Miscarriage support

samtoby

Thanks everyone. I am so angry but so upset. You know things are not good when the Sonographer gets another one to look at the screen!

I had a scan at six weeks and again at nine. Therefore 3 days before baby died. Reassurance is only going to be that if they scanned you everyday. At the end of the dat it can die the next day hour bla bla.

Got my images to cherish and at least I know I can carry I have a nine year old son so things were not meant to be.

Sweaty Betty I hope you get what ever you need to carry your next baby.

Thanks everyone.

samtoby

Is it normal to be angry?

claire16c

Of course.

I was angry, my mum was angry for me and even her friend said to her god I'm so angry all these people have babies who are so unprepared/chavs Etc & then this happens to people who really want it!

It makes no sense.

That's awful it can all look ok and then just days later its not.

I'm really upset for you it's a horrible horrible thing.

fran-o

Thinking of you Samtoby, be kind to yourself xx

lilymay1

I'm so sorry to read your news Sam. Yes, it is more than normal and okay to be angry at everyone and everything. Life is very cruel and very unfair sometimes. I hope you are being looked after.

Betty - So pleased you got some answers and also that there was nothing anybody could have done differently. I hope that gives you some peace. I'm also pleased you have been seen so quickly. It took us 6 months from delivery to being seen by the consultant...yet again, we slipped through the system. I hope you and your family can begin to come to terms with what happened and try to rebuild your future.

Derby2

I'm struggling a bit today...due date would have been next week (and on our wedding anniverary) and it's all I can think about. Can't stop crying...

Lara44

I am so sorry to hear that SamToby. ((((hugs)))) I am sure you are feeling really shocked. I felt really angry too.

Hugs to you Derby. Have you got any comforting things planned? We have been enjoying small things like nice food, some trips out of the house have been a good distraction.

samtoby

I feel numb this morning. It sounds bizarre but I want to start bleeding I want my body to do what it should and accept the baby has gone.

So glad I didn't tell many people. I couldn't have coped going back to them sayibg my baby has gone.

I know there are so many worse ways to loose a baby but I feel this is just cruel. I didn't need to suffer for weeks of sickness tiredness etc why could I not have just lost the baby at six weeks or something. I have been walking around for over three weeks with a dead baby in my tummy.

Sorry I am just devestated. Can't believe I am going to be watching out for CD1.

sweaty_betty

samtoby wrote: »

I feel numb this morning. It sounds bizarre but I want to start bleeding I want my body to do what it should and accept the baby has gone.

So glad I didn't tell many people. I couldn't have coped going back to them sayibg my baby has gone.

I know there are so many worse ways to loose a baby but I feel this is just cruel. I didn't need to suffer for weeks of sickness tiredness etc why could I not have just lost the baby at six weeks or something. I have been walking around for over three weeks with a dead baby in my tummy.

Sorry I am just devestated. Can't believe I am going to be watching out for CD1.

I know. I can relate to all of this. None of it is fair.
I remember feeling like I'd been hit by a bus, physically and emotionally.
I don't think anyone can say anything to make you feel better. My advice would be to take things easy, be kind to yourself, allow yourself to get angry, upset, whatever you need to do.

Take care

samtoby

Thank you Betty. I think your story though makes me feel mine is nothing in comparison.

I think having the operation will make me feel better. Knowing baby is still there makes me feel ill in a sicky way.

I am hoping that maybe clearing out my uterus will be a good thing - fresh start to try again.

I am sure this has happened to so many ladies but when its you on that bed it feels so lonely. I am gutted for my partner too as when he cried I felt guilty. I feel like it is my fault.

The Midwife said it if often chromosome related under 12 weeks and something is really wrong but I can't help thinking what was I doing that day, at 9 weeks and 3 days. Did I lift something I should not have? Did I stretch too far?

I want to know people go through a missed miscarriage and find out at 12 weeks (with so signs it has happened) and have gone on to have a baby. So if anyone has can they speak up, otherwise Google will become my friend and I fear that is going to make me worse!