Miscarriage support

TeamLowe

It's a natural reaction but none of this is your fault. It's never anyone's fault.
I was told by the doctor that from conception there's millions of cell divisions and changes that happen- if just one of those goes wrong then the baby won't be healthy enough to make it and that's what causes a large majority of losses.
Unfortunately it just comes down to luck x

ncsmummy

Thank you for your support, I appreciate it x

abis21

Awww, NCS big hugs. I'll echo what Teamlowe says. Take as long as you need. This is a process of grief - loss of your baby, but loss of the future you had planned with your baby. Its a double whammy, all at the time when your hormones are re-adjusting and you are physically going through it all.

From a physical point of view - you should take it easy for the next 2-3 days. Its a hard thing your body is going through. You shouldn't use tampons or BD whilst you are stil bleeding. Appreciate BDing is probably the last thing on your mind right now - but just from a practical point of view your cervix will be open and you are more prone to infections at the moment (which are horrid).

From an emotional point of view - you will go through a rollercoaster I'm afraid. Feelings of overwhelming sadness, guilt, fear, why me etc are all perfectly normal. And its also ok to be happy too and to laugh - it doesn't mean you loved your baby any less.

The first few days seemed to drag for me. It seemed like time had stopped still and I felt numb and in shock.

The best thing that the nurse said to me was to be kind to myself. Any time that I tried to blame myself for it all, I thought back to the nurse and tried to stop the bad feelings.

My cause of miscarriage was identified and it was an error at the time of conception - so whether I had a hot bath, ate pate, drank a glass of wine, did exercise, had cold n flu tablets etc - none of it made a blind bit of difference - the baby would have died anyways Please don't blame yourself. It really isn't your fault.

I found talking about it with different people helped - DH, my mum, my best friend and these boards all offered comfort in different types of way. There are unfortunately many who have experienced losses on here - so there will always be someone around who has an idea of how you are feeling.

Lots of love to you and yr OH xxx

Metranil_Vavin

I do hate it when this thread get's bumped to the top again.

NCS - sorry you are experiencing a loss. As other's have said, there is nothing you could have done to prevent it happening. Nature sadly has the final say on if babies make it or not.

Keep posting on this thread, it is an amazing resource of support from women who know exactly what you are going through x

sweaty_betty

ncsmummy wrote: »

I am currently going through a m/c. I should now be almost 6 weeks pg. I cannot even find the words to explain to my oh how I am feeling. He is being a huge support despite the fact that he is upset too. I am a wreck, I know I should pull myself together but I just cant seem to, I will be ok for a while and then just burst into tears

So sorry you're going through this. I echo what everyone else has said, it's a very tough time. Please look after yourself.

claire16c

Please don't blame yourself. I felt like that a bit too but when I found out the ultra sound lady said to me 'some ladies worry it wasn't something they did but its not there is nothing you could have done.' I think my baby probably had something wrong with it.

Don't try to rush into feeling better. I don't think I even left the house for 2 weeks except to go to the hospital & my parents house.

McRach_2

Big Hugs NCS.
There's nothing i can add already been said other than echo it. Rest up, sleep, cry, talk it through.
I still have a cry 6 weeks on

Sending love to yourself and your OH

Kitten_Pie

Take is as easy as you can. There is no set time period to grieve.

BadlyWrittenPoem

ncsmummy wrote: »

I am currently going through a m/c. I should now be almost 6 weeks pg. I cannot even find the words to explain to my oh how I am feeling. He is being a huge support despite the fact that he is upset too. I am a wreck, I know I should pull myself together but I just cant seem to, I will be ok for a while and then just burst into tears

ncsmummy wrote: »

Thank you. It has all been so overwhelming, I keep finding all these reasons why its my fault, things I should have done differently

I'm so sorry for your loss. There are no "shoulds". There's nothing you could have done differently to stop it happening and there is no set time scale for grief or point at which you should "pull yourself together". Whatever you are feeling is what you need to feel and that can be different for different people - everyone copes in different ways.

msb5262

So sorry to hear your news ncs - let the tears flow, it's such a sad thing to have happened. Best wishes to you and your OH.
MsB x