Miscarriage support

pigpen

Teamlowe.. It may well be you did m/c and conceive immediately after, it has happened to me a few times, some were ok some weren't.. how many weeks 'should' you be by your dates? You can request the ERPC as there is quite a high failure rate on the medical management.

WPB.. I hope you are holding up sweetie.. (and SusanC and i<3freebies too) you have all had such a terrible time.. just wanted you all to know I am thinking of you.

TeamLowe

thanks pigpen, duno if knowing it can happen makes it worse or better, atm i'm expecting the worst cos i don't want to hope and be devestated again, iyswim I was meant to be 11+5, or 10+5 as my cycle was a week longer than normal.

sorry if i'm prying in a personal matter, but the times where you conceived straight away again, did you have any bleeding? i had none which is why i don't think that happened, cos if it did where is the other one?

we're going to be very non MSE this weekend and go away for a couple of nights, to a guest house in the middle of nowhere, as someone in the family has been through this a few times and said that it really helped them to be able to talk whilst not facing each other, like you do when you're walking or looking out at the same view, as some things are easier to say when you don't have to look someone in the eye.
just thought it might be something that could help others, i know atm my husband is determined to be strong for me, so hopefully this weekend will help him open up x x

pigpen

TeamLowe wrote: »

thanks pigpen, duno if knowing it can happen makes it worse or better, atm i'm expecting the worst cos i don't want to hope and be devestated again, iyswim I was meant to be 11+5, or 10+5 as my cycle was a week longer than normal.

sorry if i'm prying in a personal matter, but the times where you conceived straight away again, did you have any bleeding? i had none which is why i don't think that happened, cos if it did where is the other one?

we're going to be very non MSE this weekend and go away for a couple of nights, to a guest house in the middle of nowhere, as someone in the family has been through this a few times and said that it really helped them to be able to talk whilst not facing each other, like you do when you're walking or looking out at the same view, as some things are easier to say when you don't have to look someone in the eye.
just thought it might be something that could help others, i know atm my husband is determined to be strong for me, so hopefully this weekend will help him open up x x

I've had bleeding in all of my pregnancies but I would guess it is unlikely to be a new pregnancy if you had no bleeding between and a positive test more than 4 weeks ago.

The first early m/c is usually the hardest, it is the one you are not expecting , te one that is the biggest shock.. but time is a great healer and most often it is for a good reason when very early...

gratefulforhelp_2

welshpolarbear wrote: »

Hi Deborah, I just wanted to say that I can honestly feel your pain, we too have lost our little one this week and we are absolutely devasted. We were 21 weeks on Tuesday, but found out last Friday she had passed away. I gave birth to a little girl yesterday at 2am and it was the hardest thing I think I will ever have to do in my life. She was gorgeous and I'm completely heartbroken :-( xx

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Hugs all round, and coping vibes.

colli

Hello all, hope everyone is coping the best they can.

TeamLowe wrote: »

WPB so sorry for you
i found out yesterday that my pregnancy ended at 5.5 weeks, have to go back for a scan next week to make sure (they're apparently worried that i somehow miscarried then got pregnant again straight away) i was too upset to ask many questions at the time but the lady (have no idea if she was a midwife, nurse, space alien, she was just the one looking at the scan and telling me what it looked like) said that as it was so young it would probably be medication to induce the whateveritscalled. can i request the surgical route? i've heard the tablets can be a harrowing experience or not even work.
just trying to be practical xx

I went through similar a couple of weeks ago. I should have been 9 weeks but the pregnancy was only showing as about 5. I assumed I'd need some kind of medical intervention as I'd already gone 4 weeks without anything happening but I started to miscarry naturally a day or two after the scan (can't remember exactly how long now it's a bit of a blur ). Apparently it's not uncommon that in some cases once your mind knows the pregnancy is over your body "lets go" (though obvously not the case for everyone). The miscarriage itself was ok, not much worse than a heavy and painful period (but I do get bad periods anyway), I guess I was lucky in that respect.

Hope you're ok, I'm a couple of weeks on from you and whilst I wouldn't say it's less painful, I'm getting used to it (if that makes any sense?), I'm feeling much more positive about the future and probably don't think about it quite as much

Jesswithwings

Hi everyone, I'm so sad to see so many ladies who have lost their precious babies. My heart goes out to each of you. I hope you are all being kind to yourselves.

