Sick of my local supermarket! Grrrr!

eamon

The Co-op appear to specialise is hiring surly, rude, ignorant, unhelpful staff and unfortunately we only remember them instead of the helpful, knowledgeable, considerate staff that they also employ.

As for the alcohol rule. All it does is antagonise genuine customers. Any remotely clued up underage drinker can easily bypass this stupid rule. There was a perfectly fine law before all this stupidity it just wasn't applied. Also if the media are to be believed our high streets, parks and other civic areas are still awash with underage drunk, rowdy people. Perhaps a better idea would have been to reduce the number of outlets that could sell alcohol. Sadly our "betters" decided that they knew best.

There we are rant over. To the OP sorry about your unpleasant shopping experience.

Eamon

chelle230

I work in retail, and have for 14 years, and was a store manager for years up until recently, so have experience in this.

anyone who stops somebody or searches on suspicion of theft has to witness the person take something, not pay for it and get past the point of purchase. they are not allowed to just stop you for no reason.
also if it wasn't a security guard, and just a normal member of staff that witnesses it, the staff not the guard have to stop that person, guard can be present though.

also unless the guard is new, I would expect them to know the products that are sold in my store, as does our guard where I work now, at least the high risk goods anyway, like baby products.

I would complain to the store manager, and maybe find out the company who employ rthe guard and put in a complaint about his conduct.

hope this helps

Loz01

I HATE supermarkets ID system for alcohol :mad: They always ID me. Im 23 but fair enough, look about 17/18, so Ive been informed. But they sparodically do it, then seem to serve people who are blatantly much younger than me?!

And one time they refused to serve me because my friend was with just standing me and she didnt have ID?! When I was buying it! And she's actually a year older than me. I argued that I was the one buying the bloody drink and I DID have ID - eventually she called a supervisor over and they let me have it! I then informed them that my mate is actually a year older than me and they just shrugged in a really patronising, smug way.

nomnomnom

I agree with floss2. You should complain about the attitude of the woman refusing to serve you and the security guards causing you upset.

RoxieW

thank you all for your support and kind words. am sat in tears because that is the way i am at the moment. i am struggling at the moment but i am against antidepressants as i dont like putting things artificial into my body and being reliant on them for a long period of time but i've given in and took my first one yesterday. if anything i felt worse and feel bad again today.
husband doesnt understand so is generally unsupportive - hence me seeking the support of strangers on here.

looby75

Oh Roxie I really wish I could give you a huge hug. I remember feeling exactly how you do now (I've suffered with depression on and off for most of my adult life) and I know you don't want to take the tablets but you are doing the right thing by taking them. I promise you that once they get into your system you will see that they aren't as bad as you think, they are simply replacing something your body isn't making enough of at the moment....serotonin. It won't be forever, and they do take a while to start to work but please please give them a chance, you won't regret it.

MrsTinks

Be happy they ID you... I haven't been ID'd since I was 16... quite depressing - I obviously look old!
If you don't want antidepressants then look at how you can tackle things without them - I've been depressed (not PND but "normal" depression) and managed fine without chemicals. That said - everyone is an individual
I found fighting my way out of it made me a stronger over all person.
Go to the gym, save up and have a shopping trip (I can recommend Debenhams personal shopping service!) and treat yourself and have a facial or something.
All will make you feel better and better able to cope with things. Get a routine in place and put your foot down with you hubby. Explain that PND is a serious issue and you expect his blooming support or he can find himself somewhere else to live! You may not mean it but it should kick him into action

aliadds

Sending you a big hug Roxie! I had to take anti depressants after the breakdown of my marriage and it was really hard as I had always thought that it was mind over matter. How wrong i was. In any case I was on them for quite a while, and while they didn't lessen my pain, they made me more relaxed and eventually 12 months ago I came off them by myself and so far so good! However I would never rule out taking them or any other medication again!
I realise they might not be the answer for everyone, but under close medical supervision I think you're right to give them a go!
I also recall being told that you may feel worse before you feel better!
Just keep talking to people! A trouble shared and all that;)

RoxieW

MrsTine wrote: »

