Miscarriage support

MoneySavingMamma

Hi guys,

Just popping in, everything good today! Can't believe it as I've been a complete pessamist (sp!) Looks like 7+ now. Sac etc doesn't seem to be worse than before, but still seperated a bit? Also I am to expect a small bleed at some point as Heamatoma (sp! - lump of blood) still floating about. She kept saying "It's alright for now, looks good for now" which was a bit unnerving!

I won't be in here, but I don't think I'll bother with <12wks either. Thanks everyone for your support & optimism.

A last word on how carp the NHS are, received a letter yesterday to see Obstetrics next week. I presumed it was my booking app as I haven't been seen by my midwife at all yet. By chance I can't make it, so I rang up to re-arrange. When I did they said "Are you aware that you had an app on xx xx, I said 'I did have an app, but that was cancelled in March with my other apps as I lost that baby' reply 'oh, dear'

How rubbish that they didn't cancel, that was prob my 20wk scan (I would have been 19+) and if I wasn't pg now, it would have upset me a hell of alot to get that letter. I was upset on the day of the original app knowing I could have found out if I was having pink or blue. Also if I had just turned up to the new app (strangely diff hosp) it would have been confusing for everyone. (I would perhaps think dating scan for this, then they would be like 'there is something wrong' as measuring wrong'!!!

Rant over, as I'm supposed to happy today! Will see how long before I start winging about something! Hugs to all, I will lurk & good luck xxx

pigpen

FABULOUS FANTASTIC news MSM.. I am so pleased for you

deborahmcgeachy

Hey there,

I just wanted to post here in the hope to get some support and advise.

I went for my ante-natal appointment today and the midwife managed to fit us in for a scan, it turned out I have had a missed miscarriage, the baby had stopped developing at 8 wks!!! I sit here now knowing the poor wee thing is still there inside me and knowing it was gone 4 weeks ago leaves me devastated!!! We were both over the moon this morning knowing that today I had reached the 12 week milestone too be left devastated!!!

The sonographer gave me a little leaflet and the different options I could go for!!! I was considering the ERPC are there any ladies who have experienced it and what is it they do??? My nerves are shot but I'd rather feel I know what to expect!!

manda1205

deborahmcgeachy wrote: »

Hey there,

I just wanted to post here in the hope to get some support and advise.

I went for my ante-natal appointment today and the midwife managed to fit us in for a scan, it turned out I have had a missed miscarriage, the baby had stopped developing at 8 wks!!! I sit here now knowing the poor wee thing is still there inside me and knowing it was gone 4 weeks ago leaves me devastated!!! We were both over the moon this morning knowing that today I had reached the 12 week milestone too be left devastated!!!

The sonographer gave me a little leaflet and the different options I could go for!!! I was considering the ERPC are there any ladies who have experienced it and what is it they do??? My nerves are shot but I'd rather feel I know what to expect!!

:hugs: I know theres nothing I can say to make it better, but I do understand how it feels. I had an ERPC in Dec last year. For me it was best thing to do as I didnt want to end up having christmas waiting for a natural MC. Its a day procedure, they just put you under general and you're back round again in 20mins. I got really upset afterwards as I just felt they'd took my baby away, but nurses were really good. I beld for about 2 weeks after, but lighter than a normal period. No pain after either. Its totally up to you what you want to do though, take your time to think about it. Take care.

deborahmcgeachy

Thanks Manda

I just feel that its been there for 4 weeks and my body wants to keep hold of it and it'd be cruel to do that!!! The other thing is sitting and waiting for it to happen naturally as there is no rhyme or reason to it I could wait another 4 weeks and it wouldn't help me move on!!! I'm glad to know that it is a quick procedure and I'm sure I'll feel the exact same as you afterwards but able to grieve properly aswell!!!

QQuaver

Massive hugs (((Deborah))).

Mine stopped at 10 weeks, found out at 11 weeks. I had erpc as well.
The procedure was done on GA, and was very easy. Woke up about 20mins later. Had heavy bleeding and severe cramps for about a week but I think it differs from person to person:(

Perhaps you could get a candle or plant something in memory for your baby. Take care of yourself and your OH.

pigpen

Deborah, I have had ERPC several times.. I bled for about 5-10 days after.. you go to sleep you wake up it's all 'dealt with'.. left to nature one I hadn't had pretty much the same experience as you and the second time it was 'left' I bled for 3 months until I had the ERPC. It increased the chances of infection and allsorts.. They ay offer you 'medical management'.. basically they give you a pill and 2 days later your body expels everything.. usually.. it doesn't always work and you end up having the ERPC anyway. For me, I found the surgical option was the least traumatic, you feel nothing, you see nothing and it is quick and relatively simple by comparison.. the physical recovery was also a lot quicker. You need to decide wha is best for you.. but given nothing has been evident in 4 weeks it seems unlikely it will deal with itself at this point.

I know that all sounds very hard and clinical but it is just the way it is.. I know exactly how you are feeling, I know it will effect every pregnancy you have forever from now on and I also know it will get easier in time.

big hugs.. and whatever decision you make will be the right one for you.

delain

As someone else who had an m/c at home (didn't see any doctors at all) I would say have the ERPC as a 'natural' miscarriage is just the most awful thing. I think it would have helped me anyway. It is stressful and upsetting enough without having to deal with it at home and live with the idea that it could happen anytime.

ETA: Medical management will also be extremely unpleasant I won't go into detail on here of how I know that, but that was a harrowing experience as well, and led to me being very very unwell for some weeks afterwards.

I wish you all the best and have a dodgy hug :grouphug:

msb5262

Hello deborahmcgeachy,

So sorry - how awful. It's so ironic that you felt you'd safely got to 12 weeks only for this to happen.

I'm another one in favour of ERPC. The alternatives aren't great, and I found ERPC to be very straightforward.

Best wishes to you and your OH. Don't try to be too strong, just cry together and let it all out.

MsB x

SkipE

delain wrote: »

As someone else who had an m/c at home (didn't see any doctors at all) I would say have the ERPC as a 'natural' miscarriage is just the most awful thing. I think it would have helped me anyway. It is stressful and upsetting enough without having to deal with it at home and live with the idea that it could happen anytime.

ETA: Medical management will also be extremely unpleasant I won't go into detail on here of how I know that, but that was a harrowing experience as well, and led to me being very very unwell for some weeks afterwards.

I wish you all the best and have a dodgy hug :grouphug:

I second this. My miscarriage was natural as I was only just getting used to the idea of being pregnant I hadnt seen a doctor i had no idea what was happening. I didnt get the chance to have ERPC. If it can be avoided I found the natural miscarriage to be the most awful experience physically and emotionally.

Im so sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself. x