Miscarriage support

portsmouthali

Sorry to hear your news LM xxx

I had natural MCs both times, was not offered any alternative as I'd started spotting and they said I should let nature take it's course. It's not nice (obviously!) and I must admit I wasn't prepared the first time how upset I'd be when everything came out - I was told at the scan that the bleeding would get heavier and I'd pass some large clots, but I felt that was an understatement (sorry if TMI) The 2nd time it wasn't so bad as I knew what to expect, but the waiting was still horrible

I've no experience of D&C, but I guess at least it's quick.

Hope I haven't upset you, just wanted to be honest. Keep in touch and let us know what you decide xxxxx

lil_madwife

Hi thanks for your replies guys. Ive had a talk with my mum and we've decided if nature doesnt do it thing i will go for the D+C on tuesday.

portsmouthali, don't worry its not tmi. Im a midwife and had to do a stint as a student in a termination clinic, not the nicest place but i guess everyone is entitled to choice. Experience i thought would never come in handy i guess is i kinda know what to expect after helping with medical terminations as a student (please don't judge, it was part of my training and i feel everyone is entitled to choice)

Thanks for the replies it helps to know there is support from ppl who actually do know how i feel.

elliebobs

lil_madwife wrote: »

Hi thanks for your replies guys. Ive had a talk with my mum and we've decided if nature doesnt do it thing i will go for the D+C on tuesday.

portsmouthali, don't worry its not tmi. Im a midwife and had to do a stint as a student in a termination clinic, not the nicest place but i guess everyone is entitled to choice. Experience i thought would never come in handy i guess is i kinda know what to expect after helping with medical terminations as a student (please don't judge, it was part of my training and i feel everyone is entitled to choice)

Thanks for the replies it helps to know there is support from ppl who actually do know how i feel.

Hi and sorry that you're having to post here. I had a M/C in December and opted for the tablets which were not 100% effective. I then continued to bleed for about 3 weeks before opting for the D and C. At my last scan the consultant confirmed that there was a 'mass of tissue' remaining, hence the continued bleeding. I decided that I couldn't move on whilst there was still a physical reminder of the M/C every time I visited the bathroom and it could have taken anything up to 3 months for all the tissue to be evacuated. I'm so glad I opted for the D and C although this is just my choice.
Good luck with whatever you decide anyway.

P.S I would never ever judge anyone who chose to terminate their pregnancy, as you said, everyone is entitled to that choice. When I opted for the tablets after I stated miscarrying my brother in law kindly informed my OH that his sister in law chose the D and C option as they were staunch Catholics (despite the fact that they were sleeping together prior to wedding etc etc) and the tablets were refused on religious grounds. It was a good job that he never said it to me as I would have lamped him!

Oh dear that turned into a bit of rant!

Metranil_Vavin

LM so sorry for your loss

I had a mc in January and bled for about 2 weeks, although during that time I had 2 scans at EPU which showed a heartbeat, so didnt know what the cause of the bleeding was.

I should have guessed really that things weren't right as the bleeding was heavy and bright red, and on one evening I had some very unpleasant cramping.

I kept trying to be positive as had seen heartbeat twice, but sadly when I went in again the scan showed that I had suffered a complete mc.

By that point there wasnt much left, but they told me to come back 2 weeks later and if at that point there was anything remaining I might have to have the D&C. I didnt ever need one, I bled a bit more but by the time I went back the bleeding had almost stopped and the scan confirmed the MC was over.

I'm terrified of anesthetics, so would probably have opted for the natural mc anyway. However if there was a good reason for having it, I would have course been sensible and had the D&C.

Hope you're ok hon...we've all been through it here and are here to help and support each other.
X

Metranil_Vavin

Ellie your brother in law sounds like a right plonker..no offence, but !!!!!! what a thing to say :mad:

I would have lamped him on your behalf too!

portsmouthali

elliebobs wrote: »

P.S I would never ever judge anyone who chose to terminate their pregnancy, as you said, everyone is entitled to that choice. When I opted for the tablets after I stated miscarrying my brother in law kindly informed my OH that his sister in law chose the D and C option as they were staunch Catholics (despite the fact that they were sleeping together prior to wedding etc etc) and the tablets were refused on religious grounds. It was a good job that he never said it to me as I would have lamped him!

Oh dear that turned into a bit of rant!

What a thing to say!! :mad: Why on earth bring religion into it? I have a friend who claims to be a devout catholic, yet she's been divorced twice :rotfl:People like that who use religion to take the moral high ground really get on my wick! I'd never judge anyone who had a termination either, it's not a decision many people would take lightly and I'm firmly pro-choice.

I'm ranting now lol xx

elliebobs

Ha ha; glad that others agree with me and it's not just me being overly sensitve. To be honest BIL is ok if a tad thougtless, but his wife is incredibly high maintenance and seriously neurotic and pulls out the religious card whenever it suits which winds me up no end .

StarJump

Evening all, I introduced myself on the ttc thread and thought I'd post over here too. I had a m/c at the start of jan, was 6+2. I'm so sorry to read about everybodies losses, before I got pregnant I had no idea how common m/c's are.

Lilmadwife, sorry can't offer any opinions as I had already started bleeding when I had my early scan. Such a tough decision to make.

Tinkwings, I'm also scared of it happening again but at the same time I cant imagine not ttc at the moment, I feel even worse at the thought of not ttc. If that makes sense.

Hugs to all, x.

portsmouthali

MERFE wrote: »

AF has arrived today at last so at least I can feel normal again, was starting to go a bit crazy. We wont be trying again for a little while at least 3-4 months, its so hard still though when its something we have been trying for for so long, need to start thinking about other things but I cant.

So glad you posted as I'm exactly the same Merfe I thought I was ready to try again, but physically & mentally I just can't at the moment. OH is not keen to try again at all, but I can't get my head round the thought that I'll never have another baby, and I'm 37 this month so time is not on my side. We're going to have a rethink in a few months as both of us are so scared of another mc, and I guess we're still hurting from the last 2. What will be, will be I guess xxx

Welcome StarJump, sorry for your loss xx Thanks for posting.

MERFE

ali the thing is I feel mentally ready to try again its just physically I need to let my body recover properly from all the MCs, and OH is not ready again, I'm not sure if he ever will be and I have to wait till he is. Thing is my wardrobe is full of maternity clothes I can not bring myself to get rid of, the loft is full of baby things. I love my kids and our family is so perfect at the moment but I just feel its not complete without the baby we are supposed to have had.