MSE Parents Club Part 10

searching_me

ok i'll say my opinion on bf/ff not that anyone will probably be interested just these are how i feel and my experinces on the matter ..with my kids .. ze i really wanted to bf but i tried very hard and ended that it was so painful i cried everytime i fed her and i feared the next one so much that on xmas day at 5am me and my step-dad searched for an open shop selling baby milk so we could both rest as zoe hadnt had a proper feed since she'd been born .. the HV was not helpful and because i was so young (i was 17 when i had zoe) i was looked down and was told i was probably doing it wrong .. she'd say i wasnt but its wasnt til i screamed in pain did she even believe me ..with jayden i tried again and i last 4-5 weeks the pain was getting strong and i couldnt last the feeds which meant jayden wasnt getting all he needed i was getting my stressed and worried so the cycle continued ..if we decided to have another i will try again but i will not put pressure on myself again i was left to feel like a !!!!!! mum, was looked down on and found there was no one to talk to about ff if i hadnt been through it was zoe i would of been left with nothing and sent on my way which is wrong ff babies need just as much help as bf babies just because it comes from a tin you do not know how to do it with the brake of a seal ... mothers have a choice which is why the milk is there .. i suppose in one way it makes life easier and less stress as mm said earlier the dad can take over without worrying have i left enough milk or oh damn i forgot to express .. i dont see either one being bad or good just different options that work for different family and different women yes bf is natural but for some women it doesnt come natural which is why formula is there .. i dont see why instead of putting women in groups on bf or ff we dont just class it as feeding a baby and help each other, as long as they're happy healthy and you're doing right by them then its all ok by me ...phew ok .. i'll finish there ..

just thought id added .. i had no one to talk to apart from you lovey lot x

Jakesmummy

Buttonmoons wrote: »

Why is he crying, do you know? Has he been there long? How long does he get at nursery btw? Keira gets 2 1/2 hours a day. Considering its a mile walk each way, doesn't give me long to come home and sit on here, I mean erm do dishes.


Has Jake tried anymore foods? I've gotten Keira to try spag bol (no mince), spicy chicken goujons, lentil soup and cream cheese on toast.

he gets 3 hours at nursery, but now with him having dinners he's there 3nhalf hours, i think he's crying because of the dinner thing, when he first started he wouldnt touch cows milk but now cos they have it with their afternoon snack he will drink it, thats why ive put him on dinners in the hope he'l try some new foods, im going to have to broaden my food at home as well i think!

gotta get ready to pick him up now anyway so il speak 2 u all later xx

tiamai_d

Since Tigs and Elle have been talking about it, can I also whinbe about SCBU?

Feeding schedules. I was told to leave Amber for 4 hours, but my boobs were ready after 3 hours and I was always randomly there after 3 hours. She would have got out earlier if I had been allowed to go with my own instincts and just feed her instead of waiting that extra hour and having her blood sugars drop. And the expressing rules, pump for 10mins only. That gave me mastitis.

Surely if you are breast feeding a baby in SCBU/NICU, and they are actually feeding, you should be allowed to follow the routine that is naturaly making itself known, rather than 3/4 hourly? So long as it is all marked down, what does it matter? Many full term, 'healthy' babies can't go any longer than 3 hours, so why force the little special ones to wait 4?

redmel1621

Ooops I didn't mean it to come across that she is a liar, just that ahe has very strong views that I don't think would be changed (rightly so) by a couple of posts on a forum.... Apologies to feelie if that is how it was read x At the end of the day no-one should ever, ever be made to feel inadaquate for the way they are feeding their baby/child.

Incidently (while we are on about feeding) I tried kai with pizza at the weekend and he didn't like it - weirdo! Lol x

mel x

Mel x

jillie1974

tiamai_d wrote: »

I suppose I see it from both sides. Breast feeding is very convienient when it goes well, but seems to come along with a snobbery. I've seen women suggest that the world should stop in it's tracks just because they can feed a baby. Some seem to think that every woman with a baby should be sitting down anywhere they fancy and getting their boobs out, and making a show of what they are doing. Others are more down to earth and realise that no matter where the milk is coming from, they are simply feeding a child, end of. It's not a political statement, it's just food. Maybe that's the reason I wasn't more willing to try, I just wanted to feed my baby, not get into politics.

tend to agree with you on this Tia.

find it on here a little as well

Sami_Bee

jillie1974 wrote: »

lol!!

so next meet is provisionally 7th April at the Lowry and its a Wednesday?

ooh burgerking is at the Lowry...my fave!!

yeppers I might try BK with you I've never had one!! (I'm such a wuss I don't like not knowing what is what so won't go anywhere new on my own )

Fritha wrote: »

Hello :-)



Yup, it was an improvised muslin sling and she was really quite taken with it! I was very proud! Her positioning wasn't perfect, we may have to have a chat about protecting dolly's back and airway, but for a first time... ;-)

lol! I bought a piece of fabric for Chris to use as a sling but he won't use it

tiamai_d wrote: »

...
So while I am very gald to have fed her for as long as I did, switching to formula was the correct choice for us.
...

