Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

mippy

moggylover wrote: »

There is another one called No Logo by Naomi Klein that is well worth a read if you are inclined to see what goes on behind their pretty frontage as well SA!

Reading about ethical shopping and learning how cheap goods are produced is a real eyeopener and will make you curb spending like nobody's business.

mippy

CompletelyLost wrote: »

Seems like I am the opposite to a lot of you... I dress dowdy so that people don't take any notice of me. I'm very 'big' (height-wise) so prefer to dress down as I don't want to attract even more attention to myself. I always feel like if someone is complimenting me, they're doing it as a joke and it makes me paranoid... that maybe there's motive behind their compliment :S

verynewmoneysaver: I'm a bit like that. Actually I buy when I'm happy, sad, angry, frustrated, bored... basically any extreme emotion.

I have size 9 feet, 36FF boobs, am 5ft 10 and couldn't blend in if I tried. I also have bright red hair - that way you know why people are staring at you

NGlady

CompletelyLost wrote: »

I don't want to attract even more attention to myself. I always feel like if someone is complimenting me, they're doing it as a joke and it makes me paranoid... that maybe there's motive behind their compliment :S

verynewmoneysaver: I'm a bit like that. Actually I buy when I'm happy, sad, angry, frustrated, bored... basically any extreme emotion.

I completely agree with you both there. I am very similar to you similarlost in the sence of, I was bullied a lot at school and if any of you are a similar age to me, the biggest taunt a boy could do would be to shout "sexy" etc at you and pretend to chat you up, in the hope of humiliating you.

So now, I am very shy when I recieve a compliment. I don't really know how to act. Do I say thankyou, do I return the compliment, do I smile, the list goes on. I guess I am one of those who would say something like "Oh this old thing" as I don't really have much confidence in me.

Its in other things in life too. I am a singleton, and I go on the occasional date. When I am on the date, and the guy offers to pay, I go all shy (probs linking back to my teen years) or offers me a compliment (again linking back)

Also I do that. I tend to shop when im bored, which is alas a lot at the moment. Then when i've overcome my bordum, I end up returning a lot of the items. But I feel shy about that, its like, does the SA know that im a shoppaholic and this is my fix I am returnin lol.

I do try and dress up a little day-to-day, I give consideration to my outfits etc. I would love to be able to wear heels, but I live a 15 min walk from the bus stop, I don't think my poor size 6's can cope with all that walking in heels. When I can drive, hopefully a little more. I do love getting really glammed up when I go out though I don't pay to have my nails done, partly because I cant afford to and partly because I like to be quite down to earth too, occasionally when I go to a wedding or such ill have them done But I like normal nails, so a nice coloured paint on them for example. I dont live in full face of makeup, which I think ive talked about previously

morocha

OMG . i am so much like that too. i have very little confidence.. i am also latin so since i moved to the Uk and particularly where i live, everyone is kind of blonde and blue eyes ? i am dark hair, black eyes , tan skin... i feel weird when people look at me, when some boy smiles at me, i go red like a 10 year old girl ( i am 25),

i laugh when i can not control a situation, i feel bad if a boy look at me because i am married and i think it is wrong, i do not know how to flirt, i bet i will never learn, but i do not need to... i am shy and people often confuses that with me being very off.... i am shy with strangers but not with people that i know.. i mean my BIL is like a little brother to me, even tho he is older than me, i treat him like a little boy, we joke a lot but i do not do this in front of MIL( yes in front of my OH, we have a good laugh ) cos i dont want her to think, there is something going on ...in some ways is like, he is part of "my family" but she is not... she is completely different to me.. you know latin people and family... family is the most important thing.

i do shop a lot when i feel some extreme emotion too.

NGlady

Morocha, similar to you, in the sence of when I go away on Holiday. I have faux blonde hair with blue eyes and obviously in Euro countries like Spain thats slightly unusual, so when a local smiles at me and tries to talk to me, I shy away like a young girl too.

I dont really know how to flirt either, and i come across very stand offish. Which I would love to be able to overcome

morocha

if we all ever meet one day, don't you think it would be the funniest shopping day ever ?? we are all very much alike... hahhahha

Sharona

Hi,

Someone told me from some addictions research about the HALT theory - which is to say, when you feel the addiction about to kick in you stop and ask yourself - am I?

Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired

I'm trying to do this when the overwhelming urge to buy something hits me. Think about what's really behind it and how to address that instead of buying clothes or makeup or whatever.

Could add to that boredom - although for me it's usually more triggered by feeling inadequate and needing a pick-me-up.

xx

Anglea

Hi everyone,

ejbg- hope you get better real soon back problems are a nuisance

I had a NSD as that darn dental medicine is making me drowsy so I was too tired to move in the afternoon.

Re shopping when you are stressed etc. Yes that can happen. Thank goodness it's night time now LOL as I had do write an email to someone that was a 'blast from the past' (childhood) who had got in contact with me some weeks back as they wanted to visit my family and I, and now they are writing non-stop so I stopped reading their emails. I can't deal with this level of enthusiasm and don't have any interest in resuming friendship after so many years. . I didn't exactly tell them not to visit, but I did say that I didn't like change. .

Of course now, I'm going to be second guessing myself all night if I should have sent that email or not. Probably hit the bookshops tomorrow too :mad:

Stations - I would also add motorway services for places you have to buy something.

Self-esteem - what I find works is that no matter what you are wearing, bad hair day or not, always walk tall, stomach in, head straight - makes you look confident and in control no matter how you feel inside.

I am always getting stared at when I'm with my son, because he has special needs and makes a lot of noises when we're out, so you have to have a very thick skin to deal with it people always turning round. He loves shopping.

And on the subject I mentioned before about feeling invisible, when I go out without him people are always asking after him, what's he up to etc. Or they ask about my parents or other child.

So it's not surprising us women end up trying to express ourselves however we can because often as soon as we get in a couple, or have children it's as though our individuality disappears.

NGlady

Yep motorway service stations and cinemas, the only place u feel that need to purchase a 2.00 bag of sweets u can get for a quid elsewhere lol.

NGlady

I recieved a meadowhall discount card today, cant figure out where i can use it, very pleased though as going there on sat and could save some pennies on lunch