Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

Frogletina

Anglea wrote: »

Yesterday was very bad day. I phoned someone. On a twist of fate their phone was engaged. So I decided to visit them. They have that victim and martyr personality so everything is always about them and everyone else is making them suffer. Yesterday it really got to me and I got into a seriously bad argument. In the end I was acting a bit crazy.

I didn't go out today as I didn't feel up to it. However yesterday after the confrontation I think I was in shock and I got home and cut my hair (I had planned to trim it in the week) probably not a good idea to do it in that state of mind. It looks strange today.

Sorry to hear about your last 2 days - don't worry about the hair, I'm sure it can be sorted

I know what you mean about being with people that are not good for you - I often think that I wish I had some 'normal' friends, and I have to say that I think my virtual friends understand me more than ones in real life.

I think my problem sometimes is that I never argue and people get away with saying things to me, and act in a way that others would not tolerate. I need to reinvent myself

Frogletina

Anglea

Hi all

Frogletina, it's lovely the way that gym membership is working for you if you are going there so often. I bet you can catch up with the housework quite easily if you need to.

As you know I put off buying what is necessary and I think some of the reason is like you have discovered, you buy something and then see it reduced a few days later. Is there anyway you can do a return and get it cheaper?

Lingerie - is it realistic that you will lose the weight? I hope so. I'm asking this because of all the times I bought something believing I would change shape but didn't.

Years ago when I put on some weight I told myself I wouldn't buy anything new unless I slimmed down. We're still waiting..........:)

As to being assertive. It can be a good idea to put your point across but in a situation like I had yesterday, it was like hitting my head against a brick wall. Some people either cannot or will not ever accept there is anything wrong with their way of thinking and acting. So hoping they will change and see your point of view is pointless.

It isn't always good to confront people either because it can lead to a lot of unpleasantness. So think twice Frogletina how you decide to reinvent yourself.

CompletelyLost

Evening,

Anglea - sorry to hear about your confrontation. I'm usually quite a passive person... but if something really bothers me, I have the tendency to errupt and it always shocks people because I'm usually so quiet. Sometimes it is better to get it all out - holding it in can be just as bad. At least the person knows where you stand.

Frogletina - glad to hear you're enjoying the gym. Re: the lingerie... if it is more expensive stuff then I'd be tempted to wait a month or two to see if my size/shape changes after going to the gym. Though I know that despite losing a lot of weight, I have stayed exactly the same bra size (grrrrrr!!) - only my bottom half has gotten smaller, but that's always how it works for me!

Well, despite my mother trying to persuade me to keep some jeans, I knew I wouldn't wear them so I returned them. You know your jeans are too tight when you get a 15-minute workout when putting them on in the morning!!! :S

Caffeine-wise, slight blip today but it wasn't entirely my fault. I had a cup of tea in the morn... then my mum made me one. I told her for decaff and she gave me caffeinated. TBF I did realise it tasted different, but didn't ask until I'd drank it **cheater**

Frogletina

Anglea wrote: »

As you know I put off buying what is necessary and I think some of the reason is like you have discovered, you buy something and then see it reduced a few days later. Is there anyway you can do a return and get it cheaper?

Lingerie - is it realistic that you will lose the weight? I hope so. I'm asking this because of all the times I bought something believing I would change shape but didn't.

Years ago when I put on some weight I told myself I wouldn't buy anything new unless I slimmed down. We're still waiting..........:)

- think twice Frogletina how you decide to reinvent yourself.

I've already used the umbrella, only about a £1 difference in the sales as the one I picked was £12.50 while newer stock was £14, so not too bothered

RE Lingerie = I'm sure I will lose weight, and I will buy the same size as the ones I bought last when I was a stone lighter - will be a while before I need a different size - altogether I want to lose 2 stone now

Regarding re-inventing, I just need to be a little more assertive at times. Find myself agreeing to do things that sometimes I'd rather not do.

CompletelyLost wrote: »

Re: the lingerie... if it is more expensive stuff then I'd be tempted to wait a month or two to see if my size/shape changes after going to the gym. Though I know that despite losing a lot of weight, I have stayed exactly the same bra size (grrrrrr!!) - only my bottom half has gotten smaller, but that's always how it works for me!

