Miscarriage support

MoneySavingMamma

Hi GG!
All happening the bad way for me still, but at least it's 'natural'
Still laughing to myself that the Dr thought a miscarriage doesn't carry on after the day you actually lose the baby!
Hoping bleed will stop soon so I can TTC, already introduced myself on TTC thread!
Hospital Mon for bloods & poss scan. & going to run GP after to sort out referral.
One question, hope someone can help! Who am I asking to be referred to? Fertility clinic?
Been working this weekend, not great with tummy ache & giant pads!! And everyone asking about me being off! Getting good at lying!

How u doin GG? Any problems? Are u at hospital Mon? Wishing u the best of luck!

How are things for you Abis? Xx

Greener_Grass

Glad it's happening naturally but not iyswim. Guess its the lesser of two evils. That dr sounds like a moron I think you should be asking to be referred to a specialist about recurrent miscarraiges, not sure if that's fertility or what. Hopefully your dr will know. Good luck tomorrow. I hope everything will go as well as it can xx

Things are ok with me, still bleeding sick of the sight of it now. If this pregnancy continues I think I'm gonna be one of these people who bleeds all the way through cause I'm just that lucky. My appointment is not till Thursday but I'm over half way there now. Can't wait

MoneySavingMamma

Well i bleed with DS2, not lots, but spotting & one heavy red day!
Just stay neutral minded, thats what i've done this time from the start, and it's not hurt (mentally) anywhere near as much. More upset as it keeps happening& i feel useless. I wouldnt mind as much if i didnt have other medical issues (physical, as in unrelated parts of the body) which make me feel like i'm just going to fall apart before i'm even 40!
Had specialist for one in Jan, specialist for another next Fri, now needing specialist for this! And i've got no full teeth (that sounds stupid!) but they all have fillings/crowns & some out! I take vitamins, and clean & mouth wash! Why is my body just a junk yard of broken bits!!!

Off to find some wine I think!! (I rarely drink, so cant blame that!)

Greener_Grass

Oh it sounds like we have lots in common. I am the exact same lol. My medical ailments list is as long as my arm I seem to aqquire a new one every year too, so far this years one is dermatitis. It's very minor in relation to the rest so I'm not bothered but it does feel a bit like why me sometimes. I'm only 28, I dread to think what I'll be like by 40

Enjoy your wine, I don't drink, hate the taste but I can see the attraction when times are bad

I hope if things are bad on Thursday I hope it hurts less for me too. Last time killed me and I struggled for many months. This time is different in the fact it's been drawn out for weeks. Last time it was all over in less than 24 hours so was much more of a shock

MoneySavingMamma

I'm only 26! I can't see my body lasting through my 40s! Hopefully i'll have lots of kids to look after me!
My first mc killed me, and nearly broke up my 8 year relationship! I just could not cope, as i never thought it could happen to me, and I was supposed to be 10weeks, so so close to 12! I'd let myself get so excited, crazy excited just to be TTC, planning life out with a new baby, so when I got the BFP i got even more excited! All i thought about every day was the baby! I'll never let that happen again! I stayed in bed for weeks (well i gad to go to work & fake a life, but would crawl back in & fall apart) & if i got out i'd just drink&drink (not like me!) i hated my OH for not crying, or staying with me while i cried!
When i was bfp next i tried to ignore it, but started spotting a few weeks later, was so shocked to be having it again, then he stayed week by week I was scanned and they could see the sac coming away i knew i'd lose him, then one day the scan looked good! I cried & cried on the bed, i was so happy for about 2 weeks, then i got scared again & completely closed off from him. Didnt sing to him, talk to him ( well i'd tell him off for hurting/kicking!) even when he was born, didnt hold him unless they said he needed feeding. They kept saying he was ill & weak etc. i couldnt look at him.
Finally when i came home and had him in my bed, just us, i cried & realised how lucky i was to have him & i've loved him to bits ever since.

I'm sure i'll be the same next time, because i can't put my family through that again! It's took 2 years for my relationship to heal. If i can be strong enough not to feel. But its horrible not to enjoy a pregnancy!

abis21

Hi Ladies,

Thanks for thinking of me. I'm doing ok now I think. Had an awful couple of days this week where I've just been so miserable and cried so much and poor DH hasn't been able to do a thing right

But I think I'm doing ok again now. My smile seems to have found its way back and the world doesn't look quite so bleak again.

I think we all need a period to have a wallow and feel sorry for ourselves tho - especially when so many others seem to find things so easy :o

The bleeding has stopped now and I think that makes such a big difference mentally as you are not able to see it iyswim....

MSM, wish it had been a sticky baby for you, but I guess a natural miscarriage is the lesser of two evils when it came to ectopic and possible surgery or not being able to TTC for so long. I think miscarriage and fertility problems can cause such a huge problem in a relationship. DH is lovely with me and looks after me etc, but he doesn't understand the emotional side of things. I remember last time that it was about 2-3 days after the ERPC and he had gone up to bed early, and I had started crying a lot uncontrollably. He came rushing down and asked what had happened :rotfl: I can laugh about it now, but I was so cross at the time. I had just lost my baby and was facing chemotherapy if my hormone levels didn't behave themselves and I was told I might have to wait a year to TTC again. Men!!!! I've been better at communicating with him this time as in spelling out what I needed from him (be it a hug or him to make tea or put DD to bed or whatever). I did bite his head off saturday morning tho by accident

GG - I have my fingers crossed for you for thursday. I have coped so much better this time than last - presumably because I don't have the complications this time and also it was so much sooner. But I think the main thing really was that I wasn't naive this time. I know how things can go wrong, and I know it can happen to me (I think previously I thought I was invinsible for this type of thing)

clare1angel

Hello ladies,

May I firstly say how sorry I am to the ladies that are not having a very good time at the minute - I have been assured by some friends who have been through miscarriages that it does get easier - I sure hope so :-(
Secondly I have tried to (and hopefully succeeded) in posting a link to an e-petition which I hope is ok to do.
It was a facebook group that I joined and I think the point's on the petition are quite valid especially the after care as I felt like I didn't get any at all.
Please feel free to sign it and share it if you feel you would like to.

http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/43793

I'm starting to have more good days than bad but I'm very annoyed at having to wait so long to see my consultant for a follow up. Quick recap first hospital appointment was 10th Jan but they didn't have my notes so re-arranged for 24th Jan where the doc said I would probably need an op to remove cyst and ovary and was told to make an appointment for the next clinic. The clinic runs fortnightly and there was no clinic on 7th Feb as my consultant was on holiday and the next one on 21st Feb was fully booked so I've got to wait until 7th March!!
I know in the grand scheme of things it isn't long to wait but we are putting off ttc again until I've had the op and I won't get an appointment for that until after I've seen the consultant and even then it could be a few weeks even months before I get in :-(

Sending big (((hugs))) to all who need them xx

Clare* :A

Greener_Grass

Well scan had bad news. Baby has not grown at all since last scan so missed miscarraige

Jox

Sorry Greener Grass, really hoped things would be different, hope you get the support you need...

TeamLowe

so sorry to hear that Greener Grass, was really hoping you would be ok
take good care of yourself and your partner x x