Miscarriage support

counting_down_the_days...

Hiya, I've only just found this thread - knew there must have been one somewhere! I didn't want to bring the mood down in the up to 12 weeks pregnant thread, probably already had, unintentionally.

I don't plan to hang around, I just want to write down my feelings then leave, so don't require any response, sorry.

I've got a 3 year old, miscarried after having him, however, I knew it had happened when I was bleeding at 7 weeks. Everything passed, had a scan and was told miscarried, which is what I thought and moved on. Went on to have baby no. 2, whose now 1. I've just miscarried again, however, this is completely different & I'm a wreck

First it was a bit of a shock when I found out I was pregnant, but I thought I was losing it as have bled since conceiving, and still am. Went to the dr who confirmed I was pregnant and that it was probably just implantation bleeding. I never got excited as didn't believe it would come to anything. Went for a scan at 5 weeks and everything was ok, yolk sac in correct place, told to come back in 2 weeks. God, that two weeks was slow, I continued bleeding and wasn't sure what to expect. However, in the few days before the scan, I started to feel pregnant. I started to get excited (there was the mistake!) at the scan we were chatting about where it would sleep and if we'd find out if it was a boy or girl etc. Went into the scan to be told the yolk sac was still there, but there was no baby growing inside

This was a real shock, however, I still feel pregnant, it must be the hormone, or my imagination, but either way, it's not nice. If I'm not carrying a baby, I want my body back. This appointment was on Monday. I had to go back on Friday for another scan and the lady said I would get a tablet to remove the sac. I went back yesterday and after being scanned again and told the same thing, sac measuring 5-6 weeks, no baby. So eventually managed to get to speak to someone about how to proceed. The department had shut cos they were running so late. Oh, add to that my lg had been sent home from nursery sick, so had her to deal with & dh wasn't able to come :mad:

I was offered 3 options

Let it come away naturally - I wasn't keen, as it's had 3 weeks to come out and it's still there & I feel pregnant.
Tablets. You get 1 then come back two days later for the second. If this doesn't work, you have to come back for surgery. - This is the option I selected, as this is what I thought was going to happen from the appointment on Monday.
The last option was and operation to have it removed, they do this every Friday, so I'd have to wait until next Friday. - Don't like the sound of this as sounds very serious and I don't want to wait another week.

So she asked if I wanted to think about it over the weekend. Erm, no. I want the tablets now! She said she could book me in to come back on Wednesday then again on Friday :eek: I was also thinking if the tablets don't work, I'm going to be another week for the operation. So said I wanted to come back asap and didn't want to wait until Wednesday. She booked me in for Monday and to go back on Wednesday, at least if I need the operation, I should get it on Friday.

I can accept this has happened but I just want it over now. I'm not coping with all this waiting

Sorry if I've been rambling Thanks for listening

TeamLowe

Sorry to hear of your loss counting, for what it's worth my baby died at 5.5 weeks (found out at 10.5 weeks) and I had the medical management and I found it swift and fairly painless.
I took the first pill on the Friday and it was enough for everything to come away and painless enough that I think I know when the baby came out but I'm not 100%, was definitely before I went back on the Monday though.
I'm with you on the unfairness of the process, it's awful that anyone should have to go through this everything about getting your body back seems like a kick in the teeth x

claire16c

I had the surgical option counting, as my baby got to over 8 weeks so I was terrified of doing it at home as I had seen it on the ultrasound and pain wise & I wasn't offered the tablet option. I posted an account of it on here. It was a lot better than I thought it would be. To say I was scared before would be an understatement.

There is no right option. I was worried about waiting also because I didn't find out until 3 weeks later & they said they'd only let me go a couple more before they became worried about infections. 'Luckily' for me they do the surgery 5 days a week here so I got booked in fairly quickly. The waiting is the worst part really.

It's not a decision you ever want to make.

And yes feeling pregnant is awful when you know it's not successful anymore. I was still having morning sickness to rub salt in the wound after the operation.

I hope which ever route you take works out as best as it can.

any_name_will_suffice

Sorry to hear you're going through this.

I completely get the feelings of frustration and wanting to get it all over with as quickly as possible.

I found out I had had my first mc when i went for my 12 week scan, my morning sickness had only started to ease off around 11 weeks, and I was devestated to be told the baby had stopped growing around the 5/6 week point. I had a second scan 7 days after the first, although I had already started to pass by then, and had surgery 2 days later.

A few months later, I had an early scan at about 8 weeks as I had had a little bleeding, and again it was not good news. I opted to wait for it to happen naturally, but after 2 weeks I rang up and booked myself in for surgery again. I had to wait another two weeks for a space on the theatre list, and I felt awful as I just wanted it to be over so I could have my body back.

Big hugs, and keep posting for support if you need to. All the ladies on this thread are incredibly supportive, and understand the sadness and frustration x

sophiasmum

Counting - I was with you on the under 12 weeks pregnant thread. I too left the thread immediately after miscarriage - in fact I didn't even post the result as I didn't want to upset them all I miscarried at 8w 5 days naturally - and yes it was awful but 2.5 weeks on I am honestly feeling ok. Sad? Yes - and am dreading the milestones (would have been pregnant on holiday etc) but am ready to move on and am posting on the TTC thread. (Due to my age (38) we need to get a move on!!)
The waiting must be awful for you - in some ways I am glad mine happened naturally - though as I was scared stiff as I had heard some horror stories about haemorrhaging etc. I was lucky in that my pregnancy symptoms dropped straight away - although I am still testing positive on a test
Please continue to post and seek support - don't be lonely.

msb5262

So sorry to hear about your losses counting and sophiasmum - it's always sad to see this thread bumped back up to the top.

If you want to ask about people's experiences, this is the place to ask as between us we've pretty much been through everything.

I think getting someone's actual story is always better than the professional "most women find..." because we are the ones who have experienced it ourselves, and nothing is TMI.

Best wishes to all
MsB

counting_down_the_days...

Thank you

Sophiasmum, I hope you are blessed with another pregnancy and all goes well. It's not until you start TTC you realise how precious life is and how lucky mums really are.

We debated no. 3 for months and months & it wasn't really planned, however, we were really happy. However, I've decided we won't be trying again Ha ha, having said that, you do know what's going to happen!

xxxxx

faithhope

I had two miscarriages last year - spring and summer. Luckily got surgery pretty quickly - one at 11pm on a Sunday night as an emergency cos I was bleeding so heavily. I previously had a natural one which was horrendous so it was good to recover quickly - physically at least. The thing is I coped really well at the time although I was sad. The problem is that I think I must have been subconsciously suppressing it as just recently I have been very sad and have this load of grief that I just haven't dealt with. How have you all dealt with it? I've tried being practical, getting on with things, counting my blessings etc but it hasn't made the sadness go away however logical I try to be. Yeah I could talk to friends, family, potentially a counsellor but I don't see how me rambling on about it is going to make me feel any better

claire16c

The only thing I do really, is try for another baby. Which is a good and bad thing at the same time because when Im sad Im not pregnant again Im also sad about the mc all over again.

I also talk to my friends about it, and another friend who also lost a baby last year as she understands completely.

I didnt cope that well at the time though I barely left the house for 2/3 weeks.

faithhope

Thanks Claire I've just realised that the times when I feel sad is around the time of ov so maybe I am handling it ok and it's just the bloomin hormones! Right need to tell DH to cheer me up with some BD