Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

salesaddict

CompletelyLost wrote: »

Seems like I am the opposite to a lot of you... I dress dowdy so that people don't take any notice of me. I'm very 'big' (height-wise) so prefer to dress down as I don't want to attract even more attention to myself. I always feel like if someone is complimenting me, they're doing it as a joke and it makes me paranoid... that maybe there's motive behind their compliment :S

verynewmoneysaver: I'm a bit like that. Actually I buy when I'm happy, sad, angry, frustrated, bored... basically any extreme emotion.

Hello CL

I wish you didn't feel like that. Doesn't it occur to you how tall all the Catwalk models are? Clothes hang so nicely on a tall girl. I don't know anyone who compliments just to take the p@@s:A

salesaddict

mippy wrote: »

I have size 9 feet, 36FF boobs, am 5ft 10 and couldn't blend in if I tried. I also have bright red hair - that way you know why people are staring at you

I really envy you your bust. I would love a statement bust like that:)

salesaddict

Sharona wrote: »

Hi,

Someone told me from some addictions research about the HALT theory - which is to say, when you feel the addiction about to kick in you stop and ask yourself - am I?

Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired

I'm trying to do this when the overwhelming urge to buy something hits me. Think about what's really behind it and how to address that instead of buying clothes or makeup or whatever.

Could add to that boredom - although for me it's usually more triggered by feeling inadequate and needing a pick-me-up.

xx

Thats really good advice I am going to keep this in mind, thanks

Anglea

salesaddict wrote: »

I really envy you your bust. I would love a statement bust like that:)

Why salesaddict?

I remember getting really pervy attention from weird looking men - comb overs, strange coloured bad suits , shorter blokes whose eye line match my chest, that horrible man that wore beige shorts and used to put his hand down my back.at every opportunity.........you get all those as well as decent looking blokes :rotfl:

I wonder what mippy's take is on this subject.

salesaddict

I was just thinking about flirting. I have a terrible reputation as a flirt.
This really annoys me because I think I am friendly to everyone, not just if they happen to be men. But I think if you are friendly and like a chat it can be a catch22 situation. Sometimes I think I would be better off keeping myself to myself. But I just can't help it. I will talk to anyone although conversely I also consider myself shy or self conscious actually would probably be a better description.
I think I probably care too much what others think about me and I think that is definitely linked to the clothes, make up, toiletries obsession.:o

ms_london

Hope you don't mind me popping in and saying hello :0)

I was in debt of around £19,000 a few years ago, and this debt was run up by 'going out', and squandering it all on clothes, hair, makeup etc etc. This was ultimately down to low self esteem and I didn't realise how materialistic I had become until I couldn't borrow another penny and had to struggle to pay it off! (that wasn't fun, but still taught me some great lessons!).

I get a lot of compliments at work on what I wear, but it makes me laugh, because most of my clothes are from charity shops / primark and feel 'old' and 'scruffy' to me, I guess it goes to show, doesn't it! Although I take pride in my appearance, I now do it 'budget' - a girl who used to spend £20 on moisturiser now swears on Aldi £3.49 serum! a girl who was once unemployed who went into Warehouse, opened a store card, and left within an hour having spent £300 and had already reached the limit - who now wouldn't dream of shopping in Warehouse unless they had a VERY VERY good sale on!

I love getting a good bargain though and have turned into my mother overnight without realising it ;0) (oh how I used to mock when they pulled out the vouchers when we were kids!).

xx

salesaddict

Anglea wrote: »

Why salesaddict?

I remember getting really pervy attention from weird looking men - comb overs, strange coloured bad suits , shorter blokes whose eye line match my chest, that horrible man that wore beige shorts and used to put his hand down my back.at every opportunity.........you get all those as well as decent looking blokes :rotfl:

I wonder what mippy's take is on this subject.

I just think its so curvy, womanly and sexy. I love the hour glass figure look.
I never thought about the pervy side of it.
Perhaps I will take comfort from that when I buy my next padded bra:D

NGlady

ms_london wrote: »

once unemployed who went into Warehouse, who now wouldn't dream of shopping in Warehouse unless they had a VERY VERY good sale on!


xx

How I can relate to that, im the Unemployed girl at the moment still trying to shop in warehouse/oasis - I always go straight to the sale rail though, but still, I should be in primark!

Welcome ms london Very honest post from you.

salesaddict

ms_london wrote: »

Hope you don't mind me popping in and saying hello :0)

I was in debt of around £19,000 a few years ago, and this debt was run up by 'going out', and squandering it all on clothes, hair, makeup etc etc. This was ultimately down to low self esteem and I didn't realise how materialistic I had become until I couldn't borrow another penny and had to struggle to pay it off! (that wasn't fun, but still taught me some great lessons!).

I get a lot of compliments at work on what I wear, but it makes me laugh, because most of my clothes are from charity shops / primark and feel 'old' and 'scruffy' to me, I guess it goes to show, doesn't it! Although I take pride in my appearance, I now do it 'budget' - a girl who used to spend £20 on moisturiser now swears on Aldi £3.49 serum! a girl who was once unemployed who went into Warehouse, opened a store card, and left within an hour having spent £300 and had already reached the limit - who now wouldn't dream of shopping in Warehouse unless they had a VERY VERY good sale on!

I love getting a good bargain though and have turned into my mother overnight without realising it ;0) (oh how I used to mock when they pulled out the vouchers when we were kids!).

xx

Hello Ms London

I love your user name. Your story is really interesting. I hope your not just popping in I hope you will visit this thread regularly.:)

Have you got your own thread about how you paid the debt off, or are paying the debt off?

Anglea

Salesaddict, re the flirting and self- esteem. I was wondering if you are also have the people pleaser personality? . I've got myself into a few situations in the past when people have misinterpreted my 'being friendly' chats as a come on. :mad: It also happens with ordinary people who are lonely - women etc, and because I'm always friendly with strangers and a good listener they believe they've found their new best friend then start expecting things I can't give them.

Hi ms London, well done for turning your life around and getting a grip on those shopping and socialising habits.