Miscarriage support

tinkwings

MERFE wrote: »

ali the thing is I feel mentally ready to try again its just physically I need to let my body recover properly from all the MCs, and OH is not ready again, I'm not sure if he ever will be and I have to wait till he is. Thing is my wardrobe is full of maternity clothes I can not bring myself to get rid of, the loft is full of baby things. I love my kids and our family is so perfect at the moment but I just feel its not complete without the baby we are supposed to have had.

Sending Huge Hugs Honey. :A

I know what you mean about baby stuff & maternity clothes I finally managed to put my maternity clothes into a storage tub and put them under the bed in the spare room out of sight. All the baby bits are stored in the loft or at my parents. I couldn't get rid as I do want a baby with my new Hubby but i so don't want this to happen again.

I am still waiting to hear from the counselling service.

On the plus side DH and I finally seem to be getting on lots better so I feel that this is a huge plus.

Part of me wants to try again when I OV next weekend another part is scared that I will MC again. It is such a totaly feeling of turmoil.

tinkwings

StarJump wrote: »

Tinkwings, I'm also scared of it happening again but at the same time I cant imagine not ttc at the moment, I feel even worse at the thought of not ttc. If that makes sense.

Hugs to all, x.

Sorry for your loss.

It makes total sense. x

MERFE

tink I'm glad you and OH are getting on better. It hit me and OH hard the first time, he is saying he doesnt want to try till we find out why it is happening which is fair but I dont think the tests are going to show anything.

tinkwings

MERFE wrote: »

tink I'm glad you and OH are getting on better. It hit me and OH hard the first time, he is saying he doesnt want to try till we find out why it is happening which is fair but I dont think the tests are going to show anything.

I can understand that. Are they going to test you & OH to help you find out why????

Mother nature is a cruel lady sometimes. But she is a lady and us ladies are good at dealing with things. We always come back stronger. :A

MERFE

yep, I am going for a fasting blood test up the hospital as soon as I get my car back, OH is still borrowing it grr men. If the blood tests show nothing then I should get referred to the hospital to see a consultant but I'm not sure what they will check for.

whatever doesnt kill us only makes us stronger x

Oh yeah and just remembered now AF is here I'm gonna book a smear for a few weeks time, I've never had one as I've always been pregnant when it was due before.

tinkwings

MERFE wrote: »

yep, I am going for a fasting blood test up the hospital as soon as I get my car back, OH is still borrowing it grr men. If the blood tests show nothing then I should get referred to the hospital to see a consultant but I'm not sure what they will check for.

whatever doesnt kill us only makes us stronger x

Oh yeah and just remembered now AF is here I'm gonna book a smear for a few weeks time, I've never had one as I've always been pregnant when it was due before.

Sending you hugs & best wishes honey xoxo :A

Caroline78_2

Thank you MV for letting me know you were all here, didn't feel right asking questions on the Under 12 weeks. Everyone there is so excited and rightly so.

I started bleeding last weekend and had a confirmed 'incomplete' MC on Tues, I was 8wk & 4 days based on the internal scan. Was cramping really badly all week, each time it lasted about an hour, but last night it was unbearable, even after 2 paracetamol, 2 ibuprofen and trying to use the hot water bottle. I was in agony. After just over an hour it stopped!! I went to get fresh pyjamas and felt a sudden rush of blood, rushed to the toilet and was totally unprepared for what I saw..........it was purple & grey, about 4 inches long and about 1 inch in diameter, tapering off at the other end. I was expecting large clots but nothing like this!! Should I be concerned or is this normal as I wasn't expecting anything this large? The usual, everything major happens at the weekend when the EPU is closed!!

I'm trying to be strong and think positively, my OH and my 9mth old choc lab Cooper have been amazing, so supportive and giving me cuddles when i need them but I feel that I need to be there for my OH too and make sure Cooper gives him extra kisses and cuddles as he doesn't like to talk about his feelings. Cooper has been an excellent distraction for both of us

Been told by the EPU that I need to contact them when the bleeding subsides, hoping it will stop in the next day or two as I feel I need confirmation that everything has passed to allow me to start looking forward.

I have a wedding to start planning, we were going to postpone when we found out I was pregnant as wanting to do it abroad and not fair to take a baby but I'm struggling to get into it. I feel so guilty that my heart isn't into it just now because I REALLY want to marry my OH. But I wanted my baby too. Life is soooo unfair!!

Feel so fed up today, need to go to the docs on Mon and ask for a sickline for next week. I can't help feeling like a fake coz I don't feel physically ill, just really tired. I'm one of those people who don't take time off unless I'm physically unable to get there. Do you think the doc will be OK with giving me a line without going into too much detail as I can't face going back to work until the EPU confirms it's all over. Is this silly?

I'm so sorry everyone else has been through this too, hugs to all of you xx

msb5262

Caroline, poor you. I'm so sorry.
I posted way upthread about my experience of miscarriage - a long time ago now - and didn't want to see you sitting here unanswered.
Do you think the doc will be OK with giving me a line without going into too much detail as I can't face going back to work until the EPU confirms it's all over. Is this silly?
a) Yes the doctor will be fine with this but don't be afraid to be very clear about explaining what you want on the note. You're the one who has to take it/ send it to work.
b) No it's not silly. It's totally understandable.
From the sound of your miscarriage, you have passed the sac which contained the foetus. I think it sounds normal but if in doubt you can ring your GP out of hours service or NHS Direct.
Don't be too hard on yourself - the last few days must have been absolute hell. Give yourself permission to grieve. Everyone who has experienced miscarriage will understand, sympathise and send you their very best wishes...as I do.
MsB x

portsmouthali

Hi Caroline, so sorry for your loss xx

What you passed was completely normal, I was surprised at the size of what came out as well, and how painful it was the first time (I was 9 weeks with the 1st, 6 weeks with the 2nd) The EPU didn't prepare me for that at all!

I couldn't face going back to work until the it was all over either, I had 2 weeks off with my 1st mc and 3 weeks with my 2nd. My GP was great and was happy to sign me off for as long as I needed - as he said, it's a shock and you have to give yourself time to grieve. Remember as well, your work can't officially count any sickness like this as it's classed as pregnancy related.

Take care of yourself, your OH and Cooper (who sounds gorgeous!) We're always around if you need to rant xxxxxx

Lauralou

Caroline im so sorry to hear your news. ali and msb have explained it all too you, it was the sac you have passed, i had this with my 2nd. i had a scan a couple off weeks after my 2nd to make sure everything has passed.

I was like you thought i shouldnt be allowed too have time off work, as i wasnt actually physically ill. but trust me you need time to rest and not have the stresses off work. My doctor gave me two weeks off, i thought he was only going to do a couple off days and he even said i should only go back to work when im 100% ready.

So glad your OH and cooper are giving you lots off kisses, my OH has never spoken about his feelings about the mcs but i made sure i gave him lots off kisses and cuddles, made his lunch for work or if i was up too it cook him a nice meal.

If you have any other questions please no ask, no question is silly:D