Miscarriage support

msb5262

Sorry to see this thread so busy but at least everyone is helping each other to hold together.

Best wishes and love to you all, it makes my heart ache to think how you are feeling - every day has its awful challenges, hope today goes ok for everyone.

MsB x

lilymay1

Just wanted to pop in and say AirCooled and Betty.

I don't know is this is something that will be of interest to you, but the chaplain who spoke to us at the hospital after DD died also conducted her funeral. Whilst we were planning it, he told us he had a little box of 'angel dust' I think he called it. Anyway, it was basically little bits of silver confetti type stuff in the shape of hearts and stars which he offered to everyone who attended the funeral to throw onto her coffin once it had been lowered into the ground instead of dirt. His rational was that he didn't feel comfortable throwing earth into a babies grave and it was something we really loved. I actually found a few pieces of confetti in my coat pocket several days after her funeral and I still have them. I like to think of it as her way of saying she is always with us.

Oh dear, I've made myself cry now, but I just wanted to let you know. We are not religious and did not have a religious ceremony but it really added a special 'personal' sort of touch. Everyone who came found peace in doing that too.

If there is anything I can help either of you with with regards to the funeral please let me know. It is a little hazy in my mind and all I can remember is wanting to run and hide but if I can help I will.

Take care

Lily xx

pigpen

Lilymay.. that angel dust is a wonderful, beautiful idea..

My friend kept a diary of her daughters very short life and recorded every second, she lost her to twin-to-twin transfusion at 34 weeks. She has a few pics. She was also given prints of her hands and feet which she has had the feet tattoo'd on her feet so her daughter can walk in her footsteps.. not for me, but a very sweet idea.

*Ro*

Lilymay1 and pigpen (talking about your friend), both ways of marking a treasured loss sound very touching to me x

Sometimes it amazes me how strong women can be but I think that you can only be strong with the help of others no matter who they may be, so glad you have a good husband iris36, MrsB I feel exactly the same Tc all x

ncsmummy

I am so sorry to hear what you have all been going through, its an awful experience.
Its been 3 1/2 moths since my m/c and I thought I was dealing with it well although I think its more a case of having locked it away in a box in my head as last night we were watching tv and the argos advert came on and I just lost it and started shouting at the tv and nearly burst into tears. OH looked shocked, tried t explain to him that I should be going and buying all that and its like a big reminder of it all. Then today we went shopping and just seeing mothercare was enough t make me well up. I sometimes feel a bit crazy

Iris36

Nscmummy I feel the same I think I am doing well then like you something triggers off all these emotions. I too feel that we should be going out shopping for baby things. I am sure it will get easier in time. It's helping me when I write on here I hope it helps you too. X

ncsmummy

Iris - it does help me, it was so good for me to find other people that understand how I feel. OH tries but I think its different for us maybe as he seems to have just dealt with it whereas I am still on the emotional roller coaster.
I find it really hard to try and explain how I feel, I'm not very good at it at the best of times and tend to try and lock it away but I think this is one situation where I really have got to try and actualy deal with it and go through all the emotions. x

*Ro*

I found things sometimes unexpectedly triggered emotions, although my mc was in 2009 I still remember the times when I was upset without warning. I found it was after some time (months) it seemed to hit harder, and saying you have to go through the emotions is very true there's no way round it, but you have to do it in your own time. I think men handle things so differently but mine was very supportive, I think if you get upset and they understand properly because you are able to talk to them it's half the battle of getting through it. I did make a lot of changes to my life over the couple of years after the mc and they were not easy but were necessary and ultimately led to a better emotional place. X

ncsmummy

My OH is very supportive and he encourages me to talk t him about things, its just the mental block I seem to have when it comes to talking. I know he has found it hard too but he has been so strong for me. I feel like I am crazy for being so emotional, I know other people go through far worse and I almost feel guilty for being so emotional if that makes any sense? x

Iris36

I find that when I am having a bad day I tend to take it out on my husband (I get grumpy and emotional on him) my husband is very supportive and there for me all the time but I do tend to forget it was his loss too.
Ncsmummy I thought i was crazy for being so emotional.
My husband tries to understand how I feel but he knows it's hard for me which is why I think he encouraged me to write on here.

We are planning a area of our garden as a memorial garden so that we always have just something that will always be there. we are going to plant flowers that will bloom in march when we lost our baby and september when our baby should have been born.
I am so grateful for all the support on here. X