Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

debidoodle

Kaz2904 wrote: »

Can you return it? Don't beat yourself up about it. Try to figure out why you do it. You said that your part of your house was not great, are you depressed and spending to escape your home surroundings?
I know when our house was at its worst, my spending was at its worst.

I can totally relate to this, I am much more settled now and realise that I do not have to spend frivously.

CompletelyLost

Kaz2904 wrote: »

Can you return it? Don't beat yourself up about it. Try to figure out why you do it. You said that your part of your house was not great, are you depressed and spending to escape your home surroundings?
I know when our house was at its worst, my spending was at its worst.

I can return it. I really don't know why I do it... maybe because I haven't been to *real* shops for days? Usually I spend a pound here and there and that satisfies the urge to spend, but I haven't been to shops since Monday (long time for me).

But you're right about my surroundings. My room is in such a state that I have been sleeping in a different room for the past few days to escape it I know that sounds bad and I will eventually tidy it. Just thinking about tidying it sends me into panic mode, all the stuff. But if anything that should put me off buying more stuff, shouldn't it?

NGlady wrote: »

Can you do that? Do dummy listings for now and then put items on tomorrow ?

I have, I just put random stuff in the title bar and decription box, put the price in, and submitted the listing.

NGlady

Thats such a true thing Completelylost. If you dont go to the shops for a long time, you get this urge and you just have to buy something. I know, pot calling kettle black with me, but if you normally go shopping say everyday, is it possible for the first fortnight, to make it every other day, then spend another fortune making it every third day and breaking the habbit that way?

verynewmoneysaver

Have put some shoes on ebay for sale. Stayed in and did the housework yesterday, although I was tempted by more shoes in the Evans sale! I very rarely go to the clothes shops, but can't resist an online sale!

salesaddict

I failed again on Wednesday. I went into M&S to try on some shoes that I want if they go in the sales. They had one little sale rail with a load of rubbish on. But, as is so often the case with me, if I hunt through I find a gem. So there was my gem a dress that started off at £130 (the speziale italian designed stuff)
A couple of other shoppers said to me, what a beautiful dress. It was reduced down to £49 but there was no way I was going to pay that. The sales assistant said oh thats so beautiful I 'll see if its reduced further. £39, I could'nt resist.
So all the elements are there for what makes me buy. An item that I would not even consider if it was full price no matter how much I liked it, admired by other people and down to what I consider to be a good price.
This dress will go perfectly with the shoes that I wanted if they go in the sale and will be great for a retirement do I am going to where I haven't seen some people for 10 years and where I really want to look my best. Then I could not resist 2 sets of reduced cerisio underwear sets. One in cerise one in black. Then a lovely v neck black jumper down to £9 so I spent £64 in total.
Then as always happens to me. I start to panic. Why have I bought this dress?
I will look over the top, I don't have this lifestyle.
But as I was trying to explain to my dh. I am trying to buy into a lifestyle I don't have and never will have. He, as always, tells me I do deserve the dress and I am a very good shopper. Well, he doesn't always say that, but he does if he thinks I am upset.
The only thing I can say is at least I can analyse my behaviour a bit more clearly but as I said to a friend last night, I don't know as yet how to make that leap to change my behaviour.

verynewmoneysaver

You sound a bit like me, although I would have probably just got the dress. You do sound a good shopper though and it's lovely to get a bargain . It's a hobby isn't it. I think you just need to replace it a bit with something else. I belong to a gym and if I go there I don't spend so much time shopping. I've made a very good friend there too which is great. I do have to pay for the gym membership but I thnk it's worth it.

Souk08

Hey SA, what do you mean about the lifestyle?

CompletelyLost

NGlady wrote: »

Thats such a true thing Completelylost. If you dont go to the shops for a long time, you get this urge and you just have to buy something. I know, pot calling kettle black with me, but if you normally go shopping say everyday, is it possible for the first fortnight, to make it every other day, then spend another fortune making it every third day and breaking the habbit that way?

