Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

salesaddict

Anglea wrote: »

Hi everyone

This thread has been very busy today, I had about 3 pages to read.

I only did some necessary shopping today and when I got it home laughed as it reminded me of the Generation Game e.g. tent pegs, bin liners, 4 greeting cards, cushion.

I was about to break my 'no books' resolution as I was looking through numerous bookshelves, luckily didn't see anything I wanted.

Salesaddict, I'm always complimenting strangers on their clothes. What I always find is that women say' oh, this cheap thing'.

On the self-esteem and nice clothes issue. You are either dressing up because you truly enjoy doing it, or because you are trying to create an image that will cause some kind of reaction in others.

I have to confess that a lot of my actions over the years have been about this 'impression' thing, not with clothes as much as other things. I mentioned before that I felt very alienated after I married and I ended up feeling invisible, so over the years I took on a number of different identities (I don't mean aliases )

So I wonder Salesaddict what is your reason - to make people notice you, be interested, make them believe you are well off or just because you like dressing up?

HI Anglea,

well I do love dressing up for myself alone. If I was on a desert island I would be just the same, assuming I had access to all my stuff.
But I also want to be considered attractive by others too.
I definitely do have low self esteem and I can identify with the 'oh this old thing' response instead of a much more polite 'oh thanks'

Mags30

salesaddict wrote: »

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No it's not hard work at all. I find the whole process of putting my make up on and choosing what to wear very therapeutic.

I do enjoy it but sometimes I just can't be bothered. I wouldn't spend 15 minutes doing my face just to go go out for a bottle of milk. If I'm driving somewhere I just dress to be comfortable. When people are used to seeing you looking dressed up they tend to react a bit strange when you look different. My postman sometimes sees me without make-up:D

Anglea wrote: »

On the self-esteem and nice clothes issue. You are either dressing up because you truly enjoy doing it, or because you are trying to create an image that will cause some kind of reaction in others.

So I wonder Salesaddict what is your reason - to make people notice you, be interested, make them believe you are well off or just because you like dressing up?

All of the above for me. I rarely mention that I bought things on the bargain rail, I don't really admit to my financial worries much if at all. I pay a mortgage on my own and I like people to think I'm managing better than I am.

I also admit to using my clothes to make people notice me. As a teenager I used to go to see a band that had a very glamorous female in it. I was fascinated by her and wanted to be like her. Not in the unrealistic sense of wanting to be Cheryl Cole. This woman wasn't a celebrity with stylists helping her and free clothes to choose from. I copied her in the same way teenagers copy Cheryl Cole, I grew my hair long, started to wear dresses which I had never done before. A few years later I was just like her.

ejbg2001

Hey all, just catching up... been a bit out of it as I have just hurt my back and its really killing.... Doc says its muscle spasm after pulling a muscle the other night....

It's so bad I went into WHSmiths at the train station and came out not spending anything... woot (ouch). Its amazing how pain really takes the joy out of anything.

I'd say it was an NSD but I had to get a taxi to the docs...

I might get a NSD tomorrow, but Friday is payday/bill day and I have to pay out for my prescription too!

Ange... hope your tooth is better soon!

Mags30

salesaddict wrote: »

But I also want to be considered attractive by others too.

Doesn't everyone? That's kind of normal:)

NGlady

EJ - is it me or is sheffield train station a spending magnet :S I tend to spend about ten quid when I enter there, the papershop near the burger king do amazing indian samosas! :O

ejbg2001

Oh God NG, you are so right.... from WHSmiths, to M&S and all the food shops.... Mind you my Bite card (will dig out the link to sign up) gives 20% off most foodie shops there. Not that I try and spend there.... honest....

lisainglasgow

I have to agree with other people, I always notice what other people are wearing and I hope people notice me too! I always dress nicely for work although I don't tend to do as much at home but I still like to look OK. People do often compliment me on my outfits which is nice - I think we all like to get that from time to time!
To stop me buying new stuff too often I focus on what people have complimented me on - like a skirt - and I look at what other outfits I can make with the skirt as a base, with what I already have.
I try to plan my outfits for work in advance so I know everything is ready for me, and if I am feeling a bit crap then I dress up a bit more to give me a boost.

Babafette

velocity.girl wrote: »

Anyway i've gone into a bit too much detail than i would of liked but yep-i'm a fruitloop:mad::(

Nope, you're definitely not a fruit loop. Everybody has their reasons for why they behave the way they do.

salesaddict wrote: »

I always notice what others wear etc and I cannot stop myself from complimenting people. Even strangers at the train station or wherever.

That's really nice and actually I think it would be lovely if more people did this. It's such a simple thing, but that one little compliment can make somebody's day. I'm always too shy to compliment strangers.

verynewmoneysaver

Do other people fell they have to treat themselves to cheer themselves up or reward themselves when something goes well? I know I do. On the subject of compliments I feel really good if anyone compliments me and I always try to compliment people as well, but only if I sincerely like something.

CompletelyLost

Seems like I am the opposite to a lot of you... I dress dowdy so that people don't take any notice of me. I'm very 'big' (height-wise) so prefer to dress down as I don't want to attract even more attention to myself. I always feel like if someone is complimenting me, they're doing it as a joke and it makes me paranoid... that maybe there's motive behind their compliment :S

verynewmoneysaver: I'm a bit like that. Actually I buy when I'm happy, sad, angry, frustrated, bored... basically any extreme emotion.