Miscarriage support

Nephthys

Hi Deborah, I'm really sorry you have to go through this. I had a MMC just over a year and a half ago (blighted ovum) and opted for the ERPC. I really wasn't sure which to go for as like yourself, my body was not for giving in and doing things on its own. Even with the drugs I had taken on the morning of the op there was no bleeding which I had been told there might be. Like the others it was very quick (although I can't remember what time I went in or came out) according to my DH. I bled really like a normal period for a couple of days and 4 days later had a slightly larger bleed (nothing to panic over just a bit of a surprise) and then it went a day later - about 5-6 days. Cycle started 4 weeks later.

I will admit I was terrified as I had never had an operation before and didn't know what to expect but if I had to go back and choose again - I would still have the operation.

Cry when you need to, hug (and talk to) your OH and use us as a sounding board when you need to. Take care of yourself. Thinking of you. Neph.

Ginger_Poodle

Hi Deborah. At the risk of repeating the opinions of others...

I have had 2 <natural> miscarriages and 1 ERPC (ERPC in very similar circumstances to your miscarriage, went for 12 week scan to be told our baby had died at around 6 weeks). It is a personal decision, but I found the ERPC so much easier (!). The hospital staff were so supportive, and it made me feel more in control. Without going into too much detail, my 3rd MC was further along and very distressing to see.

Good luck with your decision, and your future. I truly hope you will be able to see light at the end of the tunnel one day soon x

chucknorris69

So sorry to hear your news Deborah. I had a missed miscarriage at eight and half weeks and found out at my twelve week scan. I had a natural miscarriage and found it very traumatic and harrowing. I would be in favour of having a ERPC, rather than natural. Whatever you decide, I am thinking of you, and if you have any questions, just ask. Lots of hugs xx

portsmouthali

Ginger_Poodle wrote: »

Hi Deborah. At the risk of repeating the opinions of others...

I have had 2 <natural> miscarriages and 1 ERPC (ERPC in very similar circumstances to your miscarriage, went for 12 week scan to be told our baby had died at around 6 weeks). It is a personal decision, but I found the ERPC so much easier (!). The hospital staff were so supportive, and it made me feel more in control. Without going into too much detail, my 3rd MC was further along and very distressing to see.

Good luck with your decision, and your future. I truly hope you will be able to see light at the end of the tunnel one day soon x

Hi Debs, I'm so sorry for your loss.

I completely agree with what others have said, and could have typed the above myself

Thinking of you xx

welshpolarbear

Hi Deborah, I just wanted to say that I can honestly feel your pain, we too have lost our little one this week and we are absolutely devasted. We were 21 weeks on Tuesday, but found out last Friday she had passed away. I gave birth to a little girl yesterday at 2am and it was the hardest thing I think I will ever have to do in my life. She was gorgeous and I'm completely heartbroken :-( xx

marywooyeah

welshpolarbear wrote: »

Hi Deborah, I just wanted to say that I can honestly feel your pain, we too have lost our little one this week and we are absolutely devasted. We were 21 weeks on Tuesday, but found out last Friday she had passed away. I gave birth to a little girl yesterday at 2am and it was the hardest thing I think I will ever have to do in my life. She was gorgeous and I'm completely heartbroken :-( xx

awww hun that is heartbreaking and the worst thing is nothing will ever change that she is gone. I hope you got to spend time with her, I know some places they take hand/foot prints, maybe you could ask for these? I am so sorry for your loss, I know you have probably heard that a lot but I truly am, the pain can be overwhelming, but the best thing you can do is let it out and cry when you need to. I'm just so sorry xxx

welshpolarbear

Thank you, your kind words mean a lot. We did get to spend time with her, holding her in the blanket we took in for her was so special and we have hand and footprints and photos. Memories of those hugs we gave her will survive forever. You're right, the pain is overwhelming and I am doing little else but cry! Am being looked after well though. Thanks for your kind wishes xx

marywooyeah

I am glad you have a supportive partner. I lost my LO in very ifferent circumstances to you over 5 years ago and still think of him every day, it changes you. people may say to you (and I think its very insensitive tbh) oh you can try again but nothing will replace the child you lost and thats why the pain is so great. I am glad you got to have time with her and will have reminders of her, its important to have them to feel close to her. I have his scan picture framed and give him a little kiss, and a charm bracelet with a charm of his initial. no one (apart from my partner) knows that its for him and I wear it every day so theres always a little part of him with me, perhaps something like that would be of comfort to you? the blanket sounds lovely.
theres lots of people on here who have unfortunately experienced the same as you, no doubt you'll be inundated with PMs, I imagine that will also be of comfort to you. also had a little pray for you too xxx

portsmouthali

Oh my goodness WPB, I'm so sorry thinking of you xxxx

TeamLowe

WPB so sorry for you
i found out yesterday that my pregnancy ended at 5.5 weeks, have to go back for a scan next week to make sure (they're apparently worried that i somehow miscarried then got pregnant again straight away) i was too upset to ask many questions at the time but the lady (have no idea if she was a midwife, nurse, space alien, she was just the one looking at the scan and telling me what it looked like) said that as it was so young it would probably be medication to induce the whateveritscalled. can i request the surgical route? i've heard the tablets can be a harrowing experience or not even work.
just trying to be practical xx