I lost my baby 5 weeks ago. I was 8 weeks pregnant and the pregnancy was ectopic. The lady who scanned me said the baby was still alive and I am really struggling to come to terms with that.

My tube ruptured and I had to have emergency surgery to remove it - apparently I was quite lucky and if I'd left it an hour or 2 I might well have ended up in the morgue instead. I'm doing ok, physically I'm back to normal but emotionally its taking a bit longer. Sadly DH and I cannot agree on the future of our family - he doesnt want to risk another pregnancy where as I just want another baby. We are already blessed with 3 children who are keeping me going right now.

I have had 2 early mc as well - one before each of my sons were conceived, and while I was very sad to lose those babies this has really hurt me. i think because I knew the baby was alive and also we continued our TTC journey after the mcs but this time it has come to a rather ubrupt end.

Anyway, thats me! xx

carolineb23

i'm so sorry Jess. I had an ectopic pregnancy last year and it completely devastated me. Coming to terms with the fact that you nearly lost your own life and on top of that you, lost your much wanted baby feels impossible. I found the ectopic pregnancy org website and forum invaluable after our loss. The general advice is to wait for 3 months after surgery to ttc again, I found that I was utterly petrified of being pregnant again (my ectopic was my first pregnancy, and I convinced myself it would happen again because there was something wrong with me), however, as soon as the 3 months were up, I did feel ready. It took a while longer than we hoped, but I am pregnant again, and the baby is in the right place. I used to read all the stories and convince myself I would not be able to conceive again, or that I would have more ectopics (as I am sure you're aware, unfortunately the chance of a second is higher than the chance of a first), but I have been so very lucky. Take some time to grieve and look after yourselves, and perhaps re-evaluate your feelings in a couple of months.
xx

carolineb23

Just to add, WPB I posted in your other thread, but I am also so so sorry for your loss, I can't begin to comprehend what you must be going through. It always saddens me when I see this thread bumped, I'm thinking of all you lovely ladies xxx

TeamLowe

colli wrote: »

Hello all, hope everyone is coping the best they can.



I went through similar a couple of weeks ago. I should have been 9 weeks but the pregnancy was only showing as about 5. I assumed I'd need some kind of medical intervention as I'd already gone 4 weeks without anything happening but I started to miscarry naturally a day or two after the scan (can't remember exactly how long now it's a bit of a blur ). Apparently it's not uncommon that in some cases once your mind knows the pregnancy is over your body "lets go" (though obvously not the case for everyone). The miscarriage itself was ok, not much worse than a heavy and painful period (but I do get bad periods anyway), I guess I was lucky in that respect.

Hope you're ok, I'm a couple of weeks on from you and whilst I wouldn't say it's less painful, I'm getting used to it (if that makes any sense?), I'm feeling much more positive about the future and probably don't think about it quite as much

thanks for this, started bleeding so i guess it is a case of my mind knowing has clued everything else, although they could have just irritated my cervix, but i am hoping for a natural one, odd as that sounds, i hated my experience in the EPU and if i don't have to go back there i'll be very happy.

the lady who was telling me said the classic 'at least you know you can get pregnant' (would much rather not get pregnant than get pregnant and lose it, thanks) but she did also say that sometimes a first pregnancy is such a shock to your body, in that it's never dealt with something like that before, that sometimes it can't cope and you miscarry, but the second pregnancy is ok as it's had a little bit of practice. it's probably the biggest pack of bobbins in the world ever, but i am finding comfort in that.

Jess, sorry to hear about your loss and your husband's reaction, although i do think it's perfectly understandable, he's probably now very very scared of losing the love of his life, i hope it works out for you both

and though your baby was alive it could not have survived much longer, i hope you can comes to term with the fact that you did the best thing for your angel and for yourself x x

portsmouthali

carolineb23 wrote: »

Just to add, WPB I posted in your other thread, but I am also so so sorry for your loss, I can't begin to comprehend what you must be going through. It always saddens me when I see this thread bumped, I'm thinking of all you lovely ladies xxx

I feel the same Caroline, I check this thread most days am always kind of pleased when no-one posts for a while

Sorry for all your losses Teamlowe, your weekend away sounds like a great idea. It's only now, over 18 months after our first loss that my OH can really speak about it - he just couldn't deal with it before now.

Jess, after our 2nd loss my OH was certain that he didn't want us to try any more and I didn't deal with that very well at all. But, time does heal and 6 months down the line he changed his mind again - thank goodness.

Thinking of you all xxxxx