Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

CompletelyLost

verynewmoneysaver wrote: »

I have that book too, CompletelyLost. Just started reading it. It seems a great book.

Yeah, I got about 1/3rd of the way through it last night and it has some great advice, it really makes you think!

Mags30 wrote: »

It's ok to buy things sometimes. It depends on what your financial situation is too. I mean if bills are going upaid/are in arrears or you are getting letters from the bank everyday then it's a problem.

Do you guys drink/smoke? I don't apart from an occasional glass (bottle) of wine so I sort of justify buying things that way.

I don't drink or smoke (I used to drink but can't anymore). I rarely go out socially either. The only thing I have is the odd Chinese takeaway maybe once or twice a fortnight and it's never more than a tenner. I don't have any debt and I can afford the stuff I buy, I just don't need it as I have a million other things that I've bought and never worn yet. Clutter is my problem.

I don't know if my shopping habits are any better or worse than most people my age..? I don't know many people my own age. I know a lot of people my age are out buying outfits every weekend for clubbing, spending £50 a night on drinks & a taxi home, etc etc, so I probably spend less than some of them. I think the difference is that they're buying things and actually get the wear out of them - I don't and probably never will

Anglea

Hi everyone,

Just a quick visit as I'm about to go out so haven't read the posts properly, I've only got one main thing I want to buy in the charity shops - those illustrated cut out photo albums. I'm hoping I don't return with anything else, unless it's necessary.

I have to admit, that yesterday's cleaning made me feel great, better than I've felt in ages. Much better than shopping or comfort eating. I've even done a bit this morning which is unheard of on a Saturday.

Good Luck to all of you today with your shopping goals and catch up later.

fedupandskint

Hi there,

I can completely identify with many of the posts on here. When I went through a long low period of my life when many things went wrong I went through a phase of non stop spending with money I didn't have. And this becam a habit and one that became deeply engrained within me

I went overboard with skincare and make up and other useless items. Eventually the penny dropped and I spent most of last year decluttering many of these items via ebay etc which brought a sense of freedom.

I can feel the trigger to spend when I feel low and I have banned myself from shopping on QVC and sent the last 2 items back which I ordered when I felt down.

All I can say is it's been a long journey of recovery for me and it's not over yet. When I've used every bit of skincare up - lets see how I cope then! There's still a long way and deep stocks to go as yet

As for clothes - dealt with this easier and as I've stopped 'going shopping' as a leisure activity it's been easier and I don't browse for a look anymore and guess what I don't buy!

I didn't realise until I stumbled across this site that there were other people in similar situations. Then I knew if others had changed then I could too and it wasn't too late for me.

I now know that buying things will not make me feel better and I don't feel a buzz from it.

I've stopped the Saturday browse/shop = spend and stop in for most of them now and have a NSD. I nip to the supermarket with a list before work on a Fri (early!) and run round quickly and leave sticking mainly to the list then the shopping is done and removes my need to go on a Sat

It's taken a long time to get this far and still someway to go, I'll get there.

salesaddict

Souk08 wrote: »

Hey SA, what do you mean about the lifestyle?

I want to be this glamourous, well turned out, financially secure, together forty something.

Well I am forty something:o

salesaddict

Mags30 wrote: »

It's ok to buy things sometimes. It depends on what your financial situation is too. I mean if bills are going upaid/are in arrears or you are getting letters from the bank everyday then it's a problem.

Do you guys drink/smoke? I don't apart from an occasional glass (bottle) of wine so I sort of justify buying things that way.

HI Mags,

I have recently been in dire straits financially. We have remortgaged now.
I do know that that is not a good mse thing to do but it will give us 2 years for my dh to retrain and for us to live on my salary in the meantime. I do realise that we have only postponed our problems, if he does not sort himself out. He has many issues that he needs to deal with but at least I can sleep at night and concentrate on my Dad's Chemo treatment and health issues.
I am tee-total and don't smoke. My dh has always said to me that shopping is my hobby and I should enjoy it.

He did not say that during this last year that he has been out of work. When I think I have bought more, and compusively than I have ever done in my life.

I have tried to be open with my teenage son about my problem as I do realise what a bad example I have set him. He seems to understand this life lesson.

salesaddict

fedupandskint wrote: »

Hi there,

I can completely identify with many of the posts on here. When I went through a long low period of my life when many things went wrong I went through a phase of non stop spending with money I didn't have. And this becam a habit and one that became deeply engrained within me

I went overboard with skincare and make up and other useless items. Eventually the penny dropped and I spent most of last year decluttering many of these items via ebay etc which brought a sense of freedom.

I can feel the trigger to spend when I feel low and I have banned myself from shopping on QVC and sent the last 2 items back which I ordered when I felt down.

All I can say is it's been a long journey of recovery for me and it's not over yet. When I've used every bit of skincare up - lets see how I cope then! There's still a long way and deep stocks to go as yet

As for clothes - dealt with this easier and as I've stopped 'going shopping' as a leisure activity it's been easier and I don't browse for a look anymore and guess what I don't buy!

I didn't realise until I stumbled across this site that there were other people in similar situations. Then I knew if others had changed then I could too and it wasn't too late for me.

I now know that buying things will not make me feel better and I don't feel a buzz from it.

I've stopped the Saturday browse/shop = spend and stop in for most of them now and have a NSD. I nip to the supermarket with a list before work on a Fri (early!) and run round quickly and leave sticking mainly to the list then the shopping is done and removes my need to go on a Sat

It's taken a long time to get this far and still someway to go, I'll get there.

thankyou for posting this. This really helps me. I am no way at the stage you are at, with your lists and your wonderful restraint. I know this sound a bit daft and unrelated. But I have n't eaten chocolate since Ash Wednesday. That is something I never thought I would be able to do. I would normally eat a family size bar at least each day. I am starting to think if I can keep to this for the whole of Lent then I can do anything. But I have had these false dawns before. Coming on here for support really helps me.

salesaddict

verynewmoneysaver wrote: »

You sound a bit like me, although I would have probably just got the dress. You do sound a good shopper though and it's lovely to get a bargain . It's a hobby isn't it. I think you just need to replace it a bit with something else. I belong to a gym and if I go there I don't spend so much time shopping. I've made a very good friend there too which is great. I do have to pay for the gym membership but I thnk it's worth it.

Yes you are right but as yet I don't know what to replace it with.
It certainly won't be the Gym:o

You are doing really well and I am so glad you have made a friend there too.

NGlady

Well...
I have to say im pretty pleased with myself. Im going on a 2nd date tonight and went to have my eyebrows waxed earlier, was wondering round newlook waiting for my lift and I was literally standing in queue with a dress I thought I just had to have for tonight. Its black and white spotty with a love heart cut out back :O But I managed to stop myself So this thread is really working for me For the first time in years I looked at it and made myself justify the dress and exactly what I would wear with it, and I couldnt So that would have been £28 down the swanie

Not a clue what to wear tonight now lol.

verynewmoneysaver

Well done NGlady. Hope you have a lovely evening.

verynewmoneysaver

You do seem to have a lot of things to worry about at the moment salesaddict, with your husband and your Dad. I used to shop a lot when I was going through a bad time, but I was very into charity shopping which didn't make me feel quite so guilty. I don't do anything very strenuous at the gym, mainly just yoga and tai-chi which really help me relax and take my mind off things.