Be happy they ID you... I haven't been ID'd since I was 16... quite depressing - I obviously look old!
If you don't want antidepressants then look at how you can tackle things without them - I've been depressed (not PND but "normal" depression) and managed fine without chemicals. That said - everyone is an individual
I found fighting my way out of it made me a stronger over all person.
Go to the gym, save up and have a shopping trip (I can recommend Debenhams personal shopping service!) and treat yourself and have a facial or something.
All will make you feel better and better able to cope with things. Get a routine in place and put your foot down with you hubby. Explain that PND is a serious issue and you expect his blooming support or he can find himself somewhere else to live! You may not mean it but it should kick him into action

I know you are trying to help but I have been fighting for 15 years and am tired. I have had spells of severe depression since teenage years. I have tried so many things - including different antis in the past, counselling, psychotherapy etc etc. I do exercise and treat myself which does help but temporarily. Unfortunately there isnt anything I can do to lift this - I have tried without antidepressants since I had my baby nearly a year ago. Obviously I am not strong enough to do it myself as the doctor is not happy with my progress. I felt like such a failure yesterday taking that tablet and do again today. I dont think an arguement with my husband will help at the moment. if he did leave i would be devastated.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

OK, I'm probably going to offend a few people now - it isn't my intention at all.

A common method of females shoplifting is to bumble around apparently doing a normal shop, but with expensive stuff hidden by multipack crisps/cereals/etc, or just with one or two higher value items.

At the last moment, the steak, vodka, baby milk, nappies, etc, get slipped under the buggy/in the rain cover and the lady concerned (who will invariably be wearing easy to run in clothing - like leggings, jumper and Uggs - it also makes it difficult to describe her to the police) will skittle out of the shop fairly sharpish.

In all fairness, there are also quite a few mums who, on finding it hard to manage financially, will also resort to stealing when it comes to getting their babies milk or nappies, as desperation forces them to do it. I was luckily, never in that position, but had one of my DDs needed milk as a baby, I would have stolen it if I had nowhere else to turn.

As such, a young woman looking a bit harassed, with a child in a buggy, wearing the usual clothes, will easily match the description or image of a likely shoplifter.

The number one criteria for security guards seems to be hair - if you're having a bad hair day, not washed it yet, for example, you are far more likely to be selected than the woman with the salon perfect shine. It's not fair, but the guards have to make themselves useful and would get into trouble if they upset 'posh' people all the time, as they would complain more often.

So the trick to be left alone by security guards seems to be, try and look a bit posh, whatever that is, rather than a little 'chavvy'. (NOT directed at you personally! It's a generalisation, just like the ones the security guards are making! It's not implying it's your fault, I can't see what you look like anyway, but it's the reasoning they could be using)

Think 25 - well, what can you do? It's rubbish but they have to do it, although I would complain to Head Office if they were rude. It's worth noting that a Connect or VISA card is only available to over 18s, it's the Electrons, etc, that are given to under 18s. They are usually accepted as ID where there is no passport or driving licence. Although if I were fortunate enough to still look that young, I think I would get one of those proof of age cards, just to save the hassle. There are more important battles in life.

Turning to depression, you can always change GP if you feel she is pressuring you to take medication that you do not want to take without offering alternatives. For a start, some people just do not get on with anti d's - if you get feelings of unreality or like everything's a bit too bright and shiny, for example, you should go straight back to the GP and arrange a way of tailing them off immediately, as there are specific side effects that can be very dangerous (you can't just stop taking them, as you probably well know).

In fact, if you feel that bad that this has failed to shift in such a long time, perhaps you should be asking firstly for counselling, but also to be seen by a specialist, as not every case of depression can be shifted by a GP insisting you chuck a Prozac down your neck and everything'll be alright.

I hope you feel it lifting soon, though - as there should be no embarrassment to needing suitable medication - if you had a broken leg, not only would you need support (a cast), you would need painkillers for a period, if you have a broken finger, you'd need support (a splint) but possibly not painkillers. There's no shame in needing painkillers for a broken leg, just as there's no shame in managing without with a broken finger. They're just different breaks. Likewise, some depression lifts with just support, some needs medication as well.

I do hope yours lifts soon, though.