Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

Anglea

Hi all

Welcome ejbg2001 another crafter

I'm going to have to sort my wardrobe out this week because things have got right out of hand finding something to wear that's not the usual couple of skirts I can prise out. Today I found 2 others but couldn't find anything to go with them, even one item that I'd seen a few days ago had disappeared.

As mentioned before, since I started doing a lot of cleaning this week, I feel much better and I think it's cleared my mind as I finally found a solution to a 3 year puzzle with my doormats :T

Also that strange mouth problem I mentioned earlier in the week, finally discovered what it was - wobbly tooth and abcess. So emergency appt for dentist is on the cards. Been trying every imaginable home remedy including keeping a dry teabag up against the tooth. That tastes weird!

The thought of Souk and collecting eggs in lovely outfits - reminded me of a friend of my parents, she was the original clothes addict and would spend £2,000 a week! And that was when I was young so you can imagine how much that would translate in money these days. :eek:. She even did her gardening in designer high heels and dresses.

I remember her daughter's wedding and she outshone the bride.

ejbg2001

We went through a new management process at work recently, LEAN (check Wikkipedia, its from Toyota...!!! lol) and you think about what you have and what you need.

You can tell how sad I am, I then came home and LEANed my wardrobe. All the summer stuff went into a couple of boxes (I feel the cold so bad, there is No Way I'd wear 'em at the mo) and I sorted my dresses (I hardly wear 'em at work, usually in trousers) into work, home (for some strange reason, I usually prefer to do housework in a dress.... go figure) and other (going out, etc). I now have a lot more room and I'm fighting the temptation to go and buy more...

I just hope my mum doesn't pop round with some clothes friends gave her that might just fit me.... free, but they aren't always the best. I have a white Parka style coat with a busted zip... It'll cost me to get a matching zip, but I keep thinking "Yeah, once I've sorted it, it'll do for next winter..."

Shopaholic AND a hoarder.... sigh!

morocha

nglady.... i am not going till november/december... home is sunny Buenos Aires, Argentina im here cos my Oh is british ...

salesaddict... that must be difficult , depression and a drink problem, hope things get better for you and him

anglea well dome for cleaning the house... and sorting out clothes, with what you said about that lady outshining the bride, reminded me of a wedding where the SIL wore a really big dress, a little tiara and even flowers !!, OMG i dont know why they didnt ask her to leave !! :rotfl:

ejbg2001.. welcome home...

NGlady

Morocha, can I come too please
Omg to your sister in law! What was the brides reaction?

salesaddict

ejbg2001 wrote: »

I just found your thread and it made me think about the journey I have gone through (and am still going through and probably will always be on).

I had a very poor but loved childhood and buying something was a treat. Even food was a luxury. When I got my first Saturday job, I'd buy food treats (luxuries like coleslaw, salami, non-standard things) and hide them from my siblings. My mum is a spendaholic too, splurging when she was in deep depression, so I know what role-model I had.

Once I started working properly and earning I had several challenges that helped me manage. One job paid me every 4 weeks rather than monthly... and ofc bills need paying monthly.. So I set up 2 bank accounts (it was mentioned earlier in the thread), one that the money went into and the second that the bills came out of. This meant that I had the spending money (for food etc) separated and couldn't spend bill money as it was already paid. I think this has saved me so much trouble over the years.

However, I also discovered overdrafts and loans and spent on clothes, books and food. When I had my lbm I was £31000 in debt and had a mortgage of £19000... I owed more unsecured than I owed on my house...

Having no access to other forms of credit (and there was no way I would borrow from family or friends, even if they had the money either) I had to go for a DM plan. This still didn't change my shopping habits much, just meant I had less to spend when I did...

I can remember when our local BHS closed down..... I went in with my debit card and cc and spent £300.... I told myself (and ex-oh) that 1 - The clothes fitted me (I am a petite and finding clothes that fit properly is OMG!) 2 - I needed the clothes to start a new job and we needed new towels and 3 - I was getting fantastic bargains (a suit of jacket, trousers, skirt and waistoat in petite, 2 other jackets, 2 shirts, several sets of underwear and a pair of shoes all in my size, all for £60). My ex-oh was not impressed.

Due to a reorganisation of my debts (needed a new roof) I consolidated and had "no debts" except my larger mortgage. You can see how this appealed to me...

The next time I looked up, I had £1500 racked up on the cc again... My culprits are clothes, especially Primani, crafts and whatever hobby is ruling my life at that moment. So taking strength from MSE I de-cluttered my toiletries (as I don't tend to use much, I had hoarded loads).

I have lots of makeup that I hardly ever use, but I love playing with it occasionally (like a kid), so I'm not going to throw it away, but I have made myself an informal promise not to buy more (won a free sample of a Max Factor mascara so felt REALLY good about not spending £10+ on it) and I found I had 3 full roll-ons that I didn't normally use as I had been buying stick deodorant. I haven't bought another one till I use the roll-ons this year.

Clothing was really difficult until I tried this trick... Go to Primani at the busiest time. Set yourself a mental budget (say £20) and pick up a basket. Think about the items you think you need and try and manage them against the budget. So for example I wanted a jumper at £13 but I also wanted a skirt at £10. I'd haggle with myself till I decided which one I "REALLY" wanted and put it in the basket. I'd have a further look round till I got to my limit. THEN I'd look at the length of the queue....

