Miscarriage support

athensgeorgia

Hmm, I think I'll use that as my date too. Although the spotting started on the 18th, the A&E doctor confirmed it on the 21st. I only asked because I wasn't sure if there was a guideline of bleeding for x amount of days or x days after the bleeding stops AF starts or x days after my confirmed date and so on.

I bought my pg test on my lunch hour today. I was dreading it but I'm sure when I test on Saturday it will be worse. I was even considering of not testing because of the stress of it but DH convinced me if there was something not right that needed looking in to I wouldn't know without testing.

MancMama4

Hi All,

So you were quite right, I wasn't up to being at work in the end, I had to come home on Tuesday, I just couldn't cope, everything just got too much.

I went to see my GP on Wednesday and he offered me a sicknote until Monday but I decided to just work from home on my laptop which my boss was fine with. So I've just been doing that all week and I do feel brighter today. Got a BFN this morning for the first time since I started bleeding which made me think the hormones are almost gone completely now so maybe the worst is over?! Bleeding has also stopped so thinking of BDing this weekend for the first time since if we feel we want to.

Gelly I had also been having the face flushing thing so its good to know that is normal. GP took my BP and all was fine, he said headaches are normal too.

Athens I am so sorry to see you on this thread and to hear your story - I completely understand and empathise with how you are feeling and how you felt when you didn't want to get out of the car - its exactly how I felt sat outside work on Monday morning. I am also finding myself thinking "what if" all the time and resenting occasions I've missed/would have missed because of the pregnancy. I think that those types of feelings are completely natural and I just try and tell myself that every day that passes I am closer to my next pregnancy which will hopefully be the one that sticks.

Be kind to yourself and know that you are not alone Xxx

Gelly123

Hey Manc, lovely to hear from you. I was thinking of you this morning and meant to post but have had a pretty busy day at work which has thankfully calmed down a bit now.

Glad to hear you did at least work from home - I think it was for the best and hopefully by next week, you will feel stronger emotionally to deal with the return but please don't rush back if you don't.

I was surprised by the face flushing too - nobody had told me about that so glad my tip there helped you a bit too.

You might find that the physical effects and crashing of hormones are reducing but don't underestimate the emotional toll it can have on you.

My first MMC/ERPC was by far the worst for me and I did feel like I could cry sporadically for a few months.

Also, don't be surprised if your cycles are skewed for a few months. Mine generally took 1-2 cycles to return to "normal" and a couple of months only last 14-16 days so totally skipped ovulation.

Hope you have a relaxing weekend and stay close to your OH.

Love Gelly
x

MancMama4

Thanks Gelly, I did have a nice weekend in the end, I've been trying lots of coping techniques to help like meditation, visualising and making mood boards etc, not really because I believe all that stuff but its just kept me busy and feeling like I'm doing something! I wouldn't say I'm a spiritual person but I do believe that trying to keep in a positive mindset is the way to go for me.

Back in the office this morning and everyone is being so nice and not patronising or anything which I was worried about.

I was half considering starting to track ovulation again at some point this week. BDing has commenced but not really thinking that it will lead to anything. Just nice to be close to my OH - I definitely think this experience has made us closer than ever.

Athens I hope you are ok, I've been thinking about you x

athensgeorgia

MancMama4 wrote: »

Athens I hope you are ok, I've been thinking about you x

Thank you. I've been thinking about you too.

My nephew's girlfriend MC at the beginning of September, then in November she announced she had had a 12 week scan and they were pleased to announce their new pregnancy after what they had been through. I can't stop thinking about it. Thinking how has she managed to get pg so quick, the dates don't add up, I know not everyone's the same but when she would have fell pg I was still bleeding and certainly not up to BDing. And then think it's another thing to add to the long list of things that upsets me as I was fully expecting to have babies a few weeks apart.

Saturday wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I did my test which was negative and felt a little bit of relief that I could move on but then wished it was still positive because of wanting to still be pg. I really thought it would be positive and something was wrong though. My boobs have been tingly sore for a couple of days and thought I would have to go back to the hospital and get checked out, now I just think it's nature's way of being cruel.

I'm still tearful but physically feel pretty much back to normal. Today's not a good day though, I wish I was still off work but that might be the January blues because I couldn't fully appreciate my Christmas time off work.

I'm unsure what our next steps are though as we weren't ttc but I really wish we were now but part of me thinks it's because of what has happened and practically it's not a good idea.

MancMama4

Every day I don't cry is a milestone...

Today hasn't been great. I've coped well all week and then a friend (who I adore and who deserves this so much after 2 years of trying and fertility treatments) had to subtly let me know she's 13 weeks and had her scan today. She spared sending me the photo.

I'm glad she felt she could share as I don't want special treatment from anyone and I am genuinely over the moon for her after everything... but my heart just shattered for myself and what could have been. We would've only been a month apart in due dates.

I'm staying strong on the outside but inside it still hurts.

athensgeorgia

MancMama4 wrote: »

... but my heart just shattered for myself and what could have been.

I'm staying strong on the outside but inside it still hurts.

Thank you Manc your words have helped me immensely. It sounds just like what I'm going through and gives me comfort knowing I'm not alone in feeling the way I do.

MancMama4

Thank you athens and its given me comfort too to hear how you have been feeling.

At least we are not alone x

Gelly123

Ladies - you are most definitely not alone. It hurts and I'm sorry to say, it will for a while but it does get easier - that I can promise xxx

I was thinking of you both this morning whilst getting ready for work so I was glad to see the thread is active when I checked just a moment ago.

I'm going away tomorrow for a week and will be abroad with very limited wifi so I won't be able to check in and see how you're doing but know that there are some other lovely ladies on here who will keep you company.

Stay strong xxx

MancMama4

Already had a pregnancy announcement and someone bringing a baby in today at work... will I ever feel like the world isn't watching my face when these things happen?! I could actually feel my face burning as I stammered over my words...

19 days since the ERPC and no sign of ov yet... I know it could be weeks... I feel alone again today. My friend who announced was my TTC buddy, she had been trying for a couple of years and was my confidante and sounding board. Now even she has become one of the "others".

Trying not to slip into the darkness again today Xxx