Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

debtdesperado

That is so true Mrs Tine! I now buy fewer things, but they are planned and so I know I will wear them. They are generally more expensive, but it still works out 'cheaper' as I actually get some use out of them!

salesaddict

Mags30 wrote: »

I'm turning into salesaddict but it's GAP instead of M+S for me. Bit strange because I'm more into wearing dresses, skinny jeans, UGG's than the GAP casual look.

Don't remember if I posted about the €20 GAP Italian Merino wool boyfriend cardigan for €20 RRP €69 a few weeks ago. Anyway I was wearing it at the weekend with my skinny jeans and UGG's, completely casual outfit when my mother's friend made a big fuss about my lovely clothes. She was amazed that I had real UGG's and went on about the cardigan, then she admired my eyeliner....I was really amused because it was the sort of casual outfit not really worthy of any major compliments, but it's these sort of compliments that encourage me to buy more clothes. My self esteem seems to be very dependant on how I look.

When I walked past GAP this morning, there were loads of new sale rails. There's another black cardigan for €12.99 RRP €54, and a few plain longline tops for €6, don't remember the RRP. I didn't buy them but I do plan on going back for them on Thursday.

GAP is new to where I live, is perceived as being very expensive and is clearly not very busy if it's having sales like this. The nice quality basics for Primark prices are what's doing it for me. There's no way I'd pay full price there even if I could afford to.

Everyone on this thread (and the toiletries one) seems to have bought things today:think:

HI Mags
sorry I wanted to post yesterday when I read this but I was so tired.
I really identify with your post. Especially the bit I have highlighted. I have never known how to deal with this lack of self esteem. It really gives me a lift when someone says I look nice. As I have got older I am less dependent on other peoples opionion of me, which is just as well:).
But it still matters to me more than it should. I would never leave the house without makeup, hair just so and my best clothes. That can be from just putting the rubbish out ( I am not joking) to going to work.
If you find an answer to this can you let me know:)

salesaddict

velocity.girl wrote: »

Mags- i do sell an awful lot of stuff on Ebay it 'was' my job for a long time...currently i have a lot of stuff going on so don't list as much as i want...£120 is small fry if i'm honest...i don't go to the shops...i very rarely leave the house due to depression and panic attacks and do ALL my shopping online...it was amazing i actually went to sainsburys on Sun, but my OH was there so i could cope.

I sold £700 worth of stock in 2 months on ebay(up to today) so i do try to sell stuff on. And i use other sites too...

these were bids from 10 days ago i am currently on a sabatical from buying, i feel it is an addiction-it's an awful lot like gambling and i find i bid on several of the same items at once sometimes...and i end up winning 2 lol! i just put them up for presents...but no more of that now.

At the height of my addiction i was spending about £1,000 month on ebay and my house was like an aladins cave:( my bloke organised private counselling and i am a lot better than i was, it's a slowly slowly thing...

Anyway i've gone into a bit too much detail than i would of liked but yep-i'm a fruitloop:mad::(

my aim is to be debt free by July 2010, according to the snowball calculator i will easily and i am sticking to it... Ebay is my only vice...except for crisps!!!:rotfl: I gave chocolate up for lent, don't smoke and rarely drink...

A lot of my debts stem from a very messy divorce so not ALL entirely my fault.

I have reported all mail from clothes/homeware/shoe shops as spam, so fingers crossed....

NSD here and it feels good, 7 items on ebay with 2-3 days left and all have very decent bids with many watchers...that £120 will be a drop in the ocean

Hope you ladies are all ok?

You most certainly are not a fruitloop. You are a great girl as I think I have told you before. You are doing fantastically well, you are an inspiration to me. I am so glad for you that you have such a decent bloke too.

salesaddict

mippy wrote: »

I don't find what I've read of the India Knight book very useful - it's only 'thrifty' if you live a lifestyle of convenience. I already go to free museums and make my own lunches!

One I'd highly recommend is Neil Boorman's Bonfire of the Brands. I'm not someone who values branding much but it did make me think. Also, there's a book called Luxury which is interesting reading for label addicts - some designer names are valuable because of the workmanship, some merely because of the name.

Hello Mippy

thanks for this I will try to get the books that you recommend from the library especially the Bonfire of the Brands, that sounds really interesting

moggylover

salesaddict wrote: »

Hello Mippy

thanks for this I will try to get the books that you recommend from the library especially the Bonfire of the Brands, that sounds really interesting

There is another one called No Logo by Naomi Klein that is well worth a read if you are inclined to see what goes on behind their pretty frontage as well SA!

