Miscarriage support

Chocolate_Cookie_Monster

MoneySavingMamma wrote: »

But did leaving it to grow mean you needed surgery rather than drugs?

No, they did say I could have the injection but I was getting married 2 weeks later and they said as the injection isn't 100% reliable, sometimes you have to have to have the op anyway if the injection doesn't work. I didn't want to risk putting the wedding in jeopardy.

I didn't lose my tube- I was lucky. You can lose the tube if there is a rupture. I had only slight spotting and no pain before it was found. But I did start to get a bit of pain before the op. I was 6 weeks by the way.

MoneySavingMamma

Your all saying what my OH has said. Do not pump poison into your body without it being 100% sure!
Going to try for 2nd opinion at the city hospital tomorrow, and hopefully get somewhere with them.

Thank you so much for your advice, it helps for others to confirm. Just felt pressurised by Dr.

Xx

MoneySavingMamma

Well, spent most the morning trying to get through to a different EPU, when my hospital rings, the midwife wants me to come in for bloods before this afternoons injection.

So i explode into, i'm not ready i think we've rushed this no evidence of ectopic, poison, panic, need more time/scans/bloods.

Luckily she agreed, and said I am perfectly reasonable to want to wait (me, reasonable? !!)

So going in for bloods & scan tomorrow! :-)

I think she looked at my notes, and thought the same thing, she was the one who first suggested dates could be wrong.

So thats all good news, and as much as I am very sad, I'm kind of relieved to have started a proper bleed today, as mc is a better option than ectopic.
Many have to have 2 shots, then surgery, then you cant TTC for 6 months.

I just don't want to go through all that, so I'm hoping that it's all happening naturally. (OK, i am also hoping that baby is growing in right place and this is just heavy spotting, but I need to keep some grasp on reality!)

Not in any pain, just a little achy. They told me to goto A&E with any pain or bleeding, but I told midwife about the bleeding & she wasn't concerned.

PJ day this morning, but work this afternoon as I cant TTC later on if i have no job or home to live in!!

Greener_Grass

Glad to hear nurse listened to you. Sorry to hear about the bleeding though although I understand it is the lesser of two evils xxx

Thinking of you abis xxx

TeamLowe

lots of love MSM, what a horrible position to be in

Abis my husband was very stoic and seemed to get over it easily but he did have bursts, particularly after the due date, which sort of makes sense as then he had something a bit more tangible to miss- there was no baby in the house. in particular, he couldn't hold my friend's baby who was due a day after mine as it was too upsetting for him to think that he should have one too

i really hope you can still get help with trying but i'm hoping you have that 'first cycle after mc' luck that a lot of ladies have x x

Metranil_Vavin

Wishing you well tomorrow MSM x

GG - how are things with you today hon?

My OH was very closed about my mc's too, I think they upset him more than he would ever show me, and I also know he is terrified about next weeks scan.

any_name_will_suffice

Big Hugs MSM, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

Abis, I don't think myself and OH have quite recovered from my miscarriages, he's very pragmatic and detached about it, and I don't think he really understands why I still feel devastated by our loss, and bitterly jealous of every woman who has a baby. We had a big fall out recently, as I don't feel he takes my (still) ongoing health problems from the mcs seriously.

Actually, I know he does feel awful still, but quite helpless and that's why he comes across as unsupportive. The day we went for our 12 week scan to hear the baby had died 6-7 weeks earlier, when we got home I sobbed and sobbed and he..... set up his laptop and went back to work!

Men!!!!

Greener_Grass

I think men have a tendency to put a brave face on. They also feel its their place to be the strong one. I'm sure they are hurting on the inside too just aren't as open as us women about it and pretend everything's ok

How did you get on Msm?

I'm ok thanks MV, still having minor bleeding, I'm so convinced it must be the suppositries irritating my cervix. My scan can't come quick enough. I've had a bad day today, feeling very down about everything. The few friends I did not lose with last miscarraige I appear to have lost this time. When things go wrong people don't seem to know what to say for the best so instead say nothing. Such a shame when it's the one time you need them most and they are gone in a shot. Just thankful to have my husband, not sure how I'd cope without him

Hugs to all you ladies xxx

abis21

Hi Ladies,

MSM - hope everything goes ok tomorrow. I think you are doing the right thing waiting - I would want to know 100% before taking medicine or having surgery. With my first miscarriage there was talk of scanning again a week later to check for growth as it was at the point where you may or may not have been able to see the heartbeat. I was 100% sure of my dates tho, and the baby had died 4 weeks earlier so it would have been worse for me to be kept waiting. If I hadn't been sure of my dates - no way would I have wanted an operation until I knew for sure whether the baby was viable or not.

GG - similar stories indeed My mmc was May last year. I had to wait 3 months before TTC again due to it being a partial molar pregnancy. I started trying in October 2011. My DD is approaching 7 now and I so didn't want a very large age gap I did have to find a new partner in the meantime as well tho I suppose which made the gap larger than anticipated too

Thank you for all your messages ladies. DH is so very lovely, just not an emotional kind of guy on the whole. He loves me and DD obviously, but he won't connect with a baby until it is actually here. Its not 'real' to him while it is still inside. I found that very hard to understand and found it hurtful last time - but I was aware of how he would feel this time. He tries his best, cuddles me, talks to me etc. Its just not the same kind of hurt for him.

GG totally agree with the friends thing. I only told a couple of people about this miscarriage, but they have basically said sorry to hear that and then not been in touch since. My mum came over to be with me for an hour when I first found out, and to be fair I didn't actually want her there at that time as I was coping fine and didn't want to go to the loo while she was here in case it started etc. She came in to work to see me today and asked how I was, so I said I was struggling a bit and feeling very sad, and she said in an overly bright voice 'oh well we won't talk about >that< then'.

My HCG blood levels were less than 1, which means I won't need a scan and everything has come away - but it also means that it won't be confirmed as a loss by the doctors. Hopefully WHEN I get pregnanct next time a midwife might take more notice of it in my notes and it may get treated as a proper loss. And anyways, hopefully it won't matter as hopefully I won't have a 3rd loss.

GG - if theres anything I can do please let me know. Is so hard waiting

Greener_Grass

Hugs Abis. I really hope next time your pregnant it all goes well. I definetly think it should be counted as a loss as it is a loss xxx

I think my bleeding is getting heavier just been to the toilet and quite a bit of bloody cm. huge amount more than any of the times in the last 6 days. Want to cry. Really hope it stops