Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

salesaddict

Anglea wrote: »

Salesaddict, re the flirting and self- esteem. I was wondering if you are also have the people pleaser personality? . I've got myself into a few situations in the past when people have misinterpreted my 'being friendly' chats as a come on. :mad: It also happens with ordinary people who are lonely - women etc, and because I'm always friendly with strangers and a good listener they believe they've found their new best friend then start expecting things I can't give them.

Hi ms London, well done for turning your life around and getting a grip on those shopping and socialising habits.

Yes Anglea, I am a people pleaser and have got myself into some very awkward situations. But as I have got older I have got a lot better at dealing with those sort of things. I can be quite assertive when I need to be:D

CompletelyLost

Sorry I'm totally not with it today... will catch up tomorrow, eyes won't stay open any longer so am off to bed. Just posting to say I'm not ignoring any posts for me, just too tired to read! xxx

Oh, and I ordered the coat I wanted ... £64.95 delivered (would have cost me £80 in Debenhams, so saved £15 by using a discount code online). My nan gave me £20 too so in my head it only cost me £44.95

G'night xx

ejbg2001

Completely, I understand, I have a friend who is 6'2" and always hated the way she looked, also not believing people's confidence. She finally realised that it didn't matter (in some ways) what she felt, as they obviously believed what they were saying. So she started taking it at face value. She still doesn't truly believe, but she feels better about accepting the compliments she gets (and she is stunning). My "little" sister is also 6' and still has a long way to go in the confidence department before she gets to that stage.

For me, it took me a long time to accept my body and I am now mostly comfy with it. For many years I was a scrawny little scrap of a girl (7stone, 5' 0.5") and everything was too big! It took many years before I started putting weight on, till I finally got over 8st. My clothes started fitting a bit better! After splitting with my partner of the time (12 years) I then plummeted back down to 7st 6lb, def NOT healthy, but I just couldn't eat. I finally met a new man who is just the person I needed and I slowly regained the weight. In fact I have overdone it a little lol, as I am now over 9st and need to get back down to a comfy 8st 6-8lbs. But even with the extra, I feel like a proper woman... You can't count my ribs thru a close-fitting tee shirt any more and I don't get "numb bum" syndrome when I sit down for too long (had really bony bum).

It has taken me nearly 40 years to become happy with what I look like... now I need to accept who I am personality-wise so I don't start hating myself again... It's not easy, but I'm getting there.

NG, think of it this way... if he didn't want to pay, he shouldn't have offered. Give them a chance to back out gracefully, but if they want to pay... hell let em, it's their money.

Re: the people pleaser.... OMG I thought I was the only one who picked up "nutters". I am chatty and friendly, esp on places like buses, and you get those who won't shut up or the creepy old guys who get waaaay too close (I have a very large personal space when it comes to strangers, esp men). Mind you, I have made friends with some people I travelled to work with and still say hi and have a chat to if I see em in town.

Today is payday, so not no spend, but I'm having to go food shopping with my mum due to my back.... Not looking forward to it, as she is a worse spendaholic than me and usually has no money... ergo I end up buying things for her...

Today tho I'm being good, as I want my new computer. So any temptations will be matched against "Can I buy this and the pc I really want?" If it's no, then adios extra purchase!

Feeling a little better today, but must remember 1 - Eat before I go, 2 - Take a proper budgeted shopping list based on my foodplan (I recommend the Lovefoodhatewaste.com site and ofc the MSE threads on the forums) 3 - Say no to the mother.....

LOL I may get her a little something for Mother's Day, and there's the petrol, but other than that... Must Be Strong...

verynewmoneysaver

Morning everyone, Going to visit my parents this weekend who live in a small town so not much temptation to spend there, apart from the several charity shops which I'll have to have a look in!

ejbg2001

OK, I have £180 to live on this month after getting the pc.....

This is going to be interesting lol....

Wish me luck!

ejbg2001

Go go you! :-) GL New!

NGlady

Good luck
I am going to the hairdressers later and ill probs hate it after lol. I always do this, go spend 60 on somebody making my hair blonde then stand in my mirror after and go "ewww laura" takes a long time for me to like it, confidence issue maybe, strange thing is, its the same as before just shorter lol.


I am allowing myself one body shop purchase, a new hairbrush trying to decide whether i need wooden or pin need to decide before 1130 tho otherwise no free PP and the offer of £10 for the price of £5 is great!

lisainglasgow

But NGlady do you really need it??

NGlady

I have a 2 inch black spot at the top of my hair so yeah lol. Plus the hairbrush, my hairbrush is pulling my hair out, ive read its cos its a cheap one plus i need a detangle comb so a new brush and a comb for a fiver

lisainglasgow

Fair enough then! I think new purchases are fine as long as we really will get use out of them. Enjoy your new brush!