To be honest I wasn't deliberately staying away from the shops... I have been unwell so have been indoors most of the week (apart from college). I think I will go out today though, I still haven't returns that bloody coat to Debenhams :mad:

salesaddict wrote: »

I failed again on Wednesday. I went into M&S to try on some shoes that I want if they go in the sales. They had one little sale rail with a load of rubbish on. But, as is so often the case with me, if I hunt through I find a gem. So there was my gem a dress that started off at £130 (the speziale italian designed stuff)
A couple of other shoppers said to me, what a beautiful dress. It was reduced down to £49 but there was no way I was going to pay that. The sales assistant said oh thats so beautiful I 'll see if its reduced further. £39, I could'nt resist.
So all the elements are there for what makes me buy. An item that I would not even consider if it was full price no matter how much I liked it, admired by other people and down to what I consider to be a good price.
This dress will go perfectly with the shoes that I wanted if they go in the sale and will be great for a retirement do I am going to where I haven't seen some people for 10 years and where I really want to look my best. Then I could not resist 2 sets of reduced cerisio underwear sets. One in cerise one in black. Then a lovely v neck black jumper down to £9 so I spent £64 in total.
Then as always happens to me. I start to panic. Why have I bought this dress?
I will look over the top, I don't have this lifestyle.
But as I was trying to explain to my dh. I am trying to buy into a lifestyle I don't have and never will have. He, as always, tells me I do deserve the dress and I am a very good shopper. Well, he doesn't always say that, but he does if he thinks I am upset.
The only thing I can say is at least I can analyse my behaviour a bit more clearly but as I said to a friend last night, I don't know as yet how to make that leap to change my behaviour.

Is your husbands justification perhaps encouraging you to keep shopping? I know my mum plays a big part in me buying/keeping certain items. She makes me feel like I deserve them... when the truth is that most of the time I don't because I already have a lot of stuff that I could wear.

Anyway like you said, at least you are thinking your purchases over now. That is progress of some sort. Though I know it's easy enough to sit and analyse your behaviour... the hard part is actually putting what you've learnt into practice

=======================

Mr Catalogue Man came and collected a parcel of stuff which was taking up half of my room. the parcel was about 6ftx6ft. So at least one corner of my room is looking slightly better (i.e. you can see the floor now). Should get near enough £100 refunded from that lot.

The other day I bought a book about clutter from Amazon (with vouchers so I didn't spend any cash) and started reading it last night, and it's really good. I recommend it to anyone who has problems with compulsive shopping, not just general clutter problems. It's this one -
http://www.amazon.co.uk/No-More-Clutter-Sue-Kay/dp/0340836776/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1266665813&sr=8-1

verynewmoneysaver

I have that book too, CompletelyLost. Just started reading it. It seems a great book.

Mags30

CompletelyLost wrote: »

I spent £16 on something I shouldn't have today. I don't even know why I bought it?! :mad: what a moron.

salesaddict wrote: »

I failed again on Wednesday. I went into M&S to try on some shoes that I want if they go in the sales. They had one little sale rail with a load of rubbish on. But, as is so often the case with me, if I hunt through I find a gem. So there was my gem a dress that started off at £130 (the speziale italian designed stuff)
A couple of other shoppers said to me, what a beautiful dress. It was reduced down to £49 but there was no way I was going to pay that. The sales assistant said oh thats so beautiful I 'll see if its reduced further. £39, I could'nt resist.
So all the elements are there for what makes me buy. An item that I would not even consider if it was full price no matter how much I liked it, admired by other people and down to what I consider to be a good price.
This dress will go perfectly with the shoes that I wanted if they go in the sale and will be great for a retirement do I am going to where I haven't seen some people for 10 years and where I really want to look my best. Then I could not resist 2 sets of reduced cerisio underwear sets. One in cerise one in black. Then a lovely v neck black jumper down to £9 so I spent £64 in total.
Then as always happens to me. I start to panic. Why have I bought this dress?
I will look over the top, I don't have this lifestyle.
But as I was trying to explain to my dh. I am trying to buy into a lifestyle I don't have and never will have. He, as always, tells me I do deserve the dress and I am a very good shopper. Well, he doesn't always say that, but he does if he thinks I am upset.
The only thing I can say is at least I can analyse my behaviour a bit more clearly but as I said to a friend last night, I don't know as yet how to make that leap to change my behaviour.

It's ok to buy things sometimes. It depends on what your financial situation is too. I mean if bills are going upaid/are in arrears or you are getting letters from the bank everyday then it's a problem.

Do you guys drink/smoke? I don't apart from an occasional glass (bottle) of wine so I sort of justify buying things that way.