Miscarriage support

grastgirl

Athensgeorgia - Sorry for your loss.

I know it's strange about your nephew's girlfriend, but something similar happened to my aunt (I think, I was about 11 when it happened).

She was PG, and apparently had an early MC (I don't think she needed hospital help with it, but was obviously upset enough that an 11 year old noticed). Then next thing I hear she's pregnant again, and it's all a bit odd as the scan says the baby is older than it should be. To add more confusion the dates also didn't match with the dates of the miscarried baby, so they weren't twins where one had miscarried.

The explanation I heard was that she had continued to ovulate while pregnant, and the second baby survived because she didn't have the miscarried baby removed at the hospital.

pigpen

Manc.. I conceived 3 weeks after my ERPC 4 times one I mc'd due to Downs and was pg again straight after with twins and I then mc'd 1 of them but have my 21 year old to show for it... I rarely had ov signs.. I get ov pain but that is all. It can happen very quickly after.

MancMama4

Thank you pigpen, I'm feeling better again today so hoping to keep BDing and who knows?! Xx

athensgeorgia

The whole MC situation is just awful. The physical effects aren't great but the psychological effects I'm finding are worse. Our baby wasn't planned but now I just want it back, I hadn't considered more children but really do want another now. I want AF to start to help my body get back to normal but I don't want it because it's a reminder of what's not there. I keep having sore boobs and I think it's psychosomatic, it's not the same as pregnancy sore or even menstrual cycle sore. I just wanna feel like me again and not be so consumed with it all.

I've read a lot online about women falling pg straight after mc and being more fertile so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you Manc.

MancMama4

The psychological effects are definitely a lot worse than I could have imagined... the constant overthinking and obsession with if/when it will happen again and if it will stick, and how I will cope if it doesn't, or if it does! This is the most mentally draining experience of my life. I want AF too. I just want to know where I'm up to! It's so frustrating. Thinking of you athens and hoping you fall again soon as well. Maybe we will both end up back on the less than 12 week thread sooner than we think. Here's hoping x

pigpen

I found after my first mc I spent every day of every pregnancy waiting for blood, expecting the worst so I only got a pleasant surprise when things were ok. Even after a healthy baby I still wait for the worst.

I never tell anyone about the pregnancy until as late as possible.. at 18 weeks my partner and my oldest 6 children know about this one.. in a way it is quite nice no one else knowing. it cant be hidden forever but the longer the better because until they are felt moving constantly nothing is certain.

I'm so used to expecting a loss I don't get upset when it happens now, due dates go unnoticed..

When I lost my first my mother said I was 'pathetic' for being upset. the 3rd she screamed at me for being 'unreliable' because I'd had the ERPC in the morning and refused to pick her 2 daughters up from school in the afternoon making me unreliable clearly.. and all the 'its for the best' comments make me want to punch people.. best for who??

You see why I never tell anyone when I do lose one? I can never decide if people are insensitive because they are embarrassed and don't know what to say or if they are genuinely stupid and rude and ignorant!

flutterbyuk25

athensgeorgia and mancmama - the psychological affects are horrible and I'll be honest may stay with you for a long time. My mc was in May last year and I pretty much had a meltdown every month when my period came, and one horrific moment in October where I just felt everything crumble due to not concieving again.

I fell pregnant in Nov, and have spent every waking moment worrying it will happen again, checking after every toilet trip, googling every twinge. I was petrified at the scan in case it was a mmc. I'm now 14 weeks, and I am starting to hope that it is real now.

Don't give up hope, but don't beat yourself up if it doesn't happen straight away.

Thinking of you both xx

lulu_92

I second flutterby, the psychological effects are horrible and have the potential to last ages. If I had not fallen pregnant in August after my mc in June I think I would still be a mess.

I'm 25 weeks and I still check toilet tissue!

MancMama4

pigpen, flutter and lulu thank you for being so honest and for sharing your experiences. It really does help to hear about others who have been through this. I am sending so much love and positivity to you all for your pregnancies x

MancMama4

I think AF is here, 3 weeks after my EPRC! So I must have ov'd the week after. I'm relieved in a way as it shows things are getting back to "normal" (whatever that even is) but also sad as AF just reminds me of what I'm not... guess I will start ov tracking again properly next week, here we go again X