Why so mean?

Money_maker

ivy2409 wrote: »

I've been a lurker on this forum for a while and finally joined a few months ago mainly to post in the 'Avon' section. I regularly read the other sections and try to pick up hints and tips to try and sort out my current situation. But what I’ve found increasing common is certain members who seem to take some kind of perverse joy in being cruel and mean to other forum members, something I experienced myself today when I posted about a problem I had, even though I had taken the time to clearly explain my situation the first two people to respond obviously had not read my post properly and seemed to delight in telling me it was my own fault. Why do they do this? How many more people like myself are there out there who could really do with the advice this forum brings but are simply too scared to post in fear of what the response will be. I know some of those people are going to respond to this but they are just bullies with nothing better to do. I want to thank all the people who do take time to answer others questions and be supportive and to the others, well my mother always said if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all, maybe you could try that.

Different forums will elicit different responses. Problems with debt should be posted on the DFW board where sympathy and help will be provided.

Any other board and you'd better tighten your seatbelt.

Try again on the right board.
Good luck.

StrawberryYogurt

Also, from reading through the archives, I saw a thread started by someone who was totally broke and trying to make £3.00 last 2 weeks.

The thread is FULL of offers of food parcels..from complete strangers! They were sent as well! Thats not mean! Thats mind blowing KIND!

If someone disagrees they are not mean, they just have a different view. I have seen some replies where someone has totally been forward with their advice, no holding back, no sugar coating at all and the thread starter actually thanked them in the end, I guess its a bit like tough love.

gordikin

Absolutely SY. Many people on MSE do not 'sugar coat it' and call it as thay see it. They may be blunt in what they say...but that doesn't mean they are wrong.
Edited to say:- Sorry pitikin...you said it a whole lot better than I did!

pitkin2020

gordikin wrote: »

Absolutely SY. Many people on MSE do not 'sugar coat it' and call it as thay see it. They may be blunt in what they say...but that doesn't mean they are wrong.

But doesn't mean they are always right either....lol

gordikin

I agree...but it doesn't mean they are trolls either for disagreeing!

pitkin2020

gordikin wrote: »

I agree...but it doesn't mean they are trolls either for disagreeing!

I couldn't agree more the troll word is used against people with a post count under 10 or people who don't agree with everyone else.

Its one of the two words I hate on this forum and is used way to much, the other word being SCAM. Everything is a scam, every company are scam artists.

Sucker_for_sweeties

StrawberryYogurt wrote: »

Also, from reading through the archives, I saw a thread started by someone who was totally broke and trying to make £3.00 last 2 weeks.

The thread is FULL of offers of food parcels..from complete strangers! They were sent as well! Thats not mean! Thats mind blowing KIND!

If someone disagrees they are not mean, they just have a different view. I have seen some replies where someone has totally been forward with their advice, no holding back, no sugar coating at all and the thread starter actually thanked them in the end, I guess its a bit like tough love.

If I ask a question I want the FULLEST answer I can, including the 'harsh and outright baaaaad'. I believe it's the advantage of the forum being 'open' ....and probably it's biggest disadvantage too. (would like to put in 'shruggy shoulders' :cool:)

They can only upset them if you let them, but it's hard to be thickskinned...well for me:o.
I'm my usual self and take advice if I want to, rather than if it's given. Rebel, rebel;)

marvic31

The reality is, that it happens on a lot of forums. Its easy to slag off and patronise someone in the comfort of your own home. I doubt many would be so blatant when speaking face too face

But I have seen some good advice from members, and reading your other post i thought there was some good advice given.

~_SKY_~

i totally agree! too many people on here and elsewhere just dont think before they open the mouth - move the fingers in this case.

there is no need to be horrible or reply to a thread just to make the one who started it or anyone feel bad/upset. it just shows how little they are.

i've seen some really horrid threads on here in the past week, one of which is gone now, i forget the name of the OP but she came on upset and venting as is the name of this section, had just lost someone in her close family and wasnt thinking straight, there were a lot that were really horrible to her for no good reason. attacking is the word and being generally nasty. and in other threads as well. if i'd have been registered then i would have commented!

i say if you have nothing good to say or anything good to add to a thread esp when its a sore subject then just zip it basically.

no one is better than anyone else - no one.

StrawberryYogurt

Sucker_for_sweeties wrote: »

If I ask a question I want the FULLEST answer I can, including the 'harsh and outright baaaaad'. I believe it's the advantage of the forum being 'open' ....and probably it's biggest disadvantage too. (would like to put in 'shruggy shoulders' :cool:)

They can only upset them if you let them, but it's hard to be thickskinned...well for me:o.
I'm my usual self and take advice if I want to, rather than if it's given. Rebel, rebel;)

LOL..I agree with you!

I think though sometimes that similar questions are asked quite a lot, so those that can help give their standard / stock replies and because they *may* lack the personal touch they are seen as harsh, when in reality they are not. I mean, someone is taking the time to answer to a problem you have, then usually come back to check for more posts from you and reply to them to...someone you have never met takes the time to do what they can for you, just damnit they forgot to bring chocolates when doing it

* I use "You" as a general term.

:beer: