC wrote: »

I consider myself to be very blessed that I have never experienced anyone telling me I should stop breastfeeding. Indeed even my Grandad (after checking that I was BFing) told me that he and my Grandma always thought it was best to BF as long as you are able. However anecdotally I seem to be in a minority. Loads of people who breastfeed get pressured to switch either by their partner, friends or other family members. I used to be on the ABM mailing list and people were always complaining about being put under pressure to switch. My friend was even pressured to FF by her HV.

Fair enough - there will always be instances where people think it's right in individual circumstances to switch, but I was referring to the comment about the Formula Police, and I was thinking in general terms such as on these debates. I don't think I have experienced anyone steaming into one of these debates and saying "It's better to FF and you should change as you are not doing the best for your baby/You shouldn't be allowed to BF unless you can't FF for any reason" whereas they have said such things with regards to BFing. Of course I could be wrong (it has been known on occasion!).

xmaslolly76

Mmmmm choclate that will go down nicely after my runny egg and chips thank you hehehehe :-)

MrsTinks

did you make me a runny egg and chips?? No??

(hank marvin! argh... knew I forgot something today... and not DD - she's not being picked up till 5:30 lol)