Miscarriage support

elliebobs

Mokeyjen wrote: »

Hello...

Big hugs to everyone who has had to go through this... I have no idea how you must be feeling... But I know it is awful and my thoughts are with you all.

I myself haven't had a MC but a close friend of mine has recently and I was just wondering if you could give me some advice...

I really want to try and buy her something to show that I care and that I am here for her... Any ideas (am on a budget so nothing too expensiv if possible)

Sorry if this is insensitive or if you think this is a bad idea... All comments are welcome.

Thanks
Jen

xxx

Not at all insensitive; it's a lovely idea.

My friends from work bought me a load of magazines as I really wasn't up to going ok (or even getting changed out of my PJ's!) and reading about Jordan et al did distract me! They also bought me flowers which was also appreciated.

I don't think I would have appreciated smellies as I really couldn't care less about my appearance at the time but, of course, everyone is different.

Personally, I think just by letting her know that you're there and providing a shoulder to cry on and rant at the unfairness of it may be all that's needed.

She's lucky to have a friend like you looking out for her.

portsmouthali

Jen that's a lovely idea. What a nice friend you are

When I had my first mc, a dear friend of mine phoned me up one day shortly afterwords (when I was still off work) and said "I'm cooking a huge lasagne, shall I do one for you and pop it round?" I was still feeling very low and though I usually love cooking I didn't feel like it, so that was most welcome. She cooked enough for my OH and our son as well. :j I will never forget her kindness. So, not sure if you're much of a cook, but something like that would be nice I think. Or how about some home-made cookies or cakes?

Mokeyjen

portsmouthali wrote: »

Jen that's a lovely idea. What a nice friend you are

When I had my first mc, a dear friend of mine phoned me up one day shortly afterwords (when I was still off work) and said "I'm cooking a huge lasagne, shall I do one for you and pop it round?" I was still feeling very low and though I usually love cooking I didn't feel like it, so that was most welcome. She cooked enough for my OH and our son as well. :j I will never forget her kindness. So, not sure if you're much of a cook, but something like that would be nice I think. Or how about some home-made cookies or cakes?

Thats a good idea... She loves my lemon cheesecake! Think I will get on the case tomorrow!

Thanks everyone for your ideas!

Jen
xxx

weenickieS

Sorry to hear about your mc *hugs*
I had a miscarriage almost 10 years ago when i was only 18 and it feels like it was only yesterday as i still remember it so well.
A few months later i became really ill, and found out i had a mole pregnancy.
Thankfully though i later went on to have 2 healthy, beautiful little girls.
Hope you are ok and thank you for this thread x

mumOf2wonderfulkids

hi everyone,

sending you lots of love portsmouthali,
i lost my first child almost 12 years ago now, i had a missed abortion, baby had died at 8 weeks but my body didnt recognise, it wasnt until 2 weeks before my 18 week scan that it started to happen:( i lost my 3rd child early 2006 when i was 6 weeks gone, whilst hubby was supportive, there is nothing phsyical that they have lost if you know what i mean,
the thing that helped me the most was an internet forum with ladies who went through the same thing, and a forum on the SANDS website (stillborn and neonatal death society)
i know it doesnt make you feel any better, but i also do have 2 healthy children so you can have babies after M/C

As SANDS helped me so much during my hard times, I am skydiving this year to raise the profile and hopeful some cash for the charity


sending lots of hugs xx

Lauralou

Ali a wonderful idea:D
I am a bit like you currently have a 'break/rest' from TTC as the doctor said it would be best to wait and let my body recover which i think for me its a good idea 3mc in a space of 6/7months i think my body does need to get back to 'normal'
Leopardlady i read about your mc and i was so sad to hear that. Hope you are doing ok.

Looks like you got a lot of people on here ali.
For anybody going through a mc just remember there are a lot of people who can support you, me included!

Metranil_Vavin

Great to see you here Laura. You have been an inspiration with how you have coped the last few months.

x

msb5262

Hello all,

This thread is a great idea. Well done Ali and I hope you're starting to feel a bit better yourself.

I had my DS1, then DD, then miscarried my next pregnancy at 6 weeks - it was another "missed" one, where nothing happened except I felt suddenly not pregnant any more, then slight watery bleeding. A scan showed that the foetus had stopped developing, and I had an ERPC.

It seems that the surgeon managed to miss a bit when performing the ERPC and I bled after this for about 3 weeks, increasingly heavily, and the procedure had to be repeated...but I did feel that it was better to have it done twice too gently than once too vigorously.

After the second ERPC all was fine, but the bleeding was dreadful.

I must say that if I were to miscarry in future, I would certainly opt for the surgical route as I imagine the endless bleeding is what would have happened if I'd gone the natural route.

It was a very sad time and hard to cope with, even though I already had two healthy children, so I really feel for all the women on here who have lost babies recently.

My sister is a couple of years older than me and had great problems with conceiving, then maintaining her pregnancies but ultimately did have the happy ending of two healthy children and without any medical "help".

I went on to conceive my DS2 about 3 months after miscarrying, and he is big, beautiful and healthy. In that pregnancy I knew from day one that the previous pregnancy had never been right - my symptoms were much stronger and in fact I didn't do a test or anything with DS2 until I was about 7 weeks pregnant, because I was so sure.

Part of me wishes that early pregnancy testing had never been invented because we are now aware of many pregnancies that are never going to be viable...in the past we would just have been thinking, My period's late this time.

Best best wishes and lots of kind thoughts to everyone here who has been through this -

MsB x

PS When I miscarried, I REALLY didn't want flowers because they made me think of funerals. I know not everyone feels like this but mokeyjen, you might want to bear it in mind.

Metranil_Vavin

msb I can totally relate to what you are saying about your mc'd pregnancy 'not feeling right'

I had no symptoms with my pregnancy apart from tiredness. No sickness, sore boobs or anything.

The Dr I saw today who did my first scan at 7 weeks said that she had thought it 'didn't look quite right' then, but hadn't said anything as there was a heartbeat and she didn't want to completely freak me out. I'm glad she didn't..it would have been even worse than it's been.

So I guess it just wasn't ready for the world...but I'm hoping that next time we are lucky.

coco1980

This thread is such a good idea, i had a mc when I was just 17 and wish there had been something like this at the time as my friends just didn't know what to say, I fell pregnant with my ds the month I should have had my first baby and although it was a horrid pregnancy with severe sickness and lots of bleeding my ds is now 10.

Big hugs to everyone and I hope your wishes come true:)