Mags30

salesaddict wrote: »

HI Mags
sorry I wanted to post yesterday when I read this but I was so tired.
I really identify with your post. Especially the bit I have highlighted. I have never known how to deal with this lack of self esteem. It really gives me a lift when someone says I look nice. As I have got older I am less dependent on other peoples opionion of me, which is just as well:).
But it still matters to me more than it should. I would never leave the house without makeup, hair just so and my best clothes. That can be from just putting the rubbish out ( I am not joking) to going to work.
If you find an answer to this can you let me know:)

Isn't that really hard work? What about when you are at home? Like if somebody knocks on the door and you aren't wearing make-up?

The thing about "nice clothes" is that no matter what we choose to wear there will be somebody who doesn't like it. Although I always admire people who dress well and are well groomed even when I personally wouldn't wear what they have on. I often notice people who are twice my age who look really well even though the clothes might be way too old for me.

I sort of like it when other people are jealous of my how I look:o

CompletelyLost

G'd evening,

I placed a bid on something on ebay a few days ago (99p) and was completely expecting to be outbid on it. Wrong! I won the auction. There mustn't be hardly anyone buying clothes at the moment. There are some mega bargains to be had

Spent most of today doing bog all. I'm going to do a little tidying up and force myself to go for a walk, otherwise I'll never sleep tonight.

NGlady

Hi all
NGlady reporting back in (lol)
Like Dora the explorer I like to explore... my exploring tends to be the shopping mall! So anyway. Today, I went to Derby. £4.80 on the bus, £5 on dinner (I find if i travel more than about half an hour i feel really sick so i need to eat something, possibility to look at local parks in the summer for when in Derby/Nottm and take sarnies ) I returned a dress for £5 to Dotty P's (In the past I would have just kept this, and put it out of mind) and replaced it with a staple peice I wear a lot of sweater style jumpers with denim skirts etc so I brought a new black one, this cost an additional £2... I was walking round the streets, and normally, i knwo this is bad but i don't give anything to the Homeless, but this homeless guy really stuck a cord with me, I couldnt stop thinking about him for an hour, so I didnt really feel comfortable giving him money, so i went to burger king brought a £1.99 big king meal and set upon finding him, his greatful luck was so much nicer than a starbucks on the way home Went in TJhuges and found my shampoo I normally pay £3 for, for £1.29 so brought two needed shampoo anyway then i went in primark now this is where my confession is, I brought some gorgeous purple velvert boots £8

Had a wonder round, yay the lady fashion is in I love all the dresses at the moment Tried that dress on in warehouse, and it fitted wierd! nice round the waste huge on the shoulders, Can see that one going in the sale lol.

Well bit of soaps time, then a bit of tidying up

salesaddict

Mags30 wrote: »

Isn't that really hard work? What about when you are at home? Like if somebody knocks on the door and you aren't wearing make-up?

The thing about "nice clothes" is that no matter what we choose to wear there will be somebody who doesn't like it. Although I always admire people who dress well and are well groomed even when I personally wouldn't wear what they have on. I often notice people who are twice my age who look really well even though the clothes might be way too old for me.

I sort of like it when other people are jealous of my how I look:o

I know what you mean and I am embarrassed about that too:o

No it's not hard work at all. I find the whole process of putting my make up on and choosing what to wear very therapeutic.
I'm sure it is easy for you to believe that I am not a Happy camper sort of person. My dh and dd are. The last, and believe me final, time that I agreed to go camping with them I was up at 5.30am so that I could use the washing facilities and put my make up before anyone else could see me:). I suppose I must sound self-obsessed and very shallow but I think it is actually lack of self esteem. It always amazes me that my husband thinks I am attractive with no make up on.

I always notice what others wear etc and I cannot stop myself from complimenting people. Even strangers at the train station or wherever. I will often ask where they bought something.
I was a bit shocked though with one woman I worked with. Once she got to know me she told me that at first she thought that I was very false because she had never met someone who complemented so many people on their clothes.
Even if I really dislike another woman I still can't resist saying I like her outfit, if I genuinely do.

I also know what you mean about there always being people who might not like what you wear. I do bear secret grudges against some people who have maybe made !!!!!y comments about what I wear:o

Anglea

Hi everyone

This thread has been very busy today, I had about 3 pages to read.

I only did some necessary shopping today and when I got it home laughed as it reminded me of the Generation Game e.g. tent pegs, bin liners, 4 greeting cards, cushion.

I was about to break my 'no books' resolution as I was looking through numerous bookshelves, luckily didn't see anything I wanted.

Salesaddict, I'm always complimenting strangers on their clothes. What I always find is that women say' oh, this cheap thing'.

On the self-esteem and nice clothes issue. You are either dressing up because you truly enjoy doing it, or because you are trying to create an image that will cause some kind of reaction in others.

I have to confess that a lot of my actions over the years have been about this 'impression' thing, not with clothes as much as other things. I mentioned before that I felt very alienated after I married and I ended up feeling invisible, so over the years I took on a number of different identities (I don't mean aliases )

So I wonder Salesaddict what is your reason - to make people notice you, be interested, make them believe you are well off or just because you like dressing up?