Won't be too expensive, just wanted a change - I've only really got 3 nice sets that fit. I'll see what's in the Debenhams sale

Frogletina

Anglea

Hi all how are you today?

I've shocked myself. Firstly I spent hours today decluttering my financial papers, filing, and then I went out and bought some of the necessary items. I had difficulty walking home as I had that many bags - very arkward items as well - pillows, towels, tray, greengrocers and frozen stuff LOL

Haven't bought any goodies for me since the start.

Thanks for your explanation Frogletina about the shopping.

Re saying no. It's much easier to say if you avoid any explanations. And if anyone asks why, say it doesn't suit my plans, or it's not for me.

If it's something that you might want to do, tell them that you will check your diary. That leaves you in control.

If it's someone asking you that is controlling or manipulative and won't let you say no, then don't turn up on the day and say you had a migraine unless you have the nerve to tell them the real reason.

I can't believe it. Karma for my argument. I just dropped my food all over the carpet and behind the computer :mad:

The worst thing to do is to come up with elaborate excuses because it can make you anxious and feel guilty so you are more likely to change your mind and say 'yes'.

Frogletina

Anglea wrote: »

Re saying no. It's much easier to say if you avoid any explanations. And if anyone asks why, say it doesn't suit my plans, or it's not for me.

If it's something that you might want to do, tell them that you will check your diary. That leaves you in control.

If it's someone asking you that is controlling or manipulative and won't let you say no, then don't turn up on the day and say you had a migraine unless you have the nerve to tell them the real reason.

The worst thing to do is to come up with elaborate excuses because it can make you anxious and feel guilty so you are more likely to change your mind and say 'yes'.

Great advice Anglea - many thanks

Frogletina

Anglea

Back again after spending over an hour trying to clean my dinner up off the floor, the computer and everywhere behind the desk which I couldn't move so had to lie on the floor to try and reach the bits. Yuk!

I've learnt my lesson eating at the computer

Glad you found the advice ok Frogletina.

CL how are you today with the caffeine. I know what you mean about a workout with jeans LOL

Did you delete one of your posts? I couldn't find the one about your rich friend. I forgot to comment before on that. Apart from people always trying to 'one up' everything you do, including having an illness worse than you LOL, there are also those that will dismiss anything you do or buy. They say 'chance will be a fine thing' and then go on how hard their life is and try and make you feel guilty.

Sometimes it's the very wealthy that are the worst for that. I've had problems with some who took penny pinching to new heights.

NGlady2

Afternoon girlies - hows everybody today?
Wonder whats happend to all our 'old crowd'
Used to love the stories of that (sorry cant remember usernames!!) ladies 'friends' and all the other girlies coming on to say hello. Hope there all doing well too

Anglea

Hi NG

I'm ok

Do you mean hearing about the friends with benefits?

Frogletina

Hi everyone

Well, I bought a new set of lingerie from Debenhams, had to order the bra though as my size is never there. Got it for £14.80, asked about the free knickers to go with it but was told not given on orders from the internet! However, she said take them to the counter with the order form - so I did and got them free. Plus I bought another couple of pairs. Just need to wait about 10 days for the bra to arrive now. Pink candy stripes - gorgeous range

Also bought 2 other umbrellas, one large and a mini one but realised when I got home that the discount was not applied properly - I chose the ones with the lower prices showing and discount was on the newer prices!

Then I went to Marks and Spencer and bought 2 swimsuits @ £35 each and a tankini, top £25 and bottoms £18 - never spent so much on swimwear in one go. However, with all the swimming I am doing and my hols in May, they will certainly get some use. And the assistant gave me a voucher for £10 off.

Later an hour in the gym and 10 lengths in the swimming pool, and out a couple of hours tonight - shattered now!

My water leak which Severn Trent 'fixed' the other day is worse - so they need to come back out! And my built in microwave has packed in exactly the same as my neighbours has, so hopefully we can find someone to fix the two of them. Built in applicances look nice but can be dreadful when they need fixing - time will tell