I just wanted to emphasise this point. You didn't give up as lots of us with lingering guilt would say, you just changed the method of feeding. very healthy positive way of thinking :T

SugarSpun

Boo, if you do see another MSE snugglenest please do pick it up and I'll either make it to a meetup or Paypal the fairies for fairy post. Thank you lovely :A

three2be wrote: »

Dose anyone know why it is so bad to use a pillow with a NB...

Would it be OK to put something under the legs of the cot or the mattress.

NBs are at risk of suffocating because they can't turn their faces away, but something under the mattress is fine. FWIW, Molly would lie on a soft pillow to BF and would quite often fall asleep there, so I just hollowed out enough space for there to be no danger of her suffocating and stayed in the room while she slept doing other stuff.

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

A-hem

I have often wondered if my easy time with BF is down to my hubbys over-exhuberance with my nipples pre-Benjamin. Were they already tougher than most?

Would it be worth suggesting that pregnant women try an intensive course of nipple tweaking and pulling in preparation?



A-hem

I wondered that too :rotfl::o

tiamai_d wrote: »

I've seen women suggest that the world should stop in it's tracks just because they can feed a baby. Some seem to think that every woman with a baby should be sitting down anywhere they fancy and getting their boobs out, and making a show of what they are doing. Others are more down to earth and realise that no matter where the milk is coming from, they are simply feeding a child, end of. It's not a political statement, it's just food. Maybe that's the reason I wasn't more willing to try, I just wanted to feed my baby, not get into politics.

Oh, and I was also told that I was disgusting for feeding Amber in a disabled toilet from another breast feeder. !!!!!! is that about?

Well said. I've also fed Molly in a (disgusting, but this one actually was) disabled toilet - I wasn't about to hoik my dress over my head in public... BF isn't a political statement, it's about feeding a hungry baby, and I am b0ll0xed if I'm going to leave my monster screaming because someone might be offended by my oh-so-desensitised nipple.

SusanC_2

searching_me wrote: »

ok i'll say my opinion on bf/ff not that anyone will probably be interested just these are how i feel and my experinces on the matter

I was interested.

Actually your post has reminded me of another thing which helped me to keep breastfeeding which is that I expressed and OH did one feed a night. (This isn't specifically directed at you - it's more for Feely - you just reminded me.) I used to look forward to my nipples getting that longer break from feeding and I am convinced that that is another key reason why I was able to keep going as it really did help make the pain more manageable. Unfortunately "they" seem to be very anti expressing and bottle feeding EBM at all and especially in the first few weeks which means most people have stopped anyway before they're "allowed" to express. In the WHO project I mentioned earlier where they raised breastfeeding rates to around 97% one of the things they did was teach all the women how to express.

jillie1974

SusanC wrote: »

They do get support in terms of the medical professionals supporting the idea of them breastfeeding but not necessarily in terms of practical help. So say you are having trouble with Kian taking his bottles, you might mention it to the HV and she might say, "Have you tried the next size up teats?" and then you try that and it works. (I have no idea if that would be right - I'm just making it up.) Whereas say if someone is having a breastfeeding related problem (e.g. baby won't feed - it took Alice 24 hours before she fed or if someone has problems with over or under supply etc.), the medical professionals advising you often don't seem to have any idea of what might be a practical solution and therefore a lot of people give up as a result. So there is lots of "support" - it's just not necessarily the right kind. Does that make sense?

I actually have a friend who's baby ended up in hopsital because she persevered so long with breastfeeding but her baby wasn't latching on and feeding properly which ilustrates how harmful the "breast is best" mantra can be without the right support.

yes it makes sense.
i get asked at clinic. how many bottles is he taking and how often. but that is not everytime i go.
the support i meant was the phonelines etc you can ring to talk to someone if you do have a question but if i have a problem with K feeding say on a Sat who do i ring then???

redmel1621 wrote: »

Ooops I didn't mean it to come across that she is a liar, just that ahe has very strong views that I don't think would be changed (rightly so) by a couple of posts on a forum.... Apologies to feelie if that is how it was read x At the end of the day no-one should ever, ever be made to feel inadaquate for the way they are feeding their baby/child.

Incidently (while we are on about feeding) I tried kai with pizza at the weekend and he didn't like it - weirdo! Lol x

mel x

Mel x

mel, i kinda agreed with you.....:o

Sami_Bee

Mel - no probs. how much cheese was on the pizza? Chris likes his pizza with just a sprinkle not a big thick yummy oozey layer like I love.
mmmm pizzzaaaaa :drool: