Settling for Mr Second best.

Ivrytwr3

It's ok for your OH to comment that she doesn't believe that she isn't beautiful; that's women for you. But then for your OH to turn around and say, "Yes, i agree with you". My God! I would lose my testicles in the blink of an eye.

I must be blinkered then, because if i didn't find my OH sexy/beautiful etc as a complete package, then i wouldn't be with them. It was part of what attracted me to them in the first place.

Ivrytwr3

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Of course I find her attractive and sexy! I thought I said that. Well I said I like her in a swimsuit, which sort of says the same thing.
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So you didn't think she was anything special on your first meet, but then you saw her body? Well, whatever works for you.

mumslave

at the time I thought I was settling for second best, after finding out I was pregnant 7 weeks after meeting my now husband and deciding seeing as I was having a baby, it was time to grow up and do everything in my power to make a long lasting relationship with him. Yes it was an actual decison, there was another man on the scene whom had been there before my now husband, and didnt care I was having another mans baby..I felt more for this man at the time, it was all a bit complicated.

About 2 years into our marriage and pregnant with our second child, I realised one day that he wasnt a 'second best' he was in fact my Mr Right. I would never have thought it, at 11 years older, long curly hair and slim build...not usually my 'type' but he was and is still the only man for me. 6 years together, 5 years married, 4 kids....I feel very lucky and very glad I made the decision to settle for what I thought was second best. The other man...I dont even think of him now and if i do, its a fond memory, not a wish that I had made a different decision.

mumslave

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I didn't say that and I didn't say that either.

People can go with anyone they want, I was just saying, that you can realise your OH (or you) isn't the best looking person in the world and still love and want them.
I don't need to tell her that, I know she's intelligent to realise that in the western worlds view, where we both are on the attractiveness scale.

Of course I find her attractive and sexy! I thought I said that. Well I said I like her in a swimsuit, which sort of says the same thing.


Funny isn't it, someone up there ^ says, fat balding men shouldn't always aim towards beautiful young women, yet when I say I realise that both me and my OH aren't good looking enough to have our own calendar (yet we love each other), that's suddenly wrong.

I completely agree, there is nothing wrong in knowing your partner and yourself arent exactly page 3 models/play boys.

I can also understand wanting to settle with someone whom is not absolutely stunning to all and sundry, if you are the insecure type, it is very hard having a relationship with someone whom attracts attention whereever they go.

Lotus-eater

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

So you didn't think she was anything special on your first meet, but then you saw her body? Well, whatever works for you.

You seem determined to twist my words

As you say whatever works for me, at least others seem to be able to understand what I am saying.

Gingham_Ribbon

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

So you didn't think she was anything special on your first meet, but then you saw her body? Well, whatever works for you.

Ivrytwr, he's saying that he DOES find her sexy/attractive. He's also saying that they're both aware that they wouldn't appear top of a world's most sexy list. That's more about what other people perceive to be attractive than what attracts them to each other.

Gingham_Ribbon

mumslave wrote: »

I can also understand wanting to settle with someone whom is not absolutely stunning to all and sundry, if you are the insecure type, it is very hard having a relationship with someone whom attracts attention whereever they go.

Yikes! I can't. There's a big difference between settling for someone unattractive due to insecurity and being attracted to someone who isn't everyone else's idea of drop dead gorgeous.

mumslave

I dont mean unattractive to YOU, i mean perhaps just not everyones idea of 'brad pitt'. I would not be happy with someone whom got female attention wherever we went, a simple fact. My husband to me is gorgeous and I am sure some females do find him attractive, but in my previous post I mean the sort of good looking that the majority find stunning.

Ivrytwr3

Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »

Ivrytwr, he's saying that he DOES find her sexy/attractive. He's also saying that they're both aware that they wouldn't appear top of a world's most sexy list. That's more about what other people perceive to be attractive than what attracts them to each other.

No, he's saying that he is aware that his OH is not the most attractive woman in the room. His words, not mine.

I took this to mean a regular room; pub/party etc, i was not thinking of a Playboy party!

Ivrytwr3

He also said that until her saw her body, he didn't find her attractive. Ouch!