Barnsley Primani is a VERY busy shop... if the queue stretches several times round the shop, or I'd have to stand in line for more than 5 mins (whichever was longer) then I would think "Is this £20 of stuff worth my time standing in this queue?" 5 times I have tried this and 5 times I have walked out without buying anything...

Crafting magazines and craft supplies were another waekness. Now I am more canny. I have 2 (and only 2) on subscription, so I get the thrill of the postman, and I can look at em in the shops and say "nowt there I haven't already got". With supplies, I am slowly getting into the habit of saying to myself "Have I got this, do I need this and can I make do without it?" If you are a true crafter, you can usually make something with what you have without having to buy it (mostly).

Finally, I have recently started going into clothes shops again and looking at them in a different light. I have set myself a challenge to make clothes this year. So I go into a shop and look at the clothes and think "OK, how do I make something like this? How have they done it and what about it do I like or not like?" As I am a non-standard size I keep thinking of the things I have bought that look great, but def don't fit. I have a lovely dress I bought off ebay a while back, that is too long in the body and I am hoping I'll have the skills to alter it (it would cost me twice as much to have it professionally altered). I am completing (partly by hand) a handbag made from an old pair of ex-oh jeans (and boy does THAT feel good, cutting em up LOL!) and finishing a cross-stitch picture for my current oh that was for Valentines day (we couldn't be together, I'm hoping to finish it before we can get together again...poss Easter).

Another tip is if you work near shops.... don't go out at lunch lol and go straight home afterwards. I make instant mash with stuff for lunch or a sarnie or leftovers and read forums, or a book, or cross-stitch till its time to go back to work.

I always have to fight my urge to spend on food (mmmm cheeeeese...) and I'm reasonably successful when I take my list and food plan, but I know when I go without a guide... ohhhh boy! Before budgeting I used to spend £70-90 pw on food, now its a max of £50 a fortnight.

Taking up a hobby def helps if you find the weekend empty, or decide to do a challenge while out walking with kids... e.g. see how many different kinds of birds you can all see while you are out... or how many different shaped leaves... or if you are at home, help kids make things out of empty boxes etc. You might feel less like wanting to fill your time with shops, and the kids, well one of my happiest memories was sitting at my nan's, with a pair of scissors and an egg box trying to make a seat for my Sindy doll that I'd seen on Blue Peter.

I hope that some of these ideas (if they haven't been mentioned before) help and keep up the good work guys. I know its a hard slog and I'm glad you all know how I feel.

Btw.... I like Mr M's own brand Frazzles... 2packs x 10bags for £2!

What a lovely, thoughtful, kind post. I have listened to all you have said and I will act on it.(ooh not making my own clothes though, I can't even sew a button on)
Thanks so much for your support.:A

salesaddict

ejbg2001 wrote: »

SA, I know what you mean about consolidation. Its not the best but sometimes its the only way to make it manageable or achieveable. And you have the support of people on here when you are good and when you slip a little...

Yes, I am well aware of the dangers of getting into even more debt if we don't change our ways. If I did that I honestly don't think I could live with myself. I won't let that happen.

salesaddict

Anglea wrote: »

Hi all

Welcome ejbg2001 another crafter

I'm going to have to sort my wardrobe out this week because things have got right out of hand finding something to wear that's not the usual couple of skirts I can prise out. Today I found 2 others but couldn't find anything to go with them, even one item that I'd seen a few days ago had disappeared.

As mentioned before, since I started doing a lot of cleaning this week, I feel much better and I think it's cleared my mind as I finally found a solution to a 3 year puzzle with my doormats :T

Also that strange mouth problem I mentioned earlier in the week, finally discovered what it was - wobbly tooth and abcess. So emergency appt for dentist is on the cards. Been trying every imaginable home remedy including keeping a dry teabag up against the tooth. That tastes weird!

The thought of Souk and collecting eggs in lovely outfits - reminded me of a friend of my parents, she was the original clothes addict and would spend £2,000 a week! And that was when I was young so you can imagine how much that would translate in money these days. :eek:. She even did her gardening in designer high heels and dresses.

I remember her daughter's wedding and she outshone the bride.

Despite myself, I really love the sound of her:)
(I have no wish to ever outshine my darling dd though)

salesaddict

Anglea

I hope you get that abcess sorted soon. They can be really nasty can't they?

I think I would feel a lot better if I could get the time to declutter.
I am spending a lot of time at my Dad's and I work full time so there is only time for the basic cleaning and not any in depth stuff.
Dh has promised me he will start the Spring cleaning this week. We shall see......

morocha

ngladys, it was not my sil... you wouldn't dare !! hahah... it was my friend's SIL... everybody was fine about it, they kind of knew she as a bit mad... anyway she is not part of the family anymore now.
you can come if you want... to the sunshine and the best meat ever... umm.. i miss the food.

ejbg2001

I thought i couldnt sew till i tried sa, running stitch can help u make lots of stuff . Give it a go, u might be surprised lol.

k speak to u all tomorrow!