MSE Parents Club Part 10

harley1

Oh Beenie, you really do deserve so much better than to be treated like that.

I agree that you should print it out and stick it to your fridge. Read it everytime he gets in touch to strengthen your resolve.

And if you do bother to speak to him on wednesday, although I agree that you should go out for the whole day or he will continue to believe you should be at his beck and call, tell him that I think he got off lightly and to be damn grateful he is not my ex. Or his life would be an awful lot harder than just being grassed up as a skiver.

(((Hugs))) xxx

pigpen

Sami_Bee wrote: »

those with older LOs When did you/do you plan to give them 'under cooked' eggs/meat and unpasteurised cheese?

Mine had 'dippy eggs' from about 2.. they couldn't really handle them well enough before that and slopped it everywhere and knocked them over etc..

I don't buy unpasteurised cheese.. but if I did they'd have it from about the time they could pick it up and ram it in their mouths so for mine.. probably about 10-11 months

I wouldn't knowingly or willingly feed ANYONE undercooked meat..

Sami_Bee

Beenie - did you see the link DKAM posted awhile ago about how controlling/abusive relationships affect kids? She said it was reading that that made her realise she had to keep ex out of their lives

Glamazon

Yeah he is getting good with the chewing, think some toast tomorrow might help even more. OH had an apple on Sunday and gave Jack the core (with quite abit of apple left) and he gummed it dry and even managed to get bits of the apple off but he spat them all out.

Right hair dye on, I hate waiting. I have the lappy within an inch of my face because I can't wear my glasses cos I'll get dye on them! I am so blind!

Beenie - my turn to possible offend. He sounds quite manipulative - OK what you did was maybe a bit mean in telling his work because he could have lost his job BUT that is nothing and I mean NOTHING compared to what he has done to you. He left you at 5months pg, on your own, with bills to pay, Cam to bring up (I know you were doing that anyway) and now you have another child which he hasn't offered to buy anything for or provide for. It's not your fault that he has easy access to drugs were he is - that's tough. You're not a rehab centre. Keep your chin up and definitely go out tomorrow.

BeenieCat

Yeah i can't remember the site name but i remembered clicking on it and it was on my mind for a few days after.

I feel sh!tty for moaning so much when DKAM and her boys are going through hell atm.

I didn't ever have a father figure in my life, and now i'm scared that my DS won't learn how to be a proper man because who's gonna show him?? I am trying hard enough not be like my mother let alone know how a well rounded man is. I've never had any form of decent man in my life so how can i expect DS to turn into one??

xmaslolly76

Once everything as settled down for you beenie why dont you look into adopting a grandad for him there are lots of older people out there who would love the chance to pass on their life experiences and be a good male role model to him. As i say thats something for the future you need to get yourself sorted properly first.

elastigirl

DS1 couldn't be weened or have gluten until 9 mths as hubby is a coeliac, and it was a mistake but you do everything your told with your first. Now i take everything they say with a pinich of salt. Hv would have a fit if she knew ds2 doesn't have his milk warm. But i make it up like they showed me on the neonatal ward. I will ween ds2 at 6 mths and he will have gluten. I know the signs and will stop it if i think there is a problem.

BeenieCat

Glam I love that, you're right i'm not a rehab centre. I always judged heroin addicts as dirty thieving disease riddled lying scumbags. He was the last person i'd expect to have a dodgy past like that. And if anything it just shows that it can be anyone, and you wouldn't know it.
I don't know anything about it, when i found out he had the past i quizzed him about it because i was interested. But i didn't realise that once you're an addict it's with you for life no matter how long you stay clean. 9 years was a long time, to throw it all away again.

I can honestly say i wouldn't have touched him with a bargepole if i knew there was a chance he'd go back on it. He was so far from my stereotype that i just never would have guessed. Daddy's a smackhead - lovely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

harley1

Beenie, having no father figure has got to be better than learning from that twerp. (I'm running out of names that the filter won't block, believe me I am thinking up lots of bad ones).
DS will grow into a good, kind, thoughtful person because that is what you are. You don't need to be a man to do that. And who knows you might meet someone one day who will show him the way but if you don't then he will still be fine.

Am confused by the drug thing. I'm sure I have easy access to drugs in my town but I don't go and get them. And before anyone comments on the addiction side of it, I managed to not give in to the temptation of cigarettes and they are available every time I go to a shop.

It is called being a parent, and wanting to do your very best for your children. He needs to grow up, get a spine and take responsibility for his actions. Until he does I wouldn't worry that you are missing out on anything, it really does sound like he's done you a favour.

I'll shut up now. As you were.
xxx

Sami_Bee

Beenie, you don't need a father to know how to be a decent bloke.
Does he go to any clubs like cubs/scouts, football team, karate? those are great places where he could have a healthy male influence and bonus of learning some